


Krebs

by Ijustneededanewname



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Mention of abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, mention of self harming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-11-06 08:09:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 90,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11032128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ijustneededanewname/pseuds/Ijustneededanewname
Summary: Levi finds out news from his longtime friend that's been followed by strife and pain. Life had just started to go good for him, why did it have to come by now? During this scheduled time, Levi drags him to have fun and ignore the due date, even though he himself wasn't the best out in loud crowds. He's determined to make him happy.





	1. Chapter 1

Erwin Smith was his friend since the beginning of middle school. They came from seperate pasts, and were opposite of one another. Erwin was an athletic star by school standards, doing a sport each season and bringing the school medals and trophies. He was also smart, straight A's and large smiles.

Levi wasn't as much. He was shorter than the rest of his peers, and of course a subject for bullying. His clothes were old and he got dress coded for the rips and holes in them. It wasn't his fault, and it wasn't anyone elses business. But the popular boy became involved when he stuck up for the skinny, pale boy instead of his friends.

He learned from there that the Ackerman family wasn't very rich and that Levi's mother was trying her best to keep him alive. News struck him when his mother got breast cancer and he knew they wouldn't be able to pay for any surgeries or chemotherapy or even visits to the hospital or doctor with how much money they were bringing in. 

The job at the corner deli mart didn't get a lot in, and God knew where Kenny was. When Erwin found out about this, he told his father and they set up a charity fund for them. That's when Kenny came by in his run down truck, mooching money, food, and care from his sister. 

He wasn't there to care. He was there to steal and then leave. But this stay lasted too long and the drop in money started to mystify the Smith's. They were raising quite a lot in such little time for the young boy and his mother's visits, so where did the money go?

Erwin first accused Levi of lying and that was the first time he broke down in tears after yelling, saying everything in one minute than he could in an hour in a counselors office. That night, papa Smith and his son showed up at the door and the adult had a calm chat with Kenny as Erwin distracted the other two.

Kenny left with a broken nose and empty pocket that evening, and Kuchel treated the blond man's bleeding knuckles. Erwin and Levi sat in the small room designated as the bedroom and played several games that the blue eyed boy found entertaining and the other found the flaws in.

Over the next few years, going into high school, the roof of Erwin's house in white suburbia turned into the main spot of talk, gossip, and deep conversations as they both stared up at the stars and dreamed. It was always after papa Smith went to bed, and after Levi made sure his mother took her medication and was sleeping well.

After Kuchel was clean of cancer, the Smith's hosted a small party to celebrate with plates of food and bowls of ice cream. They were really too nice, and Levi's curious eyes and mind lead him to asking about mama Smith late that Thursday night when he and his friend were stationed on the roof again.

Erwin was silent for several minutes, head against the wall behind him and his hands on his knee that was pulled close. ''She's in jail now.'' he found out later that she was the cause of the scar hidden beneath his blond hair and the marks put unnecassarily on his back when his father was at work.

They graduated high school together and ate at the nearby diner with Erwin's proud father and Levi's ecstatic mother. This sent them both to seperate colleges, and when the raven haired man graduated, he found out that Erwin had left to go join the military after the relationship between he and the woman he planned on marrying ended before either of them could see each other. 

He came back after training was over, and it wasn't as long as a time as Levi had expected it to be, but Erwin had a buzzcut and was built like brick wall when he saw him next. As he later found out, his friend had joined the military to get his mind off of his past and the things done in high school. He had gone to hope that he would be distracted from the marks on his body that he had left behind on himself purposefully in his most pain filled year of high school when there were constan trips in and out of the hospital for him.

It was two years before Erwin arrived back, hair longer and eyes filled with heavy feelings, eyelids drooping, and body holding itself differently than it used to. He wasn't the proud and dreaming boy that would lay beside him on the rooftop at night. Instead he was tired and never wanted to go anywhere.

At the barbecue thrown at papa Smith's house, his arrival had been planned as a suprise and the barbecue to celebrate papa Smith's twentieth year of working at the esteemed school. It was filled with tears and soon Mike had to take over the barbecue, one of Erwin's friends from his early years at UCLA that Levi hadn't met until the month before.

Levi felt that he, papa Smith, and Mike were the only ones that noticed the change in him, but no one else said a word, simply partying and getting drunk on cheap beers and eating too much red meat for their own good. He didn't approach Erwin about anything until the next week when they had scheduled a run in the vast park. 

It was one of the rare untouched areas of the growing city that hadn't had construction companies trying to build anything there or people calling for ''rejuvination'' which really meant tearing everything apart and building more large and overly expensive houses in its place. 

Instead, it was protected under the Humane Rights Organization of the city hall in the capitol of Sacramento. A few places to park were put in, stone benches, wood benches, bridges, and bathrooms were most of what was put in in the more scenic area. But Erwin and Levi went to run in the dusty trails and areas where shade was scarce.

Stopping by the river that flowed through and that people swam in sometimes, Levi drank his water and then asked about what hapened to Erwin out in the battlefield. He simply answered with ''Things, Levi.''

Levi told him to tell him when he was ready. 

Erwin's mood started to go downhill from there and whenever he tried to organize something with him, he was declined and the other line hung up before he could say anything more. When he told Mike about this, he was informed that the same thing was happening to him and papa Smith found out that Erwin had began to drink whenever he had night terrors, which were often than most.

He survived that, like he survived everything else, and got a job in a large company that dealt with the incomes of the high and rising building companies around town. It paid well and Erwin was getting better since his regular visits with the doctor, or at least that's what he lead on in the several months.

But when the final news came around, Levi tripped over his own feet while running and skinned his knee when Hange revealed the news, obviously against Erwin's will since they kept sending messages to each other at the same time. After he limped back home and treated it before covering it with a bandage, he met his friend at Sonic and was dumbfounded at how easily Erwin could say what he had to. 

Throught all the things that he had survived through, cancer may be the thing that killed him. Over fries and a milkshake, Erwin began to explain how he had managed to get liver cancer.

''It's from when I began drinking,'' he started, playing with his plastic cup filled with dairy products. ''The doctor told me that I've developed it from drinking too much and that there might be an unseen tumor somewhere as well.''

He said it so casually, like the topic wasn't about life or death. ''What else did he say?"

''That I have another appointment in a week or two so we can get things covered and see how far along the cancer is.''

''What could this tumor do?" Levi asked.

''Potentially kill me. But he didn't say if there was one, just that there could be a chance of one. Also, it may be a type of liver cancer that has started in another area of my body before it showed signs. That's the most common.''

Levi nodded, still questioning how he could be so calm about the situation. ''Is there something I can do to help? Ease something for you because you're sure as hell not showing worry about this.''

''I'm fucking terrified.'' Erwin said with forced laughter afterwards. His laugh showed he was scared and backed up his words. ''But come with me to the next visit. I've pushed you away too much.''

It wasn't seen as a bonding time in the small waiting room or in the examination room. Mostly Levi telling Erwin to stop playing with the items on the walls and to get the cotton balls out of his nose when he kept putting some up his nose in boredom.

Eventually, Levi had to pull cutips from him and throw them in the garbage before a knock could be heard from the door and the doctor stepped in. With his mint shirt and white overcoat, he asked for Levi to step from the room before he started examinations.

He was let back over and he opened the door as Erwin was pulling his shirt back over his head, the hints of new scars on his body. Levi sat in the chair earlier and so then again started the round of telling Erwin not to play with things.

The doctor came in, asked if it was okay for Levi to be there and reported the news. Stage four liver cancer. His hair would start to fall out in the next month or so and he would have to get to the hospital to start chemo in less than two weeks or it could be fatal.

Erwin left with the tired look in his eyes and they sat in his car in silence. ''I guess I should get a power razor, shouldn't I?" he asked and Levi looked at him before giving a silent nod.

They went into the closest store after Erwin brought himself to start the car and drive and wandered before he got near to the razors.

Erwin Smith had walked through hell and come out the other side commenting on what could be done to help the weather there, that was him. And now a form of cancer was going to kill him. He debated prices for half an hour before Levi picked one out and pushed it into his face, telling him to buy one or he himself would soon die of boredom.

Back at papa Smith's house, he waited on the couch beside the older man for Erwin to finish before he stepped out with a buzzcut. It didn't look too bad, though really, any sort of hair would fit him, and if he went bald, he would probably just buy a toupee.

Levi laid beside Erwin on his bed that night, staying until his friend fell asleep after a weak ask came from the blond for him to stay for a while. The dark haired man looked over at his friend to see if he was asleep yet.

His eyes were glistening and tears were falling silently, the fourth sign of true fear of what was to come. 

''Hey, Erwin,'' he set his hand against the newly shaved head and rubbed it until he felt a burn. ''Is it breezy with this now?"

He got him to smile and laugh before he sniffled. ''Yeah, it is now.''

''Good. At least you won't be burning in the summer time.'' he pat his head a bit. ''You're gonna be okay.''

Erwin escaped death enough times, he could do it again.

~*~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its the first day that Levi spends to try and give Erwin an entertaining time before he has to go into chemotherapy and before the darkness of the situation really has to begin. Erwin's health, both physical and mental strain on him, but there's enough to do to distract him.

Eating fatty foods or drinking alcohol wouldn't be the best idea in Erwin's case, so he had to cut back on the fast food and barbecues and eat mainly greens. He wasn't favoring this idea when Levi came by with a blender and a bag filled with the necessary items for both cooking and smoothies. Erwin hovered around him like a fly, looking over his shoulder and picking things out of the bag and sniffing them before grimacing and setting them back down.

He looked like a disgruntled baby more than anything, and Levi made him sit on the barstool to stop irritating him. Erwin watched as Levi cut up his favorite fruits and tossed them in the blender, followed by leafy greens and some almondmilk.

Levi pressed a button and it whirred to life, liquifying everything in the matter of seconds before Levi turned it off. He struggled to reach one of the taller shelves, but brought a large glass down and filled it with the drink before turning to Erwin and setting it in front of him. 

The blond spent a full minute staring at it and contemplating something before he took a sip. Fear left his eyes and he seemed to rather enjoy it as he sucked it down and leaned against the counter. ''How have you been today, Erwin?" 

''Tired.'' he had probably spent the night worrying, like Levi had. ''A lot of things I have to sort out for the hospital.''

No doubt the company he worked for would give him shit for the days off he would need to take. They'd probably fire him and find someone healthier with better qualifications after they stop paying him. Erwin knew this, they both knew this.

''I've set enough money aside, which was meant for other things, but I imagine its close to what I need to stay alive for the coming cycle.''

''You could have phrased that better, Erwin.''

Erwin smiled and leaned back, finishing off his smoothie. ''I've also been told to avoid manual labor or running if there is a tumor, so any sort of work could kill me.''

''I have been... Wanting to clean your house for a while now.''

Dying wasn't the best word there. Erwin had been in his fathers house until high school graduation where he and Levi went off on a small road trip for the summer before they left to their colleges, Erwin at UCLA, and himself to Berkeley and after that time and his sudden deployment into the army, he came back and continued living there, struggling through what he had potentially seen. 

Once he had began working, he always set a sum of money off to the side, much as his father had done when he began his first year teaching at the esteemed campus. Twenty years later and he could retire early, despite the payoff in court and giving half of the donations to Kuchel's chemotherapy.

Erwin was of course not so lucky. What had he done to have such a life? Been too kind as a child? Too innocent looking?

If there was a God up there, Levi thought of it as a sick bastard that didn't know what he was doing. Kuchel hadn't yet been informed on Erwin's case. Kuchel worried enough about her part-time job at the esteemed five star resturant, she didn't need to be worrying about Erwin as well. Levi always thought of papa Smith as the father he never got to meet, and Erwin thought of Kuchel as the mother he never deserved.

No matter what happened to one of the four of them, they were always worrying together like a family.

Levi informed Kuchel later that evening over tea. She worried as much as he did when it came to situations involving the Smith's. If it weren't for them, he would have been in foster care and she would have been cremated with her ashes spread elsewhere.

They were the only way the two of them had survived, and the only thing that stopped Kenny from mowing through to steal their hard earned few dollars. Erwin had gone with him to the dump of the trailer park Kenny lived in and took whatever he bought with the money he had stolen back and sold it all, coming together to be able to pay for either Levi's college tuition, or a new home for his mother.

Kuchel decided where this money went, and of course it was her son before her, and directly after that was a large anyonymous donation at her door the next day, which both knew was from one of the blond men.

Now, it was there chance to give back what they could for all the donations and offers given by the two. Kuchel could give advice when it came to chemotherapy, and keep Erwin's hopes up as Levi helped his father with money and distracting Erwin from the case at hand.

In the middle of the next day, Levi took his friend out to the park where they ran usually to walk beside the lake and feed the geese that dwelled there. Ducks and some mutant looking creatures followed them as well as they carried their bags of bread with them.

They sat on the bench together with an army of birds around them, occasionally tossing food out to them in silence that Levi broke, cool air growing around him. ''When was the lat time you did something fun?"

''That's an odd question to come from the most unsocial man I know.''

''Seriously, Erwin. Like the last time you went on a date. You haven't since Marie, have you?"

Erwin leaned back with a sigh and tossed a piece of bread out to the geese which fought over the offering amongst themselves. ''After Marie, I didn't know what to do. I grew lost and confused. I thought joining the military would do something and after that I knew that an everyday person wouldn't be able to stand te amount of problems I had and still hold.'' he set his hand in his lap with his fingers loosely around the neck of the bread bag. ''Marie loved me through the guilt I unfortunately carried with myself. I let her see the real me, which is a weak man unable to take care of myself. But I pushed it to the point where she had no other option than to leave. She couldn't put the weight of my own struggles on her shoulders and continue to love me anymore, even after I promised I was trying to grow better.''

''If you're with a person thats not willing to listen to your problems, then I don't think that's a healthy relationship.''

''That's the point though.'' Erwin said, relaxed on the wooden bench with the geese at his feet. ''She did listen, and tried to give ways to help me. But through it all I knew she wouldn't be able to stay by my side. I knew that I wouldn't be the best for her, for anyone. She left to find another man and I went home after graduation to go to the military where I just hurt myself further.''

The scars on his shoulder proved a past of negligence to his own well being. The scars on his mind were from other things entirely. ''You went into the military hoping it would distract you. In the end you saw what war was really like. And you survived all of those things. Now, we need to find you someone that would be able to spend a lifetime with you and help you through the things you struggle with.''

''Sounds lovely, but who knows how long I have left.''

''That's the point, Erwin. You could live until you're ninety-two with the person who loves you and think back on this conversation and think 'hey, Levi was right'. Or wallow in self pity when you're ninety-two and say the exact same thing.''

''What about a dog, I could get a dog instead.''

''Dog's can't take care of themselves and I know how much you hate aid from other people.''

It caused Erwin to feel like he wasn't enough to take care of his own well being, like he couldn't live on his own and function like a person in humanity. To him, he was being babied and cared for, to everyone else, they knew he needed this help and tried to in the most shrouded way.

''What's your plan then, Levi? Go up to a girl and say 'my friend has cancer and is dying at an alarming rate-''

''Erwin for fuck's sake I'm trying to make you have fun before anything major happens.''

There was no point in trying to ignore what would no doubt come his way. With how far ahead the cancer was, they would need to start quickly. ''And what are your ideas? I can't drink, eat specific foods, work too much. What am I expected to do? What do you think I can do?"

He hadn't gotten that far. ''We could go to a few clubs but the rule is to not drink. There's fun things to do without pushing your body beyond what it is capable of doing.''

''I've never done mini golf, now that I think about it.''

''Then we'll go do mini golf.''

Levi was determined to make his week before having to go into the hospital for treatment a good one. ''What about bumper boats? Do you think I'd be able to do those?"

''Yeah, I don't see why not. We'll get Mike and Hange to go too. See if they can bring people.'' Levi met Hange in his third year at Berkeley, a fanatic arts major that was all over the place and was only ever under control when Petra was around. Hopefully Petra would be able to go to these things as well, though she ran her own business in the center of the bustling state so schedules might be tight.

Nanaba he knew would try her best to go wherever Mike was going. He met Nana in his senior year of high school when the two top schools competed for title of best soccer team. It was all gender teams and Nana the captain of the other team was happy to share the title of winner with them, the two tying. 

From then on, he kept in touch with her and when he met Mike, so did she. From then on it was constant word from them both about each other. 

Hopefully, Hange wouldn't talk too much about why they were going anywhere, and wouldn't be grim. He knew they were all good enough at acting like nothing was wrong, but he also knew that Erwin had the eye of a hawk and looked through these facades.

~*~

Levi organized for that next day for everyone to be at a specific address. The play place was meant for all ages and every attraction was worn down with the beating sun in the summer and the relentless rain in the winter. He could almost remember when the rides were new, and when the green carpet laid out was a dark green instead of the pastel it was now.

The rides were a reminiscence of what used to be, and the paint peeling off of buildings and fences proved just that. At the end of school every year, Levi would break in after the employees had gone home and the guards gave up caring. 

He dragged Erwin along after senior graduation. It was two in the morning and the blond had ripped his shirt when he struggled over the fence. For such a young man with such an athletic reputation, he rally didn't live up to it in some cases.

It was quite far from Erwin's neighborhood as well and Levi remembered how frightened he was about the police coming. They had ended the night by sharing a can of beer and left it in the high reaches of a tree. Levi always wanted ot come back, just to see if it still sat up there.

His feet crunched over spilled popcorn as he walked to meet with Nana inbetween where the batting cages were and the race track. It was open fake grass there with stained concrete benches and no shade from the sun, but Mike was already getting a head start in doing things. 

When Levi appeared, he received a quick hug from her and saw Mike swinging a bat a the softballs that came his way. ''When is Erwin supposed to get here?" she asked, fanning herself. 

He had incidentally chosen the hottest day of the week, ninety-three compared to the usual seventies and low sixties the counties had been experiencing for the springtime. But at least Petra was more than happy to let there be a pool party to cool down afterwards.

''A few minutes.'' there were two parking lots. One by the main enterance that buses for school groups parked usually or minivans filled with families did as well. There was also the small parking lot on the other side that was meant for employees and reserved parties. Erwin always parked there, and it was the most rebel thing he had really ever done.

Levi noticed him walking past the faded pirate ship that swung back and forth, a group of teens screaming as it grew higher and higher each time. He walked past the roller coaster with a look before meeting his friends. 

Nana hugged him and when he hugged back she seemed to grow lost in his arms before he pulled away. Mike finished his batting time and headed over, doing the man-hug before convincing Erwin to bat. Baseball was the sport he was best in, always. 

He had started in little league in fourth grade and competed in games and joined teams up until the end of high school. Erwin usually ran home runs and once dreamed of getting into the major leagues, he told Levi this after a win at the home stadium.

But he was far more interested in other things since he brought up statistics of injuries suffered in major league baseball and the length of the career an average player had before a new person was brought in to replace them. He still had the skills though, and all through high school the younger kids in the street tossed it to him occasionally.

He brought a total of seven gold trophies to his schools and the one he earned in senior year was given to him alongside his diploma. Getting that thing into the trunk was a difficult task given it's size. So when Erwin pulled on a used helmet given to him by one of the employees there, Levi and the other two sat to watch. 

Erwin picked up a bat and stepped inside the cage, swinging it a bit before he stood in perfect posture. He always grew deadly concentrated when he played games, no matter what sport or even if it was Wii sports. The blond was there to have a good time, and most of all, win.

The first ball shot towards him and with a clang of the bat, it flew out and over the cages where the machines sat. He hit the next five that came his way before he missed one and had to stop. When he stepped out, he pulled the helmet off and wiped his forehead before sitting down, rather roughly.

He looked exasperated, and immediately Levi stood to get him a water. He found one at the vending machine beside the arcade, which was surrounded by kids of all ages, screaming and yelling. He moved around one and waited for the machine to take his dollar.

Ten minutes later when it finally swallowed it up the water crashed down into the mouth of the machine and Levi jogged back over with it. Erwin ripped it open and gulped it down quickly, eyes shut as he let the water cool him down. 

The green canopy over them and the cement walls were the best shroud they could get in the entirety of the amusement park, besides the overly air conditioned arcade. Levi wondered how well Erwin would do throughout the heat of the day and at the party later if he was exhausted already.

Cancer he knew stole a lot of energy from its hosts. His mother was constantly tired and unable to work, yet again all thanks going to the Smith's for their kind behavior and charity to them in their most trying time. But he also knew that Erwin wouldn't have a job for much longer, the company was ruthless. The CEO cared about money and making sure his employees brought it in. If they were unable to work, they were fired. There were enough reports in the news about how hard the situation was for women that needed maternity leave and then time after to take care of their babies. Most of these mothers were fired after being gone for what the CEO considered too long, and it turned into just another company run by racist white men.

Erwin didn't fit in well there, not as much as people had expected him to. He had worked for his place in the company, unlike he other men that bought their places. The other young people around him were the children of the older people within the company, and he was surrounded by generations of bigotry and never allowed their words to get to him or try to change his point of view. Erwin was never a hateful man, and he never let himself be one. He was considered one of the poorer in the company, so Levi was left to question the looks and remarks he would receive if he ever stepped foot in the building.

''You doing okay there, eyebrows?" he asks, Erwin opening his eyes and nodding. Then it struck him. ''You know how fucking weird you're gonna look without your eyebrows?"

The remark makes Erwin chuckle, and its genuine. It makes even the other two laugh a bit before Hange arrives and practically tackles the blond, Petra a few steps behind. ''Hello, Hange, loosen up there a bit...''

Levi and Petra hug briefly before they begin. Hange goes with Petra and Nana to mini golf, and the other three wait until they're further ahead to start their own round. They witness Hange incidentally toss their golf club over their head before they begin.

Mike's up first, and he's using a child's club since the woman at the desk ran out of adult sizes after giving one to Erwin. He scored a hole in one before they continued. The course was altogether nine holes and they had managed to launch four of the balls into the little pond beside them before they finished the fifth hole.

This was when it took a turn. Erwin had been leaning heavily against his club without saying anything for the entire time and by the seventh hole he began to show severe signs of fatigue. He wasn't standing well and they weren't in a great place to lean on anything without breaking the weak and faded plastic props around the course. 

Levi made him sit down on the wooden track to keep the balls from launching out, and Erwin fell back. Immediately both Mike and Levi were by his side and helped him to sit up, Petra who witnessed it rushing over with the other two behind her.

Erwin looked dizzy and laid his head on Levi's shoulder. ''Jeez, Erwin, what did I tell you? Tell me when you're tired.''

''I'm sorry,'' he said, lifting a hand to rub his face. ''It was all of a sudden and I didn't know what to do.''

Mike stepped back and took the other three with him, standing further away to give them both privacy. The one other person that knew how much Erwin hated being fretted over was Mike. He had been his dorm mate for a year and became his friend for the next two, being there from the beginning of the relationship between he and Marie to the end.

He also knew how much Levi and Erwin meant to each other and how crucial conversation was between them both.

''Is there something you need?" Levi asked and Erwin lifted his head, wiping is forehead of sweat.

"After this, can we go to the arcade?"

''Yeah, sure. We can get water and food in there.''

There were several dining areas situated around the park, the main place of food within the arcade. It was split in half, one side play and fun, the other a buffet with booths and tables. The food wasn't great, too be honest it was horse shit, but the curly fries were at least something.

The group finished their games of mini golf before heading inside the wooden and stone building that stood out compared to the buildings surrounding it. The park was placed beside the airport and garages meant for fixing cars, trucks, and usually buses. 

Inside, the air conditioning was a blessing and Petra went to sit. Mike and Nana went to play games and after Erwin ate something and washed it down with half a bottle of water, Levi dragged him around to do things.

It was always the opposite when they were younger. Erwin dragging Levi around to have fun in arcades, in malls, and now those places were flipped. He could find it humorous if the reason wasn't because Erwin's mental health was deteriorating because of the cancer within his liver.

Levi found the basketball game, both lines open and ready to play. He handed a cup of tokens to his friend and set his own beside him before they both grinned and began to frantically push tokens in the machine. The barriers were lifted and the three basketballs on either side rolled towards them.

They competed to see who could get the most wins before the minute timer was up and so far, Erwin was of course winning. Levi kept bouncing them off the backboard and the one time he tried using the hole in the roof of the game, it bounced off the ring and into Erwin's instead.

Erwin laughed loudly, and among all the shrieking noise within the arcade, it was the only thing Levi bothered to listen to. He knew he may not hear it much anymore.

Levi considered the day succesful besides the scares at the batting cages and at the golf course. Erwin ate a salad bought from Save Mart on the way home and fell asleep as the car reached the driveway into the vast neighborhood.

He drove around in circles, which then brought attention from a paranoid middle aged woman, and Levi drove to papa Smith's house. He parked the car and helped the sleepy man up and inside. Getting him up the stairs to get him to his bedroom was tricky, but he got him sprawled across the bed before he removed Erwin's shoes.

The dark haired man gave a rub to the shaved hair of his friend before making sure the window was locked and flicked the light off behind him.

Day one was completed, and Levi hoped the next would be better.

~*~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi takes Erwin on a road trip accompanied by Mike and Nanaba, a quick visit by Hange and Petra. He realizes how much Erwin is hurting, more than he thought he was.

The next day Levi's on the phone with Erwin in the morning and his friend informs him as he's making his breakfast that his father wants to drive him to his next check-up. Levi has no problem with this though does have a request.

''Ask the doctor what rides youre able to go on and what ones you're not.''

The other line is silent before Erwin speaks finally, though carefully. ''Why?"

''I'm planning something, just ask him.'' he hears Erwin audibly sigh on the other line before he lets out a reluctant ''fine'' before the conversation continues. He can hear music playing in the background with papa Smith singing along finally and the smile in Erwin's voice could be heard after a few moments.

''My father and I are going to go see a movie afterwards and then cruise around the mall. I'll call you when we're done with everything.''

''Have fun, Erwin.'' Levi says and the call ends soon after.

He spends his time getting ready to visit his mother and is at ease with the idea that Erwin and his father were going to spend quality time together. The trip over is fifteen minutes, and the wait for his mother to finish her shift is thirty. 

She should have gotten off of work long ago, but they kept pulling her back to get her to do more just so they could rip her off of what her pay should be. Kuchel was always a hard worker, and she rarely got recognition for it. Levi greeted her with a store bought cookie, though it was her favorite and a hug before they left in his car. His mother didn't allow donations from her son and his home well paying job as an archeologist for PG&E. He had gone to Berkeley for anthropology and the job best suited for him in his hometown was the current one he held. If workers had to dig to put wires down, he was the person that was called if there was any sign of cultural recognition in the land there, Levi showed with his tools to check and see if the land was important previously and he had to write a report to the headquarters. 

It paid well, and he wasn't seen very often. His job practically paid for him to sit on his ass all day since he wasn't needed very often. At this point in life, he was set for retirement at his young age, and still his mother denied any charity. He wanted to give something back for the hellish years of his childhood that she managed to live through on tight cash and a mooching brother that only came whenever she told him something good happened in her life. 

Kenny came when money was involved, or food, but Kuchel always gave it to him. She told Levi that it was the right thing to do, that he needed it more than they did. Bullshit, it always was, but she was frightened of her brother the same way she had always been frightened of her parents. Kenny had developed the mannerisms of his parents and Kuchel had developed the mannerisms of her grandmother that died when she was just seven years old, leaving her nowhere to go.

Now, Levi could give something to her, could buy her a house if he wanted, help her ease into retirement. But she was a strong, yet stubborn woman when she wanted to be. She was too nice to accept such large donations anymore, and the only reason she didn't fight against the Smith's offer was because of Levi.

She listened to her scared little Levi then, but wouldn't listen to her now grown son. He had explained numerous times that he had enough money to live off of, and that he could afford his apartment's rent each month and the payoff of the car plus food, water, and other things. But still she was headstrong and living in the run down apartment complex. He was going to do something about it soon, and she would have the best retirement.

Currently, he was driving and listening to talk radio as his mother gossiped about the gossip that spread through work. She always had something to talk about, whether it was the snobby cunts that ate at the restaurant, or the snobby assholes she had to work with. The place really was over the top and expensive, so it made no sense to Levi why she didn't get paid as much as she needed to. Her hours were few and scarce, but one day of work made up for the week she wasn't given at times.

''How's Erwin doing?" he knew they would end up there.

''Good. He's spending time with his father before I take him somewhere for a few days.'' 

''Ooh, and what's this surprise?"

''A roadtrip somewhere for four days. It'll be relatively calm and when we get back, he'll have several days to spend with his father before he has to go into chemo.''

''Didn't you say he was visiting his doctor today?"

He nods and turns the blinker on as he turns the steering wheel into the left lane, coming to a rolling stop at the lights. ''He's visiting with his doctor today to talk about his treatment options and how far along the cancer may be. Also to talk about previous medical problems he has suffered with. He said he'll call me later, so after I talk to him I'll inform you and then worry about how you're going to get to and from work.''

''Honey, I told you, Beatrice is more than happy to be able to take me.''

His lips turn into a sneer and he begins driving again. ''I have an odd feeling she doesn't like me.''

''You threw the neighbors cat at her when you first met her.''

''Wasn't I three?"

''Yes, but, that's still not a good thing to do.''

''She didn't wipe her shoes off at the door,'' he says and smiles softly before his mother smacks the back of his head softly. ''Ow!''

''Oh hush, it didn't hurt.''

Levi sat with his mother for a few hours at her apartment, and saw how well of she made herself appear to be. Despite the reports of drug abuse, alcoholism, gunfights, and gang related deaths in the area, she really made it look like she lived in a smaller version of the surburbian houses on the other side of town. She had fixed up the paint herself and had hanging flowers around her house. A wall of black and white pictures of she and Levi from the past added onto the modern feel and she always kept up to cleaning her kitchen. Everything shined, everything looked nice, but the water rarely ran and the neighbors downstairs enver turned down the music or stopped breaking bottles.

Kuchel did what she was alway good at. Making the best of a shitty situation. Levi had no idea where he got his personality from if that was the case. 

He kissed her on the cheek and received a warm hug before he left her to her night. He walked to the car and heard glass shards beneath the tough soles of his shoes before he opened the car door and sat inside. Erwin called just as Levi was getting inside the house and he answered immediately.

''So?" was the first word that left his mouth.

''Hello to you too, Levi. I'm on a good track so far with payments for chemotherapy and other medication, and he said no roller coasters until they can check my body properly for tumors.''

''What about the log ride at the boardwalk.''

''He said its fine, as long as I'm sandwiched inbetween two people. What are you planning?"

It was another case of roles being flipped and Levi was the one that was scheming under Erwin's detection. ''I'm taking you, Mike and Nana to Santa Cruz and then the Monterey bay aquarium.''

''Levi...''

''We can look at fish and shit and then eat some fish later.'' Erwin laughed and he heard shuffling on the other line before he let out a sigh. ''Big arcade there, too.''

''You know how much I like arcades.''

''It'll be, hopefully, fun.''

~*~

The next morning, bright and early, Levi drove to the Zacharius household and woke them both. He came inside and started making hem breakfast, leaving a half asleep Mike dumbfounded at the door and Nanaba came sliding down the hall armed with a backscratcher as Levi began crashing around in the kitchen.

He made them pancakes and eggs before he checked the time and rushed to get to Erwin's. Traffic was piled up and he set his chin on the steering wheel, letting out a groan. The morning news was dragging on and Levi  near fucking cheered when the cars in front of him began moving again. Upon arrival to the Smith household, he found the door open.

Walking inside, he wiped his feet on the mat and kicked his shoes off before going to the kitchen where he found the two blond men conversing in the kitchen beside the sink. Erwin had a look of pure fear and sadness on his face, his father beside him talking in a quiet tone.

That wasn't his place to be, so Levi stepped back and let them talk privately. He stood outside on the concrete patio of the house, pulling a piece of gum from his pocket before he found it was his last piece. He held the yellow wrapped candy inbetween his fingers before slipping it back into his pocket. 

The houses all had perfectly green lawns, besides this one. There was a few patches of yellow grass, and a broken small flamingo decoration on the front lawn that never moved from its spot since the seventh grade. Was a mystery to Levi how it survived with just a broken foot in the years it stood there. He and Erwin had kicked soccer balls into it numerous times, tripped over it numerous times, and once even backed the car over it. Though still it stood. It was a strong as the men that lived in the house it protected. It was the older Smith that greeted Levi with a smile and brought him inside, offering french toast to him and some tea. Mr.Smith was the only other person Levi had met that had a good taste in tea, and was actually the person that had gotten him so interested in the drink.

Levi declined the food and drink when he found out that Erwin wouldn't eat it, wouldn't eat anything that morning. His father explained that his son was scared of what was to come, and that he himself was hoping the trip to Santa Cruz would distract him enough before he settled at home and got used to the idea of having to be in the hospital. When Erwin did finally come downstairs, Levi said nothing and slid his half full plate of eggs and toast to his friend. There was no discussion as he ate it. 

Mike and Nana came around, receiving hugs from papa Smith and little gifts of candy before they started on the road ahead of them. Erwin rechecked to see if he had all his medication and Levi rechecked under his nose before they started off as well.

He tapped on the radio and they listened to early nineties rock as they drove through the downtown area to reach the right highway. ''Are you excited at all?" Levi asked.

''I have to be careful about what I do, pull myself back, keep myself under control,'' he answered, chin in his hand as he gazed out the window. ''I know this is to have fun, and I don't want to ruin the fun for everyone else, but honestly. I'm on a tight leash like I'm a child and its my own fault.''

''Erwin, you were in a dark place at one time. You coped and then powered through it. Neither of us knew you were at a high risk of liver cancer-''

''But I did it, I knew there would be health problems but I did it to myself anyways. Like the other things I've done in the past. I worried everyone, I hurt everyone in some way before I turned my life around and became something for myself and now everyone has to watch what they say and baby me, and for fucks sake all I want is to eat a cheeseburger!''

''And you will eat a cheeseburger after all this bullshit is cleared, you understand me? And drink beer, swim, go fucking sky diving or some shit. You're not going to die because of this cancer because you never allowed yourself to die beforehand, you understand?"

''Yes...''

''All you've been through, this is just another bump in the road. You're young, you have a life ahead of you. Shit, Erwin, you aren't even thirty yet. We always said we'd reach ninety-two together, and that's what you're gonna do. No dying bullshit, you're staying alive if you like it or not.''

''Does it mean cheeseburgers?"

''Yes, Erwin, that means cheeseburgers.'' Levi knew that despite how his friend responded to him, he had let the words settle in and was thinking them over. For the next half hour, Levi drove on the freeway past crop fields and abandoned looking houses, finally passing the milk factory which was his landmark for the trip. 

They ended up in little city of Los Banos not soon afterwards. Los Banos survived simply on the cars that drove through and the tourists moving from destination to destination. It was a windy town and nothing looked too pretty, but people survived well enough on the part time jobs placed there. Los Banos is a town saturated with people that think high school are the best years of their lives. They think that the amount of alcohol they drink is indicative of how cool they are. This town is small, close minded, and inbred. Located in the San Joaquin Valley, Los Banos enjoys hundred degree summer days. Often called "The Bathrooms" because of a rought translation to english. This however is an insult to bathrooms, as nothing is shittier than Los Banos.

And that's where Levi and Erwin met with Mike and Nana at a Chevron gas station, Hange driving up as well with Petra in the car beside them. The six of them went inside and found snacks, Erwin reluctantly having to buy trail mix as Hange bought the most unhealthy things they could.

''Would even a hot dog not be good?" Levi heard Mike ask him and he appeared like a ghost at their sides. 

''Do you trust a gas station hot dog?"

Erwin looked inbetween his friends before mumbling and moving to buy drinks, abandoning the hot dogs behind. Mike smiled and bought one for himself as Levi bought a bag of chips. They were all back on the road again, and the rest of the ride drew on and on. 

Levi looked over after two hours of driving and found Erwin asleep. He had curled up earlier but struggled to find a proper place to lay. This was where Levi noticed his legs. The hair on them was much thinner, his shorts revealing that much, and as he looked closely, he found it was the same on his arms. His hair was already beginning to fall out. 

He was angry at himself for not noticing earlier. It was probably why Erwin was so damn sad this morning when he arrived. Levi's hand tightened on the steering wheel to the point his knuckles grew white and his jaw clenched in his anger. He was supposed to look out for this sort of thing, not be worrying about the cost of gas on the trip over to the house they were supposed to be staying in.

Erwin snuffled awake when someone honked their horn in the car beside their own and Levi handed him his water. ''Hm, where are we?" he asked, turning the cap.

''Five minutes from the house. But fucktruck in front of me has decided that he needs to change his tire in the middle of the road.'' the blond pushed himself up and adjusted his seat back into the proper place as he smiled at the scene in front of him. It was exactly as Levi had said, a man changing his tire in the middle of the road.

They were eventually able to drive around and they pulled up in front of a decent sized home where they carried their bagagge inside and to the designated rooms that Levi had left Petra in charge to organize. There were three bedrooms, and it looked like two people would have to share each one, though two couches could be pushed together to form a bed as well. Levi took the couch bed since he would wake up earlier than everyone else and let Erwin have the bedroom to himself.

Everyone retired to their rooms to grow comfortable after the exhausting road trip. He could hear Hange snoring from there and Mike as well. Levi checked on each person within the next hour and found Erwin asleep and shifting occasionally in his sleep. He was also in a position where his face was stuffed into the pillow and Levi lifted his head carefully to adjust the position. Erwin moved quickly, slamming Levi up into the wall and pinning him there. Eyes went wide and ever so quickly the blond began apologizing and asking if he was okay. 

Levi pushed his hands away and answered with a nod, speechless and unable to bring himself to say anything more. He could have said something before he left, could have motioned that it was okay or at least hugged him, but he left him in silence in the bedroom, though Petra was looking out in alarm.

The others left their rooms when food arrived and the tension between the two old friends could be felt from miles away. In the morning, Hange and Petra left to go visit family and the other couple watched television inside. 

Erwin was outside exploring the neighborhood and going for a walk, Levi going with him with his hands deep in his jacket pockets. Neither of them spoke halfway through the walk before Erwin grew tired of the silence. ''You have questions for me?"

''Yeah...'' Levi admitted. ''Why did you react how you did when I was in your room?"

''I felt someone touching me. It was my instinct to fight back. I learned it in the military and it has become an issue for me. I react like an idiot when I have night terrors, or flashbacks.'' he wanted to ask what flashbacks, or what the night terrors were, but it didn't feel like it was his place.

These could be about his mother, or the time in the war, either way Levi didn't know if Erwin was ready to talk or if his heart could handle it. Anyways, the day was supposed to be fun and they were going to go to the boardwalk for the first time in more than ten years.

The last time they went, it had been for Erwin's birthday. But when his other friends found out Levi was going, they chickened out. Levi thought the blond would be angry at him, or tell him to never see him again, but instead Erwin bought him a hat at the boardwalk and garlic fries. 

They piled into Levi's car and he drove them to the boardwalk before buying everyone tickets. They started with the space race thing where they bumped each other in fluorescent light and crashed constantly. Erwin was smiling the entire time and so Levi forced himself to have more fun though the belt around his waist felt too loose. And for the sake of humor, they went on all the kiddie rides. Watching grown men over six feet trying to fit was the best thing Levi had seen all month, but everyone else was amused with how well Levi fit in everything. 

Levi and Erwin got in line to go on the Ghost Blasters ride as Mike and Nana got in line for the roller coaster. Erwin seemed to have fun there as well, but stumbled on his way out. Levi got him sitting down, conviently beside the log ride and sat with him.

''Are you feeling alright?" he asked, eyes trained on every movements of Erwin's. 

''Suddenly dizzy again.'' he said. Levi wondered if it was a blood pressure issue, but Erwin would have been told if he suffered any issues with that among the pile of other things he had to worry about. ''And hungry.''

''We'll find you something. I think they were planning on going there after the roller coaster anyways.'' Erwin always loved thrill rides, the feeling of being on the roller coaster. He was the one that would always rock the ferris wheel seat when Levi went up with him and Levi always hated him for it.

He got garlic fries, hoping they wouldn't upset Erwin's stomach or liver too much. The way his friend shoveled them in was like an animal and Levi made him pause and appreciate the food so he didn't give himself more tumors.

Erwin was much more careful and his excitement died down quickly. He abandoned the table and the mostly full container of fries as Mike and Nana arrived and Levi ran after him down the boardwalk. The dark haired man soon became trapped between overweight older couples, small children, and greasy teens. He couldn't very well see much over the heads of people, but followed booth signs and other things to the bathrooms where Erwin would no doubt be.

And that's where he found him. Beside them, more of, puking into a trashcan in a hidden corner in a painful looking way. The grip on the sides of the can caused his knuckles to turn white and he was leaning heavily against it as he brought up the food digested today, followed by the food he ate yesterday.

If it weren't for Levi standing there, he would have probably collapsed and caused a panic. He was held up and gripped Levi tightly, panting and shaking. The day's festivites were cut short and back to the car it was, all air vents on Erwin plus Nana and Mike trying to fan him from the back seat.

He didn't make it to the bedroom and instead collapsed on the couch after he got a tall glass of water in his system. Levi wasn't convinced that Erwin was okay, but was convinced that it was his fault for the painful looking sick that came up.

His friend had used the days strength for that and ended up hurting himself as well. Tomorrow, they would drive to Monterey Bay aquarium and then the hotel before heading home the next. So far, it wasn't turning out so good and his plans were going to shit. 

Nana was showering and Mike was in the bedroom he shared with the other, Levi plopping down on the couch with the remote in his hand. He pulled Erwin's legs up on his thighs and his arm rested against them as he flipped through channels.

He turned subtitles on as the blond snored beside him and watched some game show. Erwin stretched his legs and it snapped Levi from his dozing off. He was semi-awake, the ex-soldier, and waved softly with one hand as he rubbed his eye with the other. 

''Does your stomach hurt?" Levi asked.

''My throat burns,'' he answered in a gruff tone. ''And don't blame yourself, please. Its the stupidest thing you can do.'' Levi knew that sentence meant more than it was thought out to be.

~*~

The drive over to the aquarium felt longer than it truly was, and once here Levi tossed his bags into the trunk, far more careful with Erwins. They had lost Mike and Nana behind an RV but the girl knew where she was going. It was Erwin who flicked the radio on and played music off of his phone. 

''So with the garlic fries yesterday,'' Levi started, wanting to better understand what happened. ''Was it because of the amount of grease or the garlic that caused your body to react like that?"

''No, the speed of how I ate them.'' he drummed his thighs to the current solo. ''There was a sudden bombardement of greasy food in my system. I should have eaten them slowly but I instead shoved them all in. It was my own fault, not yours.''

Erwin knew that Levi blamed himself for things he couldn't control. That was his nature after Kenny convinced him at a young age that he was the reason for Kuchel's poverty and slaving away, and that his father never loved him. So he blamed himself for it until he was at an age where Kuchel could explain ths situation to him without having to censor her words or avoid important parts. He was the best thing to happen to her torturous life, but he still blamed himself for actions that happened to other people.

In high school, when situations became worse for the blond, Levi was never able to take a break and talk to him. It was directly from school to work, and on weekends it was work all day. He had to do what he had to do in order to bring in enough money for both he and his mother to survive on, even if that meant selling pharmecutical drugs in the back alleys without the Smith's knowing, but even then he felt guilty for not being able to listen to his friend when he was needed the most. Levi thought that the reason Erwin had to get his stomach pumped was his own fault.

It took a long time until the guilt wore off and he began to listen to the explanation given by the blond, but still after he felt a twinge of sadness and dissapointment in himself. It was a bad habit, taking on the worlds problems or thinking it was his fault for things he couldn't control.

To have it cemented that it wasn't his fault was a blessing by Levi's standards. Even though it never came off as much, communication between he and other people was key, especially between he and Erwin. Small talks gave him life and when someone looked like they actually wanted to approach him and have a nice conversation with him, he talked. It was rare for him growing up, meeting a person that wanted to talk to him and wanted to know him better.

But now he had his best friend, that he may incidentally lose. Thinking about it made him angry, frustrated that he couldn't do more than take him to a few places before he had to spend months in chemothereapy with medication being pumped into his arm as well. Erwin was always so strong in his eyes, no matter what, but the coming image of him was the weakest he might ever be.

He wasn't gripping the steering wheel, but he pressed the pedal down and speeded up, the engine revving. ''I know this is frustrating, Levi, I know you want to do more about it. I do too, I don't want to be weak like this and be stranded in a hospital bed unable to have visitors.''

Levi let up on the gas and went back down to fifty. He wanted to say more but was unable to, unable to piece something together. 

''But I know I'll be okay. I have you, my father, everyone by my side.'' he continued and set a warm hand on the dark haired man's shoulder. ''You're all I've needed to stay strong, Lee. And this trip means more to me than you can imagine.''

He didn't want the trip to get heartfelt, especially in the car. Maybe in the hotel where they could leave to get a breath of fresh air and seperate for a while, but in the car he was stuck and unable to go anywhere, especially if Erwin wanted to talk about his feelings. He'd listen, but who knew how much he'd be able to help.

Luckily enough all Levi had to do was nod and pat Erwin's hand before they left each other to music. They stopped at a Jack in the Box parking lot to stretch their legs and use the bathroom, checking in with the other two before heading over to the aquarium. They got in faster than Levi expected them to, fortunately enough with Nana's passes, and headed inside.

They huddled together and started making a plan. ''Do you want to split off in seperate directions or stay together?" Mike asked, slipping his wallet into his back pocket. 

Erwin was hugging himself in his hoodie and was waiting for Levi to make the decision. ''No, you decide what you want to do, I'm fine with anything as long as I'm not abandoned.'' too many times of being caught in the whirlwind of crowds and being stuck behind everyone else. 

The blond thought for a moment, shivering though they were in the heating. ''Let's all stay together,'' he said and Levi took a step closer, leaning against him to see if his own body heat would warm Erwin any further. ''We should finish with the gift shop.''

So Levi lead them all, Mike and Erwin talking in the back as Nana commented occasionally on the animals, the informational signs, or the people surrounding them. He kept taking precautionary glances back at the two taller men to make sure they were still there and didn't disappear off somewhere, but Erwin's mood seemed to go down each time Levi checked.

Stopping in the jellyfish exhibit, they were surrounded by blacklights and glowing flurouescents. Levi and Erwin's shapes were shadows among the glass and blue walls as the jellyfish within glowed orange. ''You okay-''

''Yes, Levi, I'm fine.'' he snapped. 

''I was checking behind myself to see if you tall fucks were still there, don't lose your temper at me.'' he felt ashamed for saying it in such a way; Erwin couldn't control the dissapointment he felt in himself when others wanted to take care of him. ''I'm sorry...'' Levi said, looking down, eyes moving to Erwin's hands to find them loosening from fists. 

''I can't help it sometimes,'' he answers and immediately the blue eyes move up and to the other, finding the sapphire eyes filled with sadness and anger. ''Can't help feeling weak... Sometimes I want to be the soldier in training I was once again, just to feel the adrenaline and to feel like I'm on top of the world, but now- he lifted his hand and his fingertips gently brushed against the glass. ''But now I'm scared. I'm weak.'' his voice was barely above a whisper.

The blue light shadows the chiseled face and it makes him look engulfed by another time. His eyes are still swimming in memories an obviously so is his mind. ''I left to the military to think I could become stronger, and I did, I achieved what I wanted but I forgot what came after. What was going to happen no matter what I did to avoid it. We were sent to do a scouting mission, training more like, but before anyone could see it coming there were gunshots all around... I had made myself stronger by leaving home again and training, the training made me feel like something. But I had gotten a taste of war.''

''...and what is that like?" Levi asked softly.

''Blood. Pain. War is over-glorified, just as you said.''

Levi's eyes flicked from his eyes to his fingers on the glass. Erwin was tilting his head slightly as he watched the jellyfish, which were now gathering closer to his hand. ''I still don't understand why I thought like I did. Hopeful young man with too many dreams.''

''Jesus, Erwin, you're barely even thirty. Stop sounding like your fifty and going through your mid-life crisis.'' he only half meant it.

Erwin opened his mouth to say something but shut it again, both of them knowing that whatever he was originally going to say, he would have to eat his own words. He replaced his words with ''You're right.'' and continued watching the jellyfish.

''I...'' He was just going to continue what he had been saying the past several days, and he was tired of hearing the words come out of his mouth. He had explained how he felt about the current situation, he had said he wanted to help and Erwin knew this. It wasn't anything new and now Levi was going in circles and sounded like a broken record.

''Did I explain how Marie and I started dating?"

''No, you were too excited about telling me everything about her.''

Erwin had called one morning to tell Levi how he was doing, and instead it turned into a twenty minute conversation about Marie. Erwin had sounded like an excited little kid the entire time, and honestly, Levi could barely understand half of what he was saying and was sure several times he had switched over to German. 

''Nile and I went to go bar-hopping and I met her in the first bar we went to. And God was she gorgeous.'' he was smiling a little when Levi looked at him but it faltered a bit. ''We still stay in touch, we did while I was in the military.''

''And how is she doing?"

''She said that she and Nile would delay the wedding until after my treatment.'' 

Levi could feel his heart sink at the words. ''You actually agreed to go?"

''I want her to be happy, and I've been Nile's friend since first grade, how can I not?"

''Don't tell me you're going to be best man...''

''No no, even they know that that's taking it too far. I will be for Mike one day, and hopefully for you. I guess its more hopefully for the both of you.''

He elbowed Erwin's side softly. ''Shush. You know what you said in the car, and you're going to stand by it.''

They were both quiet again after that, the luminescence casting beautifully across both of their faces as they stood mesmerized by the jellyfish. Erwin couldn't control if he died or not... He knew it.

''I had to bury some of my friends that week... The week of training.'' the blond suddenly said. ''We weren't able to take them back home...'' he traced something out on the glass, softly, though his finger was barely brushing it. ''I didn't know how to tell- anyone about what happened when I came back. My father knew I wasn't okay immediately, and I knew both you and Mike knew as well. Nothing gets past you and he can sniff something out.''

''Were they remembered properly? Were the people that passed away given a proper burial?"

''They're belongings did, but it wasn't them. In the sand we gave them what we could before they were given anything in their hometowns.'' he finished the writing on the glass and Levi realized he wrote out several different initials. 

''Then that was all you could do.'' he didn't want to look at Erwin, didn't want to see those pools of fear, the pits of despair. ''Erwin you couldn't have done more.''

''I could have expected it. I had to lead them in, it was my job.''

''You lead them into a training excersice, you couldn't have known what lay at the end. You told me that blaming myself for something I couldn't control an was the worst decision I could make.'' he turned his head to look at him and his fingers brushed against Erwin's before he held his hand and squeezed it. ''I want you to know that as well.''

The squeeze Erwin gave in return felt like it could crush his fingers but it showed he needed it beyond belief.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terrible at summaries, aren't I?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friends finish up their trip in Monterey and buy things from the gift shop, Levi and Erwin do shit, and a trip to a gay bar begins.

The sea air was lovely and cold, Erwin wanting to step out and watch the water for a while as Mike and Nana wandered the deck there as well. Levi waited on a cold bench further back from him, simply watching and trying to understand the change in his body movements. 

Like the day he had come back from war, the way he held himself was different. That day his shoulders sagged, face looked heavy. Today was the same, but more like he was giving up than trying to keep his shoulders and chin held high. He had lost his hope, alongside his pride, and that much was evident in how heavily he leaned against the cold metal barrier. His knees looked like they wanted to give up and in all honesty Erwin seemed like he could fall over at any moment. 

In the light of grey clouds and dark water, the small freckles could be seen scattered across his nose and cheeks. But it also showed the hollowness in his cheeks and the sharper angles developing in the rest of his face and probably body.

Erwin had been worrying again, deeply. The trip was meant for fun, but that was his specialty, worrying. Worry about the weather, worry about his job, worry about what others thought of him. That was his bad habit that he had no control over. He was still the second strongest person Levi knew, his mother of course coming in first with a flaming lead.

Kuchel understood Erwin's childhood when his father left for work, but unfortunately did not receive the sanctuary that he did when his father figured out the terrible situation. 

He was a God in Levi's eyes, one that he thought was stronger than anyone ever prayed to. He was never religious himself, but hoped there was a sanctuary at the end when his mother was first told she had breast cancer. He did still, but never prayed. The only reason he still hoped was because of the fact he clung on to the idea that in the end, both Kuchel and Erwin would be at peace, better in death than they could get in life.

Levi saw Mike and Nana wandering back over before he turned his eyes back to Erwin, who was still watching the water. Since the first time he met him, the blond talked about the ocean. About boats, about wanting to work on a boat, being in the sea, his drawings of fish and mermaids, even mermen, Erwin dreamed it all.

His room at the time had a color scheme of how it looked underwater and he had little figurines of boats and sailors with fishermen and plastic sharks. He talked dreamily of the times he and his father went out to go fishing but instead sat in the boat and appreciated the lake up in Erwin's hometown. 

Erwin had come from the mountain town forty minutes away from the current tiny city he lived in after they won against his mother in court. They had lived in a family friend's house, which was Nile's home, for a month and a half before they found a new home and moved there, which resulted in the current house the Smith's occupied. He still loved it up there, Erwin, all the pine trees, the occasional snow storms, and the tight knit community of redneck assholes. But that was home to Erwin, but also incidentally Kenny.

Kenny had lived up there after his search for his sister that left home went to shit and he stayed in a trailer in an illegal spot off a trail of someone's driveway. His name was known throughout the small towns and houses inbetween Coarsegold and Oakhurst because he always caused trouble at the casino and the bar that sat inbetween.

When the Smith's found out Kenny had close relation to Kuchel, they knew what he would try to do and that's when papa Smith chased him out like a dog. 

He had always been hard to read. His face showed smiles and happy times, but the brilliant blue eyes hid every emotion within and also held back whatever was going through his mind. It took Levi a decade to be able to crack through Erwin's facade and finally read him, and that was all thanks to the bond they had together. Currently, Levi knew his friend was struggling with something and he baited him back inside with the promise of buying him something nice from the gift shop.

Smith stood close, hands deep in his hoodie pockets with his back bent and feet moving loosely. His cheeks were starting to sag with how much he was frowning, and Levi reached up and pushed the skin up. ''Oi, don't be a grumpy ass or I'm not getting you anything, understood?"

Blue eyes slowly rolled to him and they were back to the deep pools of worry. The shining light was temporarily gone and it caused Levi's heart to ache terribly. The only reason Erwin was smiling now was because of Levi's fingers pinning the skin up. The threat of no toys wasn't changing the situation, obviously, and he let the skin fall, adjusting back in place of a deeper frown, near pout.

''Don't give me that look, you grumpy shit.'' Levi said

''That's a lot, coming from the man that earned grumpiest of the year award.''

''That shit wasn't even an award, it was a stupid piece of paper given to me by the principal in junior year because he thought I should smile more.''

''Yeah, but he was right, you should smile more.''

''I'm not smiling until you smile.''

So then Erwin smiled. Awkwardly. And in a rather creepy way. His lips were forced up and the disgust of what he had to do was shown in his eyes. But Levi followed, in the exact same way instead he looked confused on how to do it.

They tried lifting their lips higher, showing more teeth, anything to try and make their smiles look more believeable. The two were so dedicated on making themselves look more ridiculous in the center of the bustling crowds that they didn't realize that Mike and Nana were standing next to them.

Those two were cringing and waiting for them to stop, more hoping for them to stop and eventually, Erwin started laughing. It replaced his moody behavior that had been taking up time for the tour around the aquarium. Since the conversation in the jellyfish exhibit, Levi had been wanting to achieve that feat and he finally did, making him feel better about himself and the rest of the day before he lead them in to the gift shop.

He stayed mainly by the front entrance and let the other three browse. He had promised Erwin he was going to buy him something, so he waited for him to choose as he meandered with Mike, the two obviously talking about something and Erwin did his little head click. It was a habit of his when he wanted to shrug an accusation off and he always had a little smirk when he did it. Levi remembered him doing it since freshmen year and he never grew out of it.

Levi checked his phone for messages pertaining to the conversation between he and his mother and found a heart emoji from her wishing him a good time at the aquarium. He picked up a little decoration for her keys and thought the little octopus would suit it well. When he looked up, Erwin was standing in front of him with a large otter stuffie in front of his face, covering his nose and mouth. His eyes were big and hopeful, and a little bit of shine came back to them. ''Please?" he asked softly, muffled by the fur of the otter.

''How much?" 

Erwin checked the price tag, breathing in a sharp breath. ''Do you have a price range? Is there a range I can't go out of?"

''One hundred dollars. Nothing here is worth one hundred dollars or more besides the live animals.''

''Well, good, because this is sixty five.''

''Erwin...''

''You said you'd buy me whatever I wanted.''

''It's like two feet tall, what are you going to do with this thing?"

''Compare how big it is beside you. Cuddle it, love it, make it my friend.''

''Fine, I'll buy the damn otter.''

Erwin followed like a pleased little kid up to the counter and Levi handed over his credit card to the woman at the counter, leaning with his elbow against it and looking up at Erwin with a half grin. ''Who needs a sixty-five dollar toy otter?" he asked and laughed softly.

''I do, obviously.'' Erwin was smiling as the otter was handed back over to Levi and it was stuffed into the blond's chest. 

He hugged it close and Levi slipped his card back into his wallet before meeting back with Nana and Mike at the exit. They both complimented the otter and pat it, the three discussing what they bought before a toy jellyfish was set on Levi's head, an item Mike had bought. 

They discussed where to go in the main lobby as Levi pulled the jellyfish off his head and tossed it into Mike's face. ''Isn't there a frozen yogurt shop close by?" Nana asked and leaned into the taller man beside her that was trying to get what she bought out of her bag. 

''Ooh, ooh, lets go there!" Erwin said. 

Erwin lead the way, far more excited with the otter under one arm and his health seemingly coming back to him compared to the day before. He slowed when they stepped out into the cold, but still kept up the rapid excitement, all the way up to the door where he pushed the door instead of pulling and slowly opened it. 

He let his friends go in front of him and stood beside Levi. ''What can I eat here?" he asked him. Levi had accidentally become his health coach since the information came out that he had liver cancer, so he was now trusted with what was best for his friend during this trip. 

''It's all greek yogurt. I don't think it would have that terrible of an effect, just that you'd have... Terrible gas. Since your liver can't entirely do its job how its supposed to, I don't know how well this will be digested.''

''Oh...'' Disappointment dripped from Erwin's word before he piped up again. ''They sell hot chocolate. And tea!"

Mike and Nana waited in one of the yellow and white booths with their yogurt, Erwin joining soon after with his hot chocolate. Levi waited for his tea to be brewed, looking over his shoulder at his friends. Nana was trying to scoop up her yogurt with the miniature spoon available as Mike listened to his friend, highly concentrated on Erwin's eyes. Erwin was going on about something, excitement steaming off of him. So he was distracted. Good, that's what he had been hoping for since they started on the road three days ago. 

But once he arrived at the booth, it died down, Mike stealing some of Nana's yogurt and Erwin taking a long sip of his hot chocolate. Levi sat down, paranoid, and sipped his tea, looking inbetween each person that avoided his eyes. But Mike began talking about what they had seen at the aquarium and soon the tension lifted. That man had a way with words, and with his nose. He could sniff information out of a person as well as keep them calm. He also didn't give false hope in bad times, didn't say much reassurring, but still found a way to lift the mood. That's why Levi liked him, he didn't try to make something that wasn't there. 

The walk back to the car began and Erwin was at least warmed by his hot chocolate, but seemed exhausted. He took turns leaning on each person back to the car, and Levi had to deal with him putting his full body weight on him, seemingly for the sake of his own entertainment. He struggled up the incline with a two hundred plus man pulling him back down. In the car, Erwin used the otter as a pillow and napped until they arrived at the hotel. It was closeby to an outdoor shopping mall as well, which was convient for business if tourists were staying at the nearby hotel.

He poked Erwin's cheek to wake him before he stepped from the car and checked in at the front desk. He checked out the large windows that reached from the floor to the ceiling to find Erwin stepping out and struggling to get the bags. It was really only two bags, one duffel bag of Levi's belongings and Erwin's old backpack. Knowing Erwin, they had probably caught on something and he was going to keep pulling until something ripped, even if that meant a muscle.

Levi got the keys to the room and jogged over to the car before unhooking the bags and picking up his own. He was independent with his things, and like being that way, but sometimes that independence made Erwin feel unneeded. 

''Hey, Erwin,''

''Yeah?"

''Thanks for getting the bags out.''

Sometimes even the smallest of things made him happy. Mike and Nana were waiting on the stairs up to the second level and Levi tossed the keys to the woman and she started up them. He had gotten one room with two seperate beds, and knew sleeping next to Erwin would probably be a nightmare. In one room with three other people was a nightmare altogether though. Mike, he knew snored, Nanaba he knew talked in her sleep, and Erwin snored too. But night terrors might present a problem that night as well, unless he was up to date with his medications. 

He himself liked to hog the bed if he had the chance, he liked to stretch out. But Erwin was near twice his size and heavier than him, so they might have to fight for the blankets and for space on the mattress. The bags were all dropped by the door and Erwin went to pee as Mike launched himself onto the bed he was going to share with Nana, completely sprawled out so she had nowhere to lay if she was exhausted herself. But she thought around it. She turned on the television, sat in the space between his legs, and laid her head back on his ass, using it as a pillow as he laid on his stomach. She folded her hands and set them on her stomach as she watched COPS.

Levi sat on the bed and shuffled through the nightstand to make sure there weren't any belongings of the last person that was in there. Once he found a stack of twenty dollar bills still sitting in the bottom shelf of a nightstand and from then on let his curiosity get the best of him while in hotel rooms. Erwin stepped back in the room and sat on the bed to remove his shoes, letting Levi use the bathroom for a short while. He used the toilet, cleaned his face and hands, and then let it be vacant for the other two.

Nana stole it and Mike was falling asleep. Later, he convinced them to walk down the road to a pizza place where three of them agreed to get one pizza and he was left to figure out Erwin's case.

''How did your stomach do with the hot chocolate earlier, Erwin?"

''Not well. I think the dairy really hurt it.''

''Hm,'' he crossed his arms and thought. ''Maybe no dairy would do the best for you as well. Lactose free things.'' Erwin groaned softly. ''I know, I know, but your liver is slowly failing and eating the crap you're not supposed to won't help. It's either lactose free or you have to sit and watch us eat our pizza.''

The blond reluctantly gave in and Levi ordered the healthiest pizza there was, which wasn't that difficult in the area to do. It was small, but the ingredients took up half the time to put together. The larger one arrived before Erwin's and then they all began to eat. 

Over that meal, he got to get to know Nana better as the two other talked and laughed. She talked more on how she and Mike met and that was all that really stuck in his mind. Her smile and eyes brightened at the idea of it and she laughed softly when talking about the embarassing things that laid ahead in the story. 

Overall, he thought of her as a nice person, and in all honesty, if Mike liked her, he did too. She was a good friend and showed her concerns. She wasn't afraid to put her voice out there, but also knew when not to speak on specific subjects. Soon the pizza was gone and Erwin had finished his own and they left a tip before going back to the hotel.

Walking up the steps to go to the second level, Levi noticed Erwin deep in thought again. ''You want to go for a walk later? Just before we rest for the night and have to sit in the car for several hours tomorrow?"

Erwin nodded. ''That sounds lovely.''

Nanaba showered and Mike was in his pajamas and sleeping when they both stepped out in the cool night air. It was nice outside, air was clean, and Erwin took in a deep breath as he followed Levi down the steps. They walked to the beach, which wasn't that far, and walked along the sand. ''Did you have a nice day at the aquarium?" 

''It was great. A nice calm way to end the trip before I head back home and rest.''

''Good.''

''This trip really means a lot, Levi, more than you think. It helped me get my mind out there a few times. I never thought I'd talk about it in the aquarium.'' By 'it', Levi knew he meant the scouting mission incident. ''Or any public place, really. Surrounded by so many people at one time that would be able to hear me.''

''It was calming, despite that crying baby in the background afterwards.''

''Yeah,'' Levi looked over to find Erwin cringing a bit. ''I don't know how well I'd be a father. Crying babies and things... I was always told I was great with kids but I think that's just for a limited time.''

Levi breathed out a laugh and grinned. ''Same here, same here.''

''I think you'd be an amazing parent, just in a different way.''

''You'd be a stereotypical suburban dad.''

''I would?"

''Erwin you wear socks with sandals.''

''You have a point there.''

''Build decks and things.''

''I don't- no, I don't want to build decks. But I have been thinking on building a house.''

''No decks, but when the idea of a full blown house comes up then yes, you're ready.''

''I mean after chemo. After this hellride.'' Erwin tossed a rock into the waves. ''Make something for myself, show that I am strong and that I am capable of doing things. Not to prove to anyone but myself.''

''You could build a house. But where?"

''There's enough land up for sale in the abandoned areas. I could fix up an abandoned house, too, one of those out in the country side.''

''That would be nice.''

''You think I could do it?"

''I've never doubted you. Besides that one time you squirted wasabi into your mouth.''

Erwin shivered at the thought of it. 

''But definitely, you could do it.''

''Were you planning anything more before I left to the hospital.''

He shrugged, leaning back on his hands. ''I had been planning on taking you to downtown and going through the clubs.''

''You're still confident on finding me a woman before I go into chemo?"

''No, not necessarily a woman per say.''

''You were going to take me to a gay club?"

''Sometimes you got to keep your options open, man.''

Erwin was highly entertained by this idea. ''I've never been with a guy before.''

''Maybe you should try it, just this once see.''

''Because I would only have one last chance?"

''No, you fuck, because it might be funny as hell seeing you flirt with a guy.''

''Might be?"

''Probably will, but I still think we should go anyways.''

''You mean to FAB?"

''Yes.''

''I thought that one got bad reviews.''

''No, that was Legends. FAB is the calmer one and I've been told they have good drag shows.''

''By who?"

''I read reviews on the internet.''

''Do you mainly want to go because of the drag shows?"

''No, because of you. I want to see if you do any better with the chance with a guy than a woman.''

Erwin chuckled. ''You know I'm not sure about it.''

''It's worth a try, come on.''

''I'll make up my mind by the time you drag me out to go.''

''Good,'' Levi laid on his elbow, looking up at Erwin. He was deeply watching the water. 

''I missed the ocean so much while I was deployed. Two years spent in the desert looking for someone we had turned into our enemies. Too many people gone. It seemed more logical to put the two men that started it into a fistfight and see who won.''

''It must have been tight-knit there.''

''It was. Of course their were enemies, vendetta's against each other sometimes, but when one person was lost, everybody mourned. Each person was important, everyone taught each other things that we didn't know before hand. No matter what they did, they were still human, and still very very young.''

''But on free times, there must have been some good jokes passed around.''

''Sex jokes, mainly. Most men were deprived of sex and privately doing anything was hell to try.''

Levi watched the reflection of the moon on the water. ''I can only imagine how much of a struggle you had.''

''Oh, screw you, Levi.'' it was half hearted and Erwin laid back on the sand. ''What time is it.''

He checked it to find it was past eight. ''Eight ten.''

''What time do you want to head back?"

''Well, I wanted to leave early in the morning so you have more time with your dad.''

''Then lets get going.''

The walk took longer on the way back, but it was mostly them smiling and making jokes. They snuck in silently and Levi changed into his pajamas as Erwin stripped down to his underwear in the dark. He slipped in underneath the sheets after his friend and laid with his back facing him. Mike was snoring, Nana was muttering something, and not long after they said goodnight, Erwin was sleeping as well.

Levi drifted in and out of sleep, sometimes shifting a bit as he did so. He checked on Erwin to find him sleeping, but twitching oddly. It was just an occasional twitch, but Levi kept watching him over his shoulder with a confused look, trying to see better in the dark and his half asleep manner. 

Quietly, Erwin said ''Papa'' in his sleep, like he was starting a conversation. Levi thought nothing more of it and laid back to fall asleep again. He woke to Erwin crying it out at three in the morning and instantly both he and Mike were moving to turn the lamp on. 

Turning back, he found Erwin upright in bed, sweating and panting. His lips were chapped and his face was pale as he tried calming himself. ''Nightmares?" Levi asked softly and Erwin nodded quickly, swallowing thickly. 

Nanaba filled the empty water bottle on the nightstand to half way and handed it to Levi before she got back into bed, pulling Mike down with her. They both stayed awake until the dark haired man lulled him back to sleep. It took a while, lasting to a quarter 'til and Levi felt exhausted. 

He set the water back on the nightstand and reached for the light, looking to Mike and Nana before he flicked it off into darkness.

The next morning when everyone packed their things to go, Erwin was silent, but no one persisted. Levi packed the things into the trunk and rolled his shoulders, feeling them pop. Before they started on the road, they were going to stop by the mall and see if they could grab something to eat. 

Levi parked convienently beside Mike's car and they stopped by a cafe. Erwin slowly ate a crossiant, being careful as everyone else ate as well. It was directly home from there. Stopped at traffic lights in the literal middle of nowhere an hour later after they talked and listened to an album and a half, it began,

Bohemian Rhapsody.

Instantly Erwin started singing and Levi hummed along so he could appreciate the others voice. He had been in choir since elementary school, and in the rare times he sang, most around stopped to listen. Levi drummed along on the steering wheel and kept glancing to Erwin as he air guitared his way through the boredom in the car. 

Each high and low note was hit perfectly and they were moving rapidly in the car to the song. Levi struggled to keep his eyes on the road and mirrors, mostly wanting to watch Erwin, who was smiling along. They both began yelling it instead of singing, leaving behind all worries and doubts within the drums, guitar and beautiful voice in the song. 

Levi went along with the piano keys before Erwin hit the dashboard with the palm of his hand to the drums, both men still singing, and screaming, along to the music. Both were smiling wildly, and probably looked insane to any person that may have passed them on the road.

Erwin's voice couldn't reach as high as he wanted, so he screeched the end of some lyrics and Levi lost his shit from then on, struggling to continue singing. The blond continued then onwards to air guitar, getting lost into it. 

''SO YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP ME AND SPIT IN MY EYE!" both sang, the volume going higher and Levi continued with hitting his ''drums''. As it slowed and then faded, Erwin calmed, smiling brightly and his friend. 

''You feelin' good?" Levi asked, meeting his eyes briefly.

''I'm a little light headed but despite that I'm doing fantastic!"

He didn't want to kill the mood or disappoint Erwin, but a cop had been following them the past three minutes. Levi said nothing and eventually it passed them, officer glancing to them before revving off. 

''It must suck to be an officer out here.'' the blond said.

''It pays better than the minimum wage jobs in Los Banos.''

Finally they were at the half way mark, the windy city and Levi desperately needed a pee. He was against the idea of using any restroom in the town, but in all honesty, was fucked either way. He gave in at a Starbucks where Erwin decided to buy a smoothie and it wasn't as bad and torturous as he had expected it to be.

His shoes stuck a bit to the floors as he left.

~*~

Both were restless in the last fifteen minutes of the drive and both were exhaused as they arrived to the house. Levi drove slowly past the kids playing in the street and parked in the driveway, seeing papa Smith desperately trying to grow his grass back, but he abandoned the hose and came running up.

Erwin was hugged and Levi shook the older man's hand before being invited inside for a cup of tea. He followed the taller two inside and took a look back at the plastic flamingo on the front lawn before he shut the green door behind himself and locked the brass lock. He removed his shoes and patted inside on the beige carpet, feet cold on the white tiles as he moved to sit on the barstools as Erwin went upstairs to put his medication away.

Papa Smith always enjoyed speaking with Levi, and since he could remember, he had always been spoken to like an adult by the other man. Talking to an eleven year old like he was a man to his own age must have been odd, but he realized Erwin did the same as his father. It always made Levi feel better about hiimself when he was younger and small. Felt like he truly was someone to be respected in his time of growing older. It was never an obstacle, the age difference between the two, and papa Smith never pulled out the excuse that Levi was younger when it came to conversations. He was talked to like he was a grown man, even when he barely reached puberty. 

The older Smith he knew originated from Germany and had come over to the U.S. for the main fact of travelling the world, but had fallen in love with a woman and had Erwin with her. His parents were still in Görlitz Germany, and he had yet to get back there and take Erwin with him. The last time he got there was when his son was three and couldn't entirely remember who they were and what they did. Skype and Facetime helped, but wasn't the same as being there with them.

Erwin came back down, slapping his hand onto Levi's shoulder and was handed a smoothie his father had premade before he got back from Santa Cruz. These two were ever so kind, and Levi had no idea what to expect about the oldest Smiths.

With a hug and a can of tea, Levi left. He went by his mother's workplace and gave her the keyring he bought in Monterey on her break before she had to go back to work. From then on he went back to his own apartment and climbed the steps up to them with his bag over his shoulder.

He flicked the lights on and hung his keys up on the hook he installed on the door before heading to his bedroom to unpack. After he did so, he fell asleep with his phone loosely held in his hand beside his head, making sure that if he got a notification, he would be woken up.

~*~

Few messages were exchanged between Levi and Erwin those next few days as the blond spent time with his father, it was on Friday when the two really began to get back into the rhythm. Erwin informed him that he had video-chatted with his grandparents to inform them on his condition and that it had been a grim few moments before everyone looked on the bright side of things. That was the Smith way, Levi assumed. But Erwin had grown out of that the past week, and tended to look on the darker side of things. Who could blame him? Followed by death himself and probably the four horsemen, Erwin had given up on trying to see the better outcome of things. That had been handed over to Levi to do, and he thought he was doing a decent job of it.

Levi began making a plan with his friend for that night and they both knew where they would be headed. Hopefully neither of them would get any beverages spiked while out on the town. Downtown wasn't famous for he nicest of people, or the most sane after dark, but it was being ''rejuvinated'' and in a good way. 

New apartments were being built and the old fashioned buildings were being used as offices or businesses. The community altogether was keeping it alive and the theatre from the twenties was alive for the sole sake of charity and occasional indie film screenings that Levi had volunteered to help at a few times, and he mostly turned into the doorman and ripped tickets in half for those that came through.

He picked Erwin up at seven-thirty, rather early but on a Friday evening, everywhere downtown would be packed. Now due to the makeovers in all the buildings, bars, and new ownerships of restaurants, some of those that were newly moving to the more suburban areas wanted to take a look at where it all started. The open-minded and more outgoing were in downtown on a regular basis. They were the thugs of the back streets, artists struggling to keep up with rent, part-time job workers, the LGBT and the inbetween. Mostly those that struggled to fit inbetween crack head and homeless were down there, and the police that made sure everyone was fair were the smarter ones that had been on the force for the longest of time. 

There were large murals on most walls, and the roads were fucked to drive on, but coming off the highway to see the multi-colored lights flashing onto the mural walls was fantastic. Levi parked far away from their destination, knowing parking on the main road would be hell. He locked the steering wheel and car in front of a small grocery store before walking with Erwin down the street. Conversation buzzed everywhere, and some teens were riding their skateboards in the road and getting honked at. Levi had constantly spent time down there with the others, like his friend Isabel. She was in LA now, but hopefully living comfortably.

They were the kids that rode skateboards in the road with joints inbetween their teeth and hung out around the skateboard shop to help promote its business. From what he could see on the other side of the road at the intersection, they were still doing a great job. 

He and Erwin passed the theatre, finding they were showing a film that evening, but passed too quickly for either of them to be able to read it. Erwin seemed excited about the night, and slightly nervous, but was quickly distracted by an argument sprouting up between two people.

Levi pulled him away, knowing he would want to intervene and break it up. But it was downtown, and the two were either high or drunk beyond belief and Levi didn't want his friend to endanger himself like that. When they came across the gay club, it was obvious since the walls were curved and painted multi-color, music thumping and many extravegant persons entered.

Erwin stood with his hands in his pockets and looked up at it, peering in at the large windows. Levi did the same, looking up at the dim lights that lit up the outside sitting area before he looked at Erwin. With a sigh, Erwin started inside, Levi behind him.

~*~


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The few days of harmony end and Erwin goes and starts his chemotherapy. Levi tries his best to continue on and spends this free time with the others before getting a text message from papa Smith that pulls him to the hospital.

Music was loud, people were loud, and it smelled like cheap perfume and shampoo the moment Levi walked in through the door behind Erwin. But his friend seemed pleased and looked like he was making the best of his first time in the bar. Levi followed him to the back of the bar, eyes fluttering over the pink luminescent tables.

They sat in one of the booths and Erwin pushed a menu to him since he himself couldn't drink. He didn't seem too happy about it, most of the fun of going out in downtown was to get shitfaced at bars or at least buzzed, but both knew it wouldn't do well for his body's condition.

Several drinks later and a bit of dancing in the bar, Levi was buzzed and slurred his words a bit as he spoke. He also seemed to get closer and lean more into Erwin as they stood, sometimes pushing a person away from the taller man if they stood too close. 

Smith knew he had the responsibilty of getting Levi home that night, but also knew he didn't have much of a way to get home afterwards, either. It didn't do his father well to drive at night, so he may have to stay at his friend's house for the night, his father picking him up in the morning.

Erwin got Levi out the doors after he cussed someone out and the other wanted to fight, pulling him to the exit. He had a fun night over all, but the most fun would be getting Levi to the car. The other intoxicated man was following close behind, and Erwin put his hand out to keep him back so he could get Levi away and break it up. If the action angered the other, he wouldn't have the energy to fight and his smaller friend would be too drunk to do much.

Fortunately, others stopped the man and took him back inside as Erwin reached the intersection. It was colder out, and he noticed Levi was shivering as he stepped out. He had, as a precautionary step, worn his warmest coat out, and though he was near sweating in it and got a few odd stares from people, he was hapy he wore it. 

He swooped it around Levi's shoulders and held him to his side as he lead him across the intersection, walking back to the car. They passed the restaurants and grills, and seventies looking furniture store before getting near the car. At this point, Levi was fully leaning into the taller man's hip, arms around his waist and he looked comfortable there. 

The next trick was to find his friend's keys. Five pockets altogether, four on his pants and the fifth his breast pocket on his shirt. Shirt pocket held nothing, so it was up to the other four. He saw the outline of Levi's phone in his pocket, alongside his wallet, and turned him to search for the keys. 

He slipped his finger into his pocket and fished them out before unlocking the car and getting his friend into the passenger seat. Inside was like a sauna and he stripped himself of the coat before slipping into the violently uncomfortable seat. This was all because of how close Levi needed the seat to be. 

Adjusting the position took a while and he accidentally sent it back all the way, to the point he was laying down and soon he got it in the proper place. Next came adjusting the mirrors and making sure he could drive. He hadn't in several days and it felt odd to be back behind the steering wheel.

The drive on the freeway was hectic, cops weaving in and out of the dark traffic, people racing past, and highbeams glaring into the rear view mirrors. But finally, Erwin got Levi home. He fiddled with the belt buckled before helping Levi out and he collapsed in his chest, arm trying to drape over his shoulder. The blond lifted him to get him up the stairs since he was being stubborn and got him to his apartment door before unlocking it, trying a few different keys until he was successful. 

It was clean but cozy inside, smelling of Levi. Levi wandered in and collapsed on the couch, Erwin hoisting him up and getting him to his room and pushing him softly onto his bed. He collapsed onto it and the blond smiled, helping him remove his shoes before he pulled him to sit up and pulled his jacket off, letting him fall back again. 

He didn't tell Levi that he kissed his cheek last night.

~*~

The next morning, Levi woke with a hangover and took an hour and a half to roll out of bed. He shuffled over to the bathroom across the hall, pulling his zipper down before the figure in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He looked over, head spinning, and saw Erwin standing there, back facing him as he reached above his head and stretched, yawning heavily. 

Erwin looked over his shoulder at the other male and waved as he smiled softly. Levi waved back, rubbing his eyes before he slipped into the bathroom. When he left it, he found his friend making breakfast with what he found in the fridge, which was usually fully stocked.

It may have been fully stocked on a regular basis, but that was because no-one else ever came over. It was rare when Petra came to visit, and he couldn't remember the last time Farlan was in the states, not working in other countries, teaching English to classes overseas.

So of course it was odd to Levi to have movement in the house, either he'd be sitting on the couch with his laptop, or he'd abandon the house to find something else to do, since he was sitting on cash. He used his time to call Isabel, or inform his mother on his day's events, most times going to open houses to find her a home. 

He peeked around Erwin's arm and looked down at the eggs he was making, which looked nice and were cooked well. Toast was in the toaster, and his friend was also cooking a few pieces of bacon for Levi. The kettle was on and there was a glass of ice water on the counter, a cup of pre-made coffee beside it which belonged to the taller blond. His belt from the night before was draped over the dining chair and his coat was sitting beside it. Erwin had made himself comfortable to wait for the morning. He seemed well rested, or perhaps Levi's eyes were too tired to notice anything more. 

Eggs were shoveled onto a plate beside the few pieces of bacon and a piece of toast, Erwin holding it out with a cheerful smile. The smaller man took hold of the other side of the red ceramic plate given to him by his mother and thanked his friend before Erwin handed him the glass of water as well.

Levi sat at the dining table and soon his friend joined him, passing him the salt and pepper before scooping eggs into his mouth. It was as if he had forgotten about what the day was, or was at least ignoring it before he had to go. There was light conversation over breakfast, Levi occasionally sipping the tea Erwin had made that was a bit too watery but he didn't say anything.

''Did you sleep well on the couch?" he asked, glancing up at the taller male to find him nodding before he swallowed.

''My feet went over the arm rest but it's okay,'' he said, pushing all his eggs into a pile on the plate. ''At least I'm not as tall as Mike, he'd have a terrible time trying to lay there.''

''Well were you at least comfortable?"

''Yes yes, I was fine. Your couch is very comfortable.''

He gave a nod before finishing up his breakfast and emptying the tall glass of water Erwin had handed him that morning. ''No sickness yet?" Erwin asked, watching him.

''My head hurts like hell, but I'll be fine. Do you need me to drive you back home?"

''Nah, I can call my father.'' Erwin stood, collecting the plates and forks and the empty glass and cup before moving to the sink. Of course, he was doing all he could to repay Levi before he had to leave to the hospital. The repitition Levi had known as a familiar condition Erwin had, doing subtle things until the other realized what he was doing. There was no need for it there, Levi had thought about all he had done as a way to re-pay him for the time in middle school leading up into freshmen year.

Erwin washed them all off and put everything in the dishwasher, dropping the forks before getting them into the dishwasher. 

Levi still needed to find a way to repay the eldest Smith. 

''You sure you don't want me to drive you, Erwin?"

The buzzed blond hair shined in the light as he shook his head. ''I'll be fine. I think I'll do better with him driving me there and being beside me as I go if anything, y'know?'' he asked, looking up after shutting the dishwasher door. ''Wouldn't you want your mother to be beside you if you had to do what I'm doing?"

He nodded. ''Of course. Is there a specific time you would like me to visit?"

''Anytime, really. We can catch up about our day's events and things.''

Levi nodded and a knock came to the door. Erwin glanced up and fetched his belt and coat. ''I'll see you tomorrow, Levi!"

He picked up his shoes and opened the door, papa Smith standing there looking solemn before he smiled and waved to the smaller male. Levi waved back before the door shut with a slam.

~*~

For the first time in a week, he had been called to check out the grounds of a house since the family was confident that there were historical structures beneath and around the home. So he drove out to the dead middle of fucking nowhere to check if they were right. It was a thirty minute commute to the fields outside of the city and he found the run down home, pulling up into the dirt driveway and parking in front of the run down home. 

He stepped out and nodded to the workers that were being yelled at by the home owners before he began a full inspection of the grounds and home. With the long field they owned plus how confident they were that it was under their porch, this took an hour to complete, and he found absolutely nothing that would be a threat to historical conservation or the worker's lives. 

A kid came running out with a rusty spike in his hand. ''Mister! Mister! What's this?"

Levi stopped beside his car and kneeled, putting his hand out with a sigh. ''Lemme see, kid.''

The boy handed it over and he looked down at the metal spike, turning it over in the palm of his hand. It was pretty heavy, and instantly he knew. ''Railroad spike. Keeps train tracks down. Where'd you find it?"

The little pudgy hand pointed over across the road. ''I walked with my dad and found it over there!"

''It's a nice find. Maybe you can find more, you'd be perfect for this sort of job.''

The kid's dark brown eyes brightened and Levi mussed his hair before getting into the car, just for the sake of air conditioning before starting the car and driving off. His mind was on Erwin the entire time back to the main city, how he was dealing with the sudden change in his everyday life, how he was doing altogether. He knew chemo had negative effects on the body, then the mind, but he was strong. 

Erwin ahd been to hell and back, he could do it one more time. He'd said that a lot the past few days, but it was true, and he was saying it more to keep himself confident that Erwin would live through the cancer and was confident that the chemo wouldn't kill his friend either.

In a way, the blond saved his life by helping his mother. If he hadn't done so, he would have been stuck in either foster care or in the hands of Kenny or his grandparents that he never wanted to meet since he found his mother crying after having a conversation about them when he was four years old and they lived in the same shithole. 

But he kept asking himself if he was trying to find a way to save Erwin's life. Yeah, of course he wanted him to live, no one wanted any one to die through cancer or the treatments given to fight it, but in a way he wanted to save Erwin himself. Somehow...

Once upon a time, Levi was convinced he could hold up everyone's emotions and save everyone, the others coming before him. He did good for a while there, but hadn't realized how traumatic the situation was going to really be, and in his mind, he failed to save the man who saved him. Erwin.

~*~

It wasn't a subject anyone from that time ever really discussed, since it was so touchy for each person. It was the third time they had nearly lost Erwin. Third? Levi thought that was right. But it was several years ago, so he didn't fully understand why everyone was so careful about it and tiptoed around the idea of conversing about it.

It was the one thing he wanted to talk about, to get off his mind and chest. It left him hurt for seven months until Erwin came back to school, smiling without anyone ever figuring out or diggin up the dirt on him then on. The scars on his shoulder were thought of as some other accident since he wasn't the most graceful, or perhaps a time he may have gotten into a fight. The people at that school really were fucking stupid despite what the awards and the overly confident fat cunts said.

He wondered where they were now, but then couldn't care less. They treated him like garbage, and the first one to treat him like an actual human equal was of course Erwin. 

What had he done to deserve such a terrible, terrible life? For his mind and body to be fighting against him, and the others in the world. He deserved nothing but happiness, and that had started until the word of cancer came. 

Since then Levi had been reflecting back on everything that had gone on through their lives, everything Erwin had walked through, had torn through, everything he had made into just another regretful memory. Strife was a reocurring word within the two's vocabulary.

Life was always a subject that was discussed. Plans for the future, or until one of them accidentally got themselves killed at a young age. That's why they had both been forced to promise to one another that they would live until ninety-two. Not any specific reason for that age besides the fact that they could live and retire with their families, maybe even become great-grandparents.

They had joked that their kids would play together and that there would be generations of little black haired kids playing with tall blond kids. But yet again it was just another dream, perhaps another promise to not be fulfilled.

But there was never, never one time either of them broke a promise to one another. Erwin promised to live, Levi promised to actually find a partner, and these would be more promises to keep. 

~*~

That very next day was the annual pride parade and festival that he knew both Hange and Petra would be going to alongside Mike and Nana. Levi went to get his mind off the fact he hadn't received a message from either Erwin nor his father. It was loud, and energetic, also hot and near reaching ninety-five at just ten in the morning. 

Levi gained a bracelet and a crushed bag of skittles from the parade, plus Hange tied his hair around a pride flag. He looked ridiculous, but his friends were having a good time. Petra and Nana watched Hange during the festival that took place afterwards, and both women were heading directly for the taco truck, Hange getting distracted by a tortoise. 

Mike hung around Levi during that time and they both glanced at pamphlets and stalls, watching their brown haired friend walk beside the large toroise before they were instead distracted by the overwhelming smell of food. Of course the route to food and most of the shade was cramped and seemed to be going nowhere as people stopped to talk and eat. Nana and Petra got through without a problem, bringing Hange with them, though the two men stopped and waited at the other end, preferablly in the shade. 

Downtown was nice and energetic, the more outgoing civilians lived there, or mulled around there. Pride parade was always expected and was always joyful. Especially the four guys that walked around in speedos.

When they were sitting on a curb, waiting for the other three to round back, Mike leaned over to ask him a question over the loud music playing and the loud buzz of conversation. ''You hear anything from the Smith's?" he asked

''No, not yet,'' Levi answered. ''I'm guessing Erwin's still... Adjusting to his first time in chemo and I've been hogging him the past week so his father is giving silence as well. He's far more concerned and worried about his son.''

Mike gave a nod. ''Derby's tonight, you comin? It'll get your mind off of things.''

''That's tonight? Ah, well I guess I'll go.'' not like he had anything better to do.

''It'll be good to see you. Moblit, the referee, he's been wanting you to ref with him since the new season started.''

''Me? A ref?"

''You were a damn good soccer captain, so I've been told.''

''That has nothing to do with roller derby, Mike.''

Mike laughed, leaning back into his spot. Not soon after, the three arrived with food and Hange had a peacock feather. They ate and paraded around a bit before finally leaving, all going to the same parking lot that was usually empty. 

''Levi said he'd go to derby tonight,'' Mike told Nanaba and she smiled.

''Great. I missed you there, Levi.''

''Yeah yeah, get a bruise tonight, for Erwin.''

Nana laughed as Levi climbed into his car before he started it, waving to everyone and turning the air on high before driving home.

Derby started at seven but it was best to get there early, so Levi left around six. An hour too early but he had no way to avoid rush hour and downtown traffic. He got there finally around six-thirty since he had driven down a wrong road and had to avoid construction on what felt like each and every road. He had to park down the road and walked to the bout. Rock music and the roar of motorcycles alongside the smell of diesel set him in a good sort of mood. Even though sometimes it meant memories of Kenny, it also meant derby bouts and hard hits. 

Levi hadn't gone to one since after Erwin came back from the military, so a few years. He didn't know why, entirely, just assumed he had been distracted. He half hoped Mike rode his harley there, just for the sake of staring at it and complimenting it.

And he had. When Levi reached the front gate to enter inside and pay, he found Mike's red and black harley sitting there, of course beside he and Nana's family car. At the front table, he bought his ticket and got his hand stamped with a pink beer on it before slipping the ticket in his pocket and walking to the teams. 

He found Mike there, leather vest on and big black boots standing beside the teams tent. Underneath it were women all wearing bright blue shirts. They were the home team for the central district and most recognized him or at least said his name when waving to him. Mike looked up from a sheet and shook his hand, happy he was there. 

Hange swerved up to him on their skates, wearing big, bright red glasses with orange tights and a purple mouth guard. They of course had the signature bright blue tank top, so they looked like they had just stepped from the seventies. 

They elbowed him in the shoulder before draping an arm around his shoulders. ''There's beer and food,'' they said, spitting their mouth guard out. 

''I'm good right now.'' he said, eyes distracted from the bright orange wrapped around their thighs.

''You like?" they asked, smiling and doing a split.

''My eyes hurt.'' he answered truthfully. Nana skated up and hugged him. She had the tank top on but instead wore stockings and a small black skirt. ''What happened to all the rules of dress?"

''Those have been tossed out for this game. You chose a good one to come to, it's really all been half assed.'' she always had fighting words whenever it came to derby. She was skinny, but she had the strength of an entire team and the anger of a bull when it came to this sport. He had seen her take down guys when they talked shit on her teammates or other players. She and Mike belonged there.

''I suppose I have. All the seats are in the sun.''

''No, sit over here.'' she pointed to the white chairs set up behind the rest of the girls on the team, but it was on a slight inclince so he would be able to see.

The rink was on owned land of a local brewery that was of course in charge of the beer there. They had given up space there when one of the derby girls married the owner of the place. The empty placement of grass was now a concrete rink meant for meets and practice for the home derby team with a place for the stage where the commentator sat and the person in charge of music and the scoreboard. Beer tent sat over there too alongside tables to eat at. 

All in all, it was a great place.

Moblit skated over, black and white referee shirt causing him to stand out as he clapped Levi on the back to greet him. He was the quietest person out of the friend group and that's why Levi liked him. He didn't talk often at all, but spoke when he needed to, or had great timing when it came to jokes or comments. He had been ref for the past three years for home games.

Levi nodded to him when he skated past to get a water before he spotted Pixis by the beer. ''Here, I'll be right back.'' he said to the three. 

He didn't really know what Pixis was or what he did. He was kind of all over, but he knew the man had a large history in the war and had a very large liking to alcohol. Not to the point that he would kill himself, but moreso that he did wine tasting and had once tried to own one. Instead, he landed an antique store in the old town part of the uptight small city and seemed pretty damned pleased with himself. He had offered he and Erwin jobs all the time as they were growing up and each time they declined but always kept it in the back of their heads.

Levi had worked a few hours cleaning there just for the sake of some extra cash and of course Pixis gave too much. He was generous as well once he found out of the Ackerman's situation. But Levi had to repay him some way, and that was just his mission.

He bought the man his beer there, and Pixis had a look of surprise to see him there before he brought him into a hug. ''Levi! Good to see you here finally!"

He had made a good decision on coming. ''Its good to see you too, Pixis. How's things?" he noticed he had become far more talkative since starting on taking Erwin places.

''They're good. I heard about Erwin from his father not even a few days ago, what a sad subject.'' of course he  had.

''Yeah, but he'll live.''

Pixis smiled, sipping his beer. 

''How's the shop?"

''Doing fantastic! Many rich, new people come shopping in old town so of course we get lots of attention.''

''You're in the main intersection, beside all the restaurants and the veterans memorial center.''

''And what a blessing that is!"

''So everything is settling well, then."

''Yes, and how's your mother?"

''She's doing well. I was going to bring her to the shop sometime soon, she likes her knick knacks.''

''It'd be great to see her soon, the game is about to start!"

In the end, Nanaba's team won with bruises and scrapes, one girl hitting the ground so hard there was a fifteen minute break. Hange suffered a large scrape on their thigh which looked painful as hell, but they called it a 'derby kiss'. Nanaba was a lead jammer for most of the game and brough in the won, just a two point difference between both teams. 

Levi helped clear the chairs and tents surrounding the area and helped fix up the track as well before packing the cooler into the back of the car parked beside the harley that Mike was sitting on. Hange had driven the car to the meet and was going to drive it back, Nana wanting to ride the harley home since it was rarely brought out of the garage. 

''Who's hungry?" Hange asked. It was nine at night and they didn't know what places would be open, but all friends ended up going to a chinese place at the end of the road that Levi had one too many memories of, going there for birthday dinners for friends. The food wasn't the best, but he hadn't eaten much that day, being distracted by other topics, so he ate it faster than he expected and all left a big tip for the waitress.

The harley roared off, Hange and Moblit driving off after them with a smile and a wave. He was left in silence and dark of the road, watching the headlights leave and listening to the drifting roar. Then, he felt his phone vibrate.

He pulled it from his pocket and looked down, seeing that papa Smith had messaged him. Levi opened the message and read it over before messaging back. He hadn't done much of his research on liver cancer, he knew more about breast cancer, and what it felt like to be on the sidelines during that time, but this was far more serious and Erwin hadn't properly taken care of himself, nor said anything to Levi. 

Thank God a cop didn't pull him over as he drove to the hospital. He was going over the speed limit and had taken several illegal turns and cut people off. He skidded to a halt to pull into a parking spot before rushing to the hospital doors, seeing papa Smith walking forth with his hands in his pockets. 

Levi looked up at him, seeing the same depressing pool in his blue irises that Erwin had inherited before softly touching his arm. He lead him to go on a walk, to calm his nerves. 

''They said it was at stage four, and that it could be treated easily.'' papa Smith said, looking down. He had the same heavy set look on his face that his son had. 

''It's worse, isn't it?"

''Much, much worse. Of course Erwin did his research and told me not to worry. But it's spread around to his other organs, and there are four tumors.''

''Shit...'' Levi said, sticking his hands in his back pockets.

''He thought it'd be best to be quiet about it, to not worry anyone until chemo started, and then we knew he would be getting treatment. But its torture for him. Just...'' his voice cracked softly and he shut his mouth. He loved his son, so much. He wanted to protect him, raise him and give him a good life. So far it had been treating him like shit and looked like it wasn't going to let up anytime soon. ''Chemo is expected to help, but also its terrible. He was suffering through the side effects.''

''Which ones?"

''He was saying he was having terrible headaches after just his first treatment, and then his second he came and said that it was worse, his stomach hurting as well. Then vomiting. Doctors said it wasn't rare to have either of these and it was quite frequent. But the only reason he wasn't sleeping or resting was because of the frequent sickness.''

Levi sighed through his nose. 

''If anything, Erwin made the situation worse for himself by not telling any of his friends, or me about what he needed.''

''He acted like he was fine for the sake of others again.''

''Unfortunately enough... I can't tell if he learned it by himself or gets it from me.''

''No, that's just what he's like... What... What's the life expectancy rate at stage four?"

''Five years, but at this point, that's an eleven percent chance. The doctors so far have been filled with so much useful and painful information.''

They both sat on the concrete sign that was sitting on the ground, only about four feet tall. Both men looked up at the stars and Levi looked over at the slowly graying man beside him. He was similar to Erwin, but his thoughts and dreams went to the stars instead to the sea. Up there were plans, thoughts, memories and more from the man, and he had the same look of dreaming in his eyes, his face softened, and so did his muscles. He was trying to let go of what was going on, and though still stiff, wasn't doing a bad job at it. Both of the Smith's were terrible at relaxing and leaving work behind, but this one was better at it, knew where to put his time.

Levi guessed that older age and longer time living helped him with those wise thoughts. Hopefully Erwin would be smarter in his future.

''Did he have fun in Santa Cruz? Did you boss him around like usual?" it was half hearted from the older man.

''Yeah, I think he did. And of course I did...'' garlic fries were a huge fucking mistake, and he realized that now. He would keep dwelling on the fact that Erwin had been ill after the fries and he would continue blaming himself. He feeling was coming up on him and he took a deep breath, subtley to avoid questions.

''Thank you, Levi, for all you've done for him. Come visit tomorrow.''

''I will.''

Papa Smith pat Levi's shoulder with a soft smile before slowly going back to the glass doors which slid open for him. 

When Levi arrived back home, he hung his keys and pushed his shoes off before patting through the house, hints of other life around the apartment. Usually, Levi put things back into place or cleaned up, folding blankets and things. He had brushed it all over the past several hours and had left everything how Erwin had. Blanket messily folded and set on the arm of the couch, a sock accompanying it. In the kitchen there was a glass there, a cup, a spoon and the spatula used to cook eggs.

The bathroom cabinet was open from Erwin changing over the toilet rolls when he used the bathroom and the paper was ripped as well, up the side and put on the wrong way round. With those bits of humanity spread about, it felt like Levi wasn't fully alone in the apartment. 

~*~


	6. Chapter 6

The bathroom was swept, each corner now clean the bathrub and the toilet now shining alongside the mirror and sink plus the faucet. He moved the pile of dirt that had began developing to the center of his apartment, sweeping it all together from the other rooms before tossing it away. He then took the trash and recycling out, the trip down the stairs a struggle before he ran back up them to finish up, cleaning the sliding door that lead out onto the small balcony before vaccuming the rugs. 

With that finished he did his laundry and then organized it all into their proper drawers and hung his shirts up before picking clothes out, taking a shower. He stood beneath the water for a long while, mostly thinking as he stood there. He should pay a visit to his mother, take her somewhere, probably Pixis's antique store and then get her food from one of the restaurants nearby, maybe sit in the close park for a while... Update on her on what was going on. What to do from there... Maybe go by the hospital? No, it was Mike's day wasn't it? 

A schedule had been organized around everyone's free time, and on Mike's lunch break he was going to go visit Erwin alongside Nanaba that had gotten off from her job at one of the large restaurants now rising up in the center of town. Then tomorrow it would be Hange, perhaps Petra but he knew that Petra was busy with other things. Not like Levi had much other to do than to sit and worry as he tried to distract himself from his own mind by browsing the internet, or updating things. Not like he very often used any social media platform, nor updated anything since he first joined anything. His accounts kind of just sat there, and he didn't do much besides use them to browse other things, and sometimes message Hange through them. They sat left and ignored any other time unless someone (usually Erwin) needed to sign in from his laptop.

That reminded him, he shouldn't give a fuck and should go see his friend. He'd been asked by Erwin and papa Smith, so why was he avoiding the situation so much? He knew the answer to that question, but wouldn't face the simple facts anyways. Levi looked down at his hands and found the skin pruning and decided it was time to step from the shower and get dressed to go visit his mother. Instead, he found himself browsing realtor sites for a suitable home for her instead of actually leaving the house. It was hot, again, and he didn't know if he wanted to step outside, but thought of it as another one of his useless excuses. So he messaged the older woman, asking what time would be best to come around and once she messaged back, he had about thirty minutes to spare. 

This would give him time to drive to the home he had been viewing, look at the property briefly before leaving to pick his mother up from her shitty apartment. Keys, phone, sunglasses, Levi was set. The house, upon arrival, seemed far larger than in the photos, and the realtor was there, inviting him in and showing him each room. Office room, two bedrooms, small back patio, good sized kitchen and living area and two bathrooms... Seemed rather large and unecassery to Levi and he knew that his mother would be lost as to what to do with so much space compared to her older home, but maybe she needed a dog as a companion. She liked dogs, and cats, so with another creature bustling around and occasional visit from others would be good for her, and the house was the perfect size for that. 

He'd find a way to convince her. Levi thanked the realtor and slumped in the car seat, glancing into the rear view mirror before looking down at his phone, finding a message from papa Smith that, once opened, showed a blurred photo of himself sitting next to what he could make out was Erwin asleep. It was just his shoulders down to his waist but it was definitely Erwin. 

''Come by :D !" it said underneath the picture. 

Levi began typing. ''I will soon, need to do a few things.''

He achieved what he wanted by taking his mother around Old Town and taking her to lunch before dropping her off at home. It took up four to five hours of the day, but at least he was distracted the entire day by the brick buildings and its contents. 

She softly kissed his cheek at the door and he could hear music followed by yelling down the street. ''Tell the boys I said hi, will ya?"

''Of course I will,'' he forced the corner of his lips up and softened his eyes before she snaked her arms around him and held him close.

''It'll get better, Levi.'' she reffered to the entire situation they were stuck in. ''Don't worry yourself too much, you know its hazardous to your health.''

A deep sigh left him and he nodded, his mother pulling back from the hug and patting his cheek. ''He'll be okay too.''

It was a reluctant goodbye between them both before he walked to his car, ready to go visit the Smith's, pleased he had something more to inform them on, but of course. A notification came saying he needed to check the grounds beside a newly built home to be sure that there weren't already installed wires or other hazard's that the family would have to be careful about while digging. The location was on the far other side of the city, between the borders of the two cities and he drove over with a deep frown and growling stomach. 

The family was nice enough once he arrived, but they kept watching him when he checked the grounds and took his time checking each inch of the property. It was his job, and if he didn't do it, he wouldn't have the income he was getting now. Finally, after the thorough check, it was found that there were in fact wires running underneath the dirt, around where they had been planning to plant a garden. None of them looked to happy to be receiving this information, and the large male there ripped the paper slip from Levi's hands to look it over, which mainly consisted of notes and wasn't the actual slip that informed them of the dangers of digging without checking first. He pulled it slowly from the man's hand and replaced it with the proper paper before checking in with work about the situation. He excused himself not soon after and a large wave of exhaustion hit him at the traffic lights when he was on his way to get himself something to eat. Dizziness took over and he took a sip of the hot water in the water bottle that had been sitting in the car the last day and a half. 

It tasted disgusting and he grimaced before tossing the bottle into the other seat, driving away from the lights. Levi could see the ripple of heat on the road as he drove, planning on going to the closest store to buy a sandwich before his phone buzzed several times. He had arrived at the next set of lights and knew he had the entire cycle to go through before he needed to go, so he used that time to message a co-worker back before glancing up to find a cop sitting on a motorbike directly beside him. The cop waved and he waved back before setting his phone down. The lights turned green and he pulled away, cursing before the cop followed and flashed his lights. 

''Fucking goddamn it.'' he pulled to the side of the road, sun hitting him directly from where he sat and he pulled the keys after rolling down his window. Without air conditioning and stuck with the sun beating on him accompanied by the damn heat now flowing through his window, the cop walked up and smiled at him before crossing his arms. 

''License and registration.''

''Let me get my wallet out,'' he had to be careful especially with the cops in this area. He pulled his old leather wallet out before pulling the papers out and handing them over to the officer. Levi sat and waited for more than fifteen minutes in the heat, shirt now sticking to him before the cop came back and handed a ticket over as well.

Levi thanked him before driving off with a warning as well. He went home and changed out of his sweaty clothes before eating, checking his phone again as repitition and set off to the hospital. He was greeted by kind women at the front desk before being directed to the hospital room to see Erwin. Levi took his time, it felt like too much time before finally reaching the hospital room. It smelled medicine and he could hear footsteps and voices echoing from several halls down it was so silent in that wing, which was dedicated to cancer research. 

He lifted his hand and pressed his knuckles against the cool wood, going to knock but instead standing there and debating the entire situation. With how his father had reported it, Erwin was half dead already and it wasn't even the fourth day of treatment. He had been bombarded with chemotherapy, radiation, and meds to keep the pain at  bay, and in full honesty, Levi was scared. Incidentally he had been avoiding seeing Erwin due to the fear. Finally he knocked, drumming a few times and heard one of the men say 'come in'.

He pushed the handle down and opened it, eyes first going to the man laying on the bed, who's blue eyes looked back in fatigue. Levi had been right, he looked fucking weird without eyebrows.

~*~

Tired eyes, bags underneath them, he looked slightly skinnier, and hair ceased to exist. Erwin was bald, had no eyebrows, which was the main thing that was putting Levi on edge at that current moment before he noticed how absolutely exhausted he looked. It would only grow worse from there, Levi knew that. 

He pulled a chair up beside him and looked him over, instant feeling of guilt hitting him once he realized that Erwin had been dealing with that same look from all his other friends, like he was an animal in a zoo instead of an ill man in a hospital bed. He seemed relatively comfortable, but Levi assumed it was just because he was too tired to move much.

''How do I look?'' Erwin asked.

''Your eyebrows left.''

''They went on vacation.''

''Well, when are they coming back? Because you look fucking weird without them.''

A small smile spread on Erwin's face and he chuckled softly. ''At least you were right.'' Levi reached forth and rubbed the bald head before retracting his hand, feeling of guilt washing over him again and he continued his best with the conversation.

''They're really fighting the cancer, aren't they?"

''Yeah, tumors, the cancer has spread, I've been puking. Real fun so far, but don't worry, they told me this is the best way to do it.''

''Did you eat anything today?"

''Barely. Whenever I eat it comes back up and I can't bare the stomach pain.''

''You need to eat, I know it hurts but its crucial no matter what.''

''Sleep is a nightmare as well, because with all these new medications, I can't take some of my old ones.''

Levi's eyes widened a bit. ''But they know you need them, right?"

''Priorities. Cancer first, night terrors the next.''

''How bad have they come back? Full force?"

''Occasionally, but when my body gives up then I'm in too deep of sleep to really dream or anything.''

''But they've come back?"

''Not as bad as I thought they would when I was told that they would be taking me off of specific medications. I didn't know what they were thinking and it scared me, but I left it to the professionals and I'm distracted by other things when I wake up.''

''How many hours of sleep do you get now?"

''A few. Introduced by a cold sweat, then stomach pains followed by dry heaving and then I sleep, then after it is accompanied by a night terror or two before I'm fully awake again and given more medication to shut me up.''

Erwin had had enough of it so far and he still had several months to a year to go depending on progress and his body's state. So far, he was doing shit and Levi didn't know how well he could do the rest of the way. Mood swings were to be expected, and he knew Erwin would have them under tight control as well, that was Erwin's way. He could looked happy as hell but honestly be exhausted and wanting to die instead of having to put up with whatever bullshit was going on around him at that point in time. Levi- not so much in that category. He had been so used to keeping up a facade that it had incidentally turned into the main expression of emotion and several times others had asked him if he was capable of feeling. That didn't feel good, having that question being asked, but he thought over it and realized he did in fact feel. Mostly anger at that time, but at least he felt something. That's what made him human, unfortunately. 

This led to a struggle in basic communication as well, the violent discomfort he felt in large crowds and surrounded by others, or even sometimes the thought of communicating with the woman running the gas station near his home, the sort of things that were easy for other people to do, like Erwin. Erwin was a charming man with a kind persona and Levi had been told many times by a wide variety of people that he was grumpy and needed to loosen up a bit, stand with a little more pride, and most of all, stick his chin up more. The idea of it didn't sound bad, and he had improved with his posture, but still at times it was a struggle to look so confident in crowds like his friend did. Hange tried giving advice, but they were far too out there for either of them to be able to bond in that way. Nanaba seemed the closest to helping and she could relate at some level to him, but conversation always seemed cut short between them. 

With this violent discomfort also came the inability to talk with his friends sometimes and an occasional mess up was now expected, which he hated. Jealousy radiated off of him when he watched Erwin chat with employees in stores, or casual talks with others. The blond had begun helping him sometimes too, and though Levi despised the idea of it, he accepted it anyways because he knew how terrible he hd become in those situations.

Dark blue eyes drifted over the bare spot where bushy eyebrows should have been and he snorted before looking away. 

''What?" Erwin asked and Levi shook his head, rubbing his nose. ''What? I wanna know now.''

''You just...'' Levi looked him in the eyes and then snorted again. ''Look like you crawled out of a pod or some shit, like I know you're Erwin but you look more like a failed and miserable clone of yourself if anything.''

''I hate your imagination sometimes.'' Erwin said.

''Straight from The Invasion of the Body Snatchers or some shit, honestly.''

''Thanks, Levi. You still look like a munchkin from The Wizard of Oz.''

''I do not!"

''Hange is Scarecrow.''

''Hange is something scary alright.''

Erwin laughed softly and the corners of his lips lifted, dimples showing when he smiled before he reached for a glass of water on the table next to him and sipped it. ''How's your day been?"

''I got a ticket before coming here, but besides that it's been okay.''

''You've been worrying again, haven't you?"

''You expect me not to?''

The blond looked down at his lap. 

''You said some shit while on that road trip that I won't easily forget, Erwin. I'm not going to hold the information against you either, but I of course have concerns when it comes to you and your sense of well being. Life hasn't been the best, hell, it's been absolute fucking shit and it's been dragging you like a ragdoll through it. I worry for good reasons, sometimes.''

''Sometimes...''

Levi crossed his arms and legs and looked down at his own lap before Erwin spoke again, quietly.

''It's only a few night terrors but they have the intensity of double that. It's more of... Replays of what happened, but... If I'm standing with them again, and through my struggles of trying to help, in other ways, I am still unable to do anything.''

He looked up at him, watching the slight change in his expression. Erwin was too tired to do much more than say that and he was leaning back further into the pillow.

''They're not blaming you, Erwin, no one is.''

With that set in his mind, the blond slowly drifted to sleep.

Levi excused himself a while after and kept the older blond company before saying goodbye and heading home since visiting hours for friends were up. Back at home, he made himself fish to distract himself and as it cooked he was latched onto the laptop again. A few notifications popped up, Hange's username attached to them and he opened the messages to find photos of a tired Moblit trying to keep his sad eyes on the television.

''he's sad about erwin, too.''

He knew he wasn't he only person that was angry about it, but for some reason grew angry at the message. It seemed more like they were proposing he had pushed other people away from Erwin and that he was the only one. It was another over reaction fired off by lack of sleep during the night and he typed away.

''What do you want me to do?"

''can u bring some food over please.''

''Can you not cook for yourself?"

''come ooooooonnnnn little man.''

''Fine, I'll be over when the food is done.''

'':)''

Hange was too distracted to cook anything for themself and Moblit was usually too tired from the day to get to cooking so he was the usual delivery man of food. The only way they got their right amount of vegetables was from him, since they lived off of TV dinners and pre-cooked foods all stacked in the freezer.

Once the fish was cooked and cooled enough for him to be able to transport it over with some rice and broccoli, he drove over and knocked on the door. They shared a nice home together closest to the schools and the rich square down the road. Past the gate was an overgrown garden with vines reaching around and the pathway was no longer able to be seen since neither of them had trimmed anything in what looked like a year. Levi advised against any pets for the sole reason that it would turn into a rabid animal in the forest looking front garden. 

He gripped the brass knocker Hange had drilled onto the door and it hit hard against the green front door, Hange greeting him and pulling him inside. The house never held just one smell. It always smelled like a different variety of random bullshit that one of them had concoted in the house.

Quickly warming up the food in the microwave, he went and sat with Moblit in the living area where he spent most of his time at the office desk in the corner of the room. Most of his work was done from there while Hange did whatever they distracted themselves with on their days off so of course it was nicely organized, it was where he spent most of his time.

The man was slumped, eyes trained on the television screen in front of him and they looked glossy, hands folded in his lap. No one in the group had taken the news very well, but acted like they did to please everyone else. It was a family now, they kept each other safe, were strong for one another, but sometimes they needed to let go.

That's what it was here for Moblit. He was a strong man, obviously by living with Hange, but also far more sensitive than the others when it came to situations such as these. His mother he had lost to a muscle deteriorating cancer and his father had died in a car accident, orphaned and left to live with his grandparents. 

Cancer was a sensitive topic to both men, and both men were also close with Erwin. Moblit had met him a while back when stuck in financial debt at college and of course the blond was more than happy to offer up some money for him to get back on his feet. With that donation came Moblit's rise again and he got a job, an apartment, and worked through the rest of college before meeting the rest of the friend group after Erwin left to the military. His father had also been a soldier, so he was far more sensitve to the topic of losing someone in the military, which had always been a fear in the back of his mind. Both sat on the couch, watching whatever reality TV show he enjoyed until Moblit spoke.

''How's he doing?"

''He's tired,'' Levi answered. ''But he'll be okay.''

He couldn't very well convince himself of that, so how could he convince another person of that information? It somehow settled Moblit's nerves and Hange came running over with the plates and forks in a haphazard way that the other man grew concerned over and even told the other to start back at the kitchen and walk the food over.

Hange slumped down inbetween them both and handed a plate to each man before starting on their own. They scarfed it down while the other two ate slowly and watched the TV. Not much conversation happened that evening, mainly because all three became entranced with the show. Levi enjoyed avoiding those shows just because of how sucked in he became when he watched them. It was his mother's guilty pleasure, those shows, but not his own.

Levi left with a cosmic brownie in hand, a gift in return for dinner and the small amount of socializing before heading home in the dark. The streetlights cast shadows over him as he drove the small distance home since Moblit and Hange weren't too far away from his apartment complex. A neighbor waved to him as he stepped from the car and he waved back before ascending the stairs, planning on going to bed.

He stripped down to just boxers that evening since the heat was nowhere near settling down and he turned the AC on before brushing his teeth. Levi went around and hit all the lights off and locked the door before collapsing into bed. Of course he stayed up that night and instead pulled his laptop up on his lap after about an hour of struggling and latched himself onto it, reading articles and watching videos that were in no way educational, but he was there now.

When his eyelids started to grow heavy and he was having problems holding his head up, he closed it and sent a text message to the Smith's, wishing them both a good night before slumping to sleep. 

~*~  
He found himself out on a dirt road for some reason in his dreams that night, and in curiosity followed it. It lead him to a fucked up trailer surrounded by metal parts of cars, trucks, and whatever the fuck else sat in the tall, dead grass. The trailer had once been a color blue, but now sat faded and unwanted. The windows were cracked, one was instead made out of clear duct tape, and dirt filled the screen door. It didn't look too inviting, if Levi was honest, but his feet brought him directly into the dead grass beside what looked like an engine. 

His eyes were set on that and not on whatever figure was moving around him. He couldn't lift his head to look, and was instead too distracted on the reflection in the dirty and rusted metal. The figure moved closer, he could tell since their body was now taking up the entirety of the reflection of the metal and the smell of cigarettes and body odor hit him like a punch in the face. Smelled like Kenny alright, the smell of oil lacing him as well. For whatever reason, Levi ended up in the man's shitty excuse of a front yard and was stuck there, unmoving. He knew it was a dream since he hadn't seen the man in more than a decadeand had no intention on hunting him down for a nice chat over tea. 

His mom always told him that dreams reflected on a lot and were somehow doorways and keys to questions that had been asked for years, but he blamed whatever she said on the meds she had to take at that point in time, and God knew how many different kinds of medication she had to take over her lifetime.

Did this shit dream have a meaning to it? Was Levi in need of a massage or something because he was stuck still, facing the metal of the engine while the other greasy mother fucker grew closer. He shut his eyes, just for the hope of waking up. 

Instead when they opened, he stood straight in the dead grass, trailer now gone and replaced by a boat. He looked over at the boat, it's belly was red and he couldn't make out the black lettering on the side, but it looked nice, like a boat Erwin had depicted to him on several occasions. When he approached it, he was instead pulled back roughly and time seemed to stop. He spotted blond hair out the corner of his eye and found a woman standing there. She looked familiar, but he saw thousands of faces every day and forgot most of them, so he didn't think twice on it. Eyes were very blue, and hair was very long. Just as Erwin had depicted his mother. She held something out, but it was just another piece of metal until he looked closely, finding the dog tags Erwin had sitting on his nightstand back at the house.

There, Levi woke, sitting upright and looking around the room just to make sure he had in fact dreamed the sequence. That woman he never wanted to meet for obvious reasons and he had promised to himself and Erwin that he would protect his friend from that woman if she ever had to come back. That would never happened since the law was in the way of that ever occuring. 

But Levi was kept up for the rest of the night just because of that one crucial moment in the dream, and by four in the morning, he was thinking it all over.

~*~


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi plans on getting his mother a home and starts settling in, also trying to find properties for Erwin to begin building a home. Erwin's health deteriorates and he opens up more about his time in the military and other causes for his PTSD while Hange tries unlocking the secrets of Levi's strange dream, both discussing it and a plan comes to mind, that even Hange is second guessing.

The next week Levi visited Erwin four times out of the seven days, leaving the rest for everyone else and working those extra hours before heading to Hange's home, completely uninvited which was unlike him. He was invited inside quickly and served tea they kept there just for him before he and Hange sat directly beside the fan in the living room.

''What's wrong?" they asked, knowing something was getting him wound up. ''Besides Erwin and everything.''

Levi took a sip of his tea before starting to explain the dream he had experienced several days prior to the conversation. Hange listened deeply and he could see the gears turning in their head as he continued to speak. They always enjoyed breaking things apart to figure them out, that was their secret passion, figuring out dreams, trying to explain it to themselves and others. Levi thought of it was a waste of time, trying to figure out what they meant and what they could bring to him, but this once he decided to listen to Hange and what they had to say.

Brown eyes fluttered over the table as the brown locks fluttered as the fan turned its head to blow cold air over both of them before they spoke. ''That's fucking weird.'' they concentrated before sipping their own drink, setting it aside. ''I think the part with your uncle means you're stuck on something from the last time you saw him. As in you're clinging to a memory from that time period. I think with Erwin's mother she's passing something on to you, or more like your own mental demons could be passing something onto you.''

He sat back, mainly thinking over the part with Kenny as the other brought their knees to their chest.

''Stuck on a memory?" he asked quietly, eyes turning over to a stain on the carpet. 

''Who knows, maybe going up to Kenny's will solve something.''

''I hope not.''

''Dog tags don't make much sense to me, but the part with your uncle really hits me because I truly think you're holding back on something. Keeping a crucial memory in your mind that needs to be obliterated.'' they shrugged their shoulders before reaching forth to pick up their own cup. ''Or its a sign of something else, I'm not a therapist or anything. But have you been thinking a lot on Erwin's time in the military?"

''He's opened up to me more about it, actually.'' he answered, pulling his foot up to rest on the couch. ''Talked a bit more on what happened.''

''Could just be thinking about something crucial that means a lot to him instead, never know.''

''Yeah...''

''You should go see him tomorrow-''

''You've been wearing the masks, like we've been told to do.''

''Of course I have. I may be unsanitary sometimes but I'm not going to ignore that important of a detail.''

They all had to start wearing surgical masks over their mouth to avoid spreading any infection or disease since his immune system wouldn't be strong enough to fight back. ''I'll go see him tomorrow, don't worry.''

The man looked even unhealthier and far more tired than last time Levi saw him, eye sunken, face tired and eyelids slowly drooping to blink. Levi ignored any comments on it, but teasingly called him a slug when he walked in through the door that managed to cause the other to smile. 

He sat down next to Erwin, looking over at the game show playing on the television before the other turned the volume down. ''How've you been, Erwin?"

''I've been needing to talk.''

Levi lifted his hands and gestured to himself. ''I'm here now.''

''The training exercise, I've told you about it.''

''Yes, the ambush.''

''There were other times.''

''You spent two years there, so I've no doubt.''

''M203 grenade launcher, meant to attach to a semi automatic rifle,'' Erwin began. ''We were shooting targets with those a year later and one kept misfiring. That thing could cause a mess if used wrong, so I reported it, though it was ignored. I continued reporting it each time it misfired, I wanted to pull the gun but it wasn't my place to do so. If I did it myself, I could have gotten a slip from the Court Marshall about my behavior and spend time suspended. So I just simply continued reporting it since it was a hazard.'' his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly. ''I grew tired of it being ignored by my higher up and I went to the next rank to inform them on what was happening and all they told me was that if it was written off, I would have to ignore it and follow orders if my superior decided it was alright to use.

That next day it misfired again, the grenade exploding as well and it took out the shooter alongside five other men and women around him, killing them all and injuring three more, one of which dying from her injuries later while the other two lived with scars.'' Erwin reached carefully down to his waist and pushed the blankets down before lifting up his hospital robe and Levi leaned forth, glancing from the light blue pools to the long white scars on his side. ''I suffered these and was diagnosed with PTSD three weeks later in a checkup with my doctor.''

Levi's fingers ghosted over the scars, that had once been deep and caused him much pain. It still probably caused the taller man emotional pain to that day as well. ''What happened to your superior?"

''I don't know. I was sent to a different station where it was at least calmer, mostly just scouting, though scouting never brought much luck my way.''

''You felt responsible for their deaths, didn't you?" Levi asked quietly, drifting his fingers up the scars on the other mans pale and clammy skin. 

''No matter what I was told I couldn't help feeling responsible,'' he answered and the smaller male pulled his hand away before the other pulled his hospital gown back into place. ''Even if I had pulled the gun I would have gotten in trouble. I followed protocol, reported it when I noticed it was misfiring. I did what my job allowed me to do, and still felt like I caused their deaths.''

''Do you at least know now it isn't your fault?"

''It echoes through my mind, but I'm still unable to ever fully grasp it. It's ridiculous to hear, but I just can't-''

''No no, I still blame myself for things that are in no way my fault. There's no logical explanation for things that I take authority for, yet I still do it. So I understand at a very mellow level what you feel.'' he reached forth and poked Erwin's leg. ''Anyways, we're both overthinking idiots, aren't we?"

The other nodded, though still didn't smile. Despite his efforts that day, Levi was unable to make the other laugh, though didn't push much on the idea of doing so. The other man was tired, far more interested in talking to Levi or listening to his comments on the show silently playing beside them to really want to talk much himself.

He kept out the part about his dream, though, mentioned nothing about it that day before visiting hours were up and he had to go. He waved to Erwin, wanting for the other to give him a side hug like he would always do before they seperated, but got a wave in return and a sad look on the others face.

That evening he spoke to his mother over the phone while looking at homes for her and Erwin, eating a bowl of pasta with brocolli as well. The conversation was long, both updating each other as well as updates on Erwin's case as Levi tapped through a property he thought was perfect for the tall male before getting sidetracked on trying to find the number for the realtor he had met the other day.

The next morning he called the realtor and talked before heading over to his mother's apartment. He would distract himself with finding a way to get her to agree to the new home and then go back around to Hange's apartment. He instead decided to surprise her with her home and began talking about her feelings on moving.

''I told you, no buying me a house.'' she said as she washed up their plates.

''Ma, you need to move out of here.''

''I don't want you to spend all of your money on me.''

''I'll find a way around you.''

She laughed softly. ''Good luck with that, Levi.'' 

He smiled when she looked away before she hugged him and he hugged back. It was a brief moment of silence before they continued their original conversation, and he again avoided talk about his dream. He didn't know if he wanted to mention the jackass of a brother to his mom at that time, especially since she was laughing lightly and enjoying herself. 

Levi left with a hug and a sandwich before heading to his mother's friend's place, Beatrice. Beatrice he didn't exactly like, but she would be his only way to cement his plan. He was going to pay up front, get the other woman to distract his mother for an entire day as he found a way to move her belongings in alongside a new pet. It was bold, but he was up to the current challenge. 

The plan was sorted out before he headed to Hange's to sort out another plan. They sat glued to the back of the couch with a laptop in their hands as they typed away. Names, birth certificates, records, all sorts of files showed up on their screen and all he could do was watch before an address came up on street view. It was a dirt road, connected from a paved road with large trees and shrubs all around. 

''This is as far as it goes,'' they said, leaning closer to the screen, glasses reflecting the light. ''But it looks like a place he would live.'' 

He reached over and pulled the laptop to see the screen fully, looking around at the other surroundings as well before pushing it back into place on Hange's lap. ''Secluded dirt road, yeah probably.''

''Does anything around that look familiar to what you had seen?"

''Not much. But there may be more back roads than we think there are. We could also always drive up there and ask around. No doubt we'd get a name, address, and police record in no time alongside a mountain of bills.''

Hange smiled and kept clicking through things before Kenny's face popped up and they both flew back into the couch. ''Ew,'' Hange commented and pulled the image to the side. ''But hey, look! 'Kenny Ackerman'. Looks like a repeat offender.''

It was obviously the man's mugshot. ''No doubt, it's Kenny, for fucks sake.''

The other turned their head to look at him. ''What were you thinking on doing, Levi?" they asked, suddenly far more serious since he could see the glint in their eyes.

''I'm following what you said for once,'' he answered, standing and turning the fan on high. ''He may have something that I need answered.''

''Like what?"

''The Smith history up in the mountains.''

Hange raised a brow, their roles slowly reversing as the two stared at each other. ''Smith history?"

''Kenny is a lying, greasy, rat mother fucker that has dirt on every single person up in those mountains besides the tourists pass by because he knows how to hurt and manipulate people to get his way. Erwin and his parents lived up there until his mother was taken to jail in sixth grade. Kenny develops dirt on people in less than a month and they lived there for seven years.''

''So you want to go to him for answers to questions that both the Smith's could easily answer?"

''No, I want to go to him for answers to questions that no one but he could answer. He still has stolen shit under his 'borrowed possesion' from my mother that I want back as well.''

''Because... Of a dream you had and you're... Taking my advice.''

''Stupid idea but what else can I do?"

''I dunno, solve it in your logical ways instead of thinking like me?!"

''This is what happens when I can't talk with Erwin often.''

''Is he like ninety percent of your self control?"

''Pretty much.''

~*~

In the hospital room, Erwin slept quietly as Levi read the slow subtitles on the television screen, mask sitting on his face. He was careful about not touching too much, and avoided the remote to avoid leaving any germs behind that the blond could pick up easily. Apparently after their conversation a few days before, he had started having full blown panic attacks and nightmares, stomach pains adding onto it. Levi was there, like he always was to help his friend when the time came again to try and calm him and bring him back to the real world.

He heard a shift come from the other, followed by a soft groan before he looked over and watched eyes open and a pain stricken expression cross his face. ''What's wrong?" he asked, sitting forward. 

''It hurts...'' he whined, shifting to press a hand tiredly to his stomach. 

''Stomach pains again?" the other nodded before coughing into his elbow, then sitting up abruptly to puke into the bucket that had been placed beside the bed for that sole purpose. Levi called for the nurses and sat with Erwin, unable to do anything other than talk him into drinking some water. This only caused the other to retch again and soon the nurses were in the room, masks on and gloves on as well before they began thier business.

A while after, Erwin was calming and letting some medication settle in his stomach, though he still gripped the blanket tightly as he began sweating heavily. Levi pulled some tissues from the box beside him and carefully wiped the sweat from his friend's head. He was heavily drugged up and barely registered the other beside him, who was caring for him. Levi tossed the tissues in the trash and sat back in his chair, watching the other try and register his surroundings before falling back to sleep. It was kind of the only way he would sleep, if he was drugged up enough or just so exhausted his body and mind gave up on him.

The smaller male turned his eyes back up to the television before feeling a buzz come from his pocket. It was from work, asking him to come in. 

Levi put his phone on silent for the rest of the day.

~*~

Erwin had contracted a fever and had whooping cough, alongside headaches, stomach pains, and of course nausea and fatigue. Only doctors and nurses were allowed inside the room and when Levi went to visit, he was stuck looking through a window with his father, watching him cough and writhe slightly in pain each time. 

It hurt to have to stand there and only be able to watch, knowing that if either of them went in there, the situation would grow worse than before. In the back of his mind he wondered if wiping Erwin's sweat had caused it, but he quickly pushed that thought from his mind. Both he and Erwin had to stop blaming themselves for those sorts of things. 

He convinced the other man to eat some lunch since he hadn't eaten all day and decided to keep him company for several hours, even though the silence was deafening between them both. When visiting hours were up, Levi went directly to Moblit to inform him on what was going on, knowing the other three would be there.

Mike was on the couch with Hange, Moblit cooking something while Nana answered the door, her face falling when she saw Levi's. He had tried to put on a somewhat happy persona, but had obviously failed in that attempt and she pulled him inside.

In the living room he quietly explained the current situation Erwin was going through, four pairs of eyes on him, each pair sadder than the next as he continued talking. He quietly sipped his water, trying to push himself into the back of the couch in hope that it would envelope him and take him in alongside a twenty dollar bill Hange spent half an hour looking for once.

''He's going to live though,'' Moblit said. ''Right?"

''Erwin's just in a lot of pain.'' Hange answered. 

''And is probably scared.'' Nana added

The tallest male was silent, leaning into the couch more with his hands folded in his lap, rubbing his thumbs anxiously against each other. Levi was quiet as well, not wanting to add more than he needed to as Moblit silently finished up cooking and Hange continued whatever conversation they were having with Mike as Nanaba wrote and listened to the television. It was rather calm there, and Levi embraced the peacefulness of it all, alongside the meal Moblit served. During that time it was simply metal forks clinking against glass plates, scraping of the metal when shoveling it all together, and some quiet coughs when shoveling it all in too fast. 

Instead of going anywhere that evening, Levi cleaned up the plates while the others argued over what to watch and they ended up watching soap operas all evening, everyone distracting themselves with shitty acting and terrible story plots.

~*~

He drove out with Mike in the backseat and Nanaba in the passenger seat to a property he found just three minutes out of the city and in the countryside. Along the way long fields of grass flowed, some horses large homes spotting the area alongside white fences. The properties there were large, meabt for growing and establishment by new people moving in, and Levi was on a mission to find one that suited Erwin the best, somewhere where he could challenge himself to build a perfect home for himself as well.

Upon arrival, his passengers were confused before they noticed another car, Levi stepping out upon that moment. He shook hands with the man that showed, obviously important and owned the land there, and introduced himself alongside the other two before following the other male without giving the other two any hint as to what they were doing exactly or what the main focus was. They simply followed, internally asking questions as the man chattered on about the property and how rich the soil was for planting. 

Levi followed him around the property line, eyeing different areas and things, noticing a few kids jumping into a pool from far away, half listening to what the man had to say. Altogether it took about half an hour to get all the information from him before they shook hands again and Levi promised to come back. It wasn't his place to decide where Erwin built his house, but he could at least offer up some ideas.

Back in the car, he flicked on the AC and drove them to the nearest fast food place to eat, which ended up being Sonic, though he drove on right past that and went directly to Taco Bell instead. Inside, he sat with his water cup and flicked through his phone, answering Hange back before the other two sat down in front of him and stared at him.

Lifing his eyes, he raised his brow and looked at them both. ''What?" he asked

''What was all that about?" Mike asked. 

''Erwin mentioned he wanted to build a house after chemo and cancer, so I thought I'd look a bit for him, maybe offer up some ideas.'' Nanaba stood when their number was called.

''I think he'd like that. Going property shopping with you. You always have something to comment on when you're with him.''

A glare shot from his blue eyes but had no effect on the taller male, who scooped his taco up from the tray as Nana set it down and seated herself. ''Anyone get any notifications from either Smith?" she asked and both men shook their heads as Levi opened his hot sauce packet, pouring it over his food.

His stomach wasn't very happy as he dropped his friends off at home, nor at his apartment when he finally arrived after eating. He sprawled across the couch later, phone in hand and glass of water in the other, thinking over what his diet had been. Mainly what Erwin had to eat, which was liquified vegetables and fruits for breakfast alongside small portions of lunch meat for lunch and healthy dinners. He thought about sticking with that but knew how quickly he would grow irritated with it. He wasn't that bad off, he ate healthy enough and took care of his body.

On that note, he checked his phone for the seventh time in five minutes before tossing it aside and finishing his glass, turning to his laptop to do other things, not hearing his phone behind him. 

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, this chapter is short as fuck but who gives a damn?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi gets his four friends to move things for him, Nanaba awes over his baby picture, he worries with Erwin's father, and has a chat with Petra that he hasn't seen in a few weeks. He is reunited with a couple old friends and heads to face his fear, wanting answers until he realizes that he had been ignoring the situation with Erwin for too long.

Levi panicked briefly that next morning when he found the light on his phone flashing, signaling he had a notification. He had fallen asleep that night and completely forgot about it, not checking it once. In horror he checked to instead find that Beatrice had messaged him about moving his mother into her new home and the relief that swept over him made him fall back on the couch and let out a long sigh before responding.

He had Mike and Nana in the moving truck at his mother's apartment at nine thirty, ten minutes after his mother left with her friend for the day. He needed Beatrice to distract her for as long as possible that day, taking her to the movies, shopping, lunch, maybe another movie depending on how quickly they could do things that day. Hange showed at the apartment as well to help move things in to the back of the truck. The plan was simple in his eyes, move things out of the apartment and into her new home like she had had her things for the past decade, putting everything in place. They went to such reaches to take pictures of each corner and room to mirror it exactly in her new home. 

The heat got to them soon and Levi tossed some water to the tallest male, who was being worked the hardest due to his height and strength. The smallest male was still working in the apartment with Hange, who seemed to have an endless supply of energy and was always ready to help. When the truck was mostly full, Moblit forced he and Hange to take a break, filling them with water and food he bought as Nana got back to work to organize the older woman's photos into boxes before she walked out, smiling. 

''Levi,'' she said in a cheerful tone and he glanced up at her as she turned a photograph around. ''You're a little penguin.'' 

Instantly everyone was swarming her and the box of photos, looking at the current one in her hand whcih showed Levi in his first onsie. His mother loved penguins, so she had dressed her son up as one one year when he was a few months old. He pulled the photo from her hand and tossed it in the box. ''Stop, there's embarrassing shit in here.''

Mike chuckled and followed his girlfriend back inside to continue moving things. It was now just a few boxes to get in the truck and to the new house, and Levi was checking every corner of the house, checking for secret holes that his mother may have been hiding things in. Whenever Kenny would come around, she would make secret places to hide her things in, knowing he was there for her belongings and for anything of worth. There wasn't much, but when he and Moblit were moving a painting off of the wall, they found a little cubby carved into the wall. He peered inside and pulled a small box covered in dust out, coughing away from it before heading to the truck with the painting. 

''That's all.'' he stated and Hange high fived everybody before he climbed into the truck, leading everyone to the destination with the box in his lap. 

First, the realtor gave him the keys, next the five worked on getting the bigger furniture in, next her smaller items, decorations, cleaning most things off since Levi decided he had to, and then checking that everything was in place. He looked around, found a broad shelf of items standing in front of him, and set the small box on the shelf, painting hung up in the hallway. 

In her apartment, it looked like it would have been full, but here, it still looked pretty empty. Hange was carrying their old television in and was hooking it up with Moblit at their side. Mike and Nana were stocking the bathrooms with toilet paper, new towels and shampoo while Levi was in the kitchen, bedroom, and garage to organize things. He knew she'd probably want the boxes for something, so he folded them up and placed them in the garage, in the kitchen he stocked it with food, got her new kitchen utensils. The bedroom he made her bed with new covers he had bought, placed a lamp beside her table and filled up the conjoining bathroom as well.

By the end of the day, each person was exhausted and sweating, even Hange was starting to sputter out and Levi heard a knock on the door. Each person perked up and he answered it, seeing his mother with a blindfold on behind Beatrice. He took her hand carefully, helped her up the step and into the home.

''Do I need to remove my shoes?" she asked

''Only if you want,'' Beatrice answered and Kuchel took her shoes off carefully before she was lead to the center of the living room by her son before he went to stand with his friends. ''Alright, go ahead.''

She slowly removed the blindfold and looked around, slightly surprised and wondering what the hell her son was up to. ''Surprise,'' he said and she looked to him.

''Levi...'' she said. ''What?"

''I bought you a house.'' 

The woman didn't know how to properly react to that, and moved around her new home, dumbfounded before she ended up in her sons arms, crying and thanking him. He held her tightly, ignoring the stares from his friends and Beatrice before she smacked his arm gently. ''I told you to not spend all your money on me!"

''I didn't. I just spent some.'' he answered and she sighed, causing him to smile a bit before she went to hug the others and thank each of them. During the evening, she explored her house more, her small backyard, met her neighbors, and talked about Levi's baby pictures which caused him to slink away from everyone before the evening was over.

He was planning on visiting Erwin that next day, or more of peering at him through the window again, so he left his mother to gossip with her friend, heading home. He wanted desperately to speak with Erwin, inform him on all he had done that day, or at least tell him he was going to be okay.

So far he had been notified that nothing had grown better, nor worse which he guessed was a relief. Papa Smith was in desperate need of something to go well, and Levi was too. The rest of the friend group was stressing about it as well, he knew all were fearing for the worse at that point.

~*~

He was there at ten thirty, not long after visiting hours started and slowed his steps when he found papa Smith standing there, hand on his mouth and tears in his eyes. Levi avoided looking in through the window and instead distracted the other male.

''What's wrong?" he asked, waiting for the bad news. 

''I'm... Just terrified.'' he had every reason to be. His son was dying in front of him, his little boy and there wasn't much more he could do than put his money into chemotherapy and keep the machines running. It was that or hospice, but Erwin was going to power through. 

Levi avoided the window, avoided looking at his friend and did what he could to make the other man's day better, telling him about his previous day's events and doing what he could before giving each other goodbyes. He watched the man walk to use the bathrooms as he went back home. That afternoon he was on the phone with Hange.

''Have you heard anything from Petra lately?" he asked, noting the absence of the other woman.

''No, not lately. I think she's been busy with work.''

''Should I give her a call?"

''Perhaps. Hey, what's your plan with Kenny?" they suddenly asked him. 

''I didn't have much of a plan, really. It was just a ridiculous idea sprouted from a half asleep conversation.''

''No no, you were definitely awake during the entire thing.''

''I don't know, Hange. I don't want to go up to his trailer because a dream and your advice lead me there. For all I know it could get me killed. I'm not planning on driving up there anytime soon, if that's what you're thinking.''

''Yeah, whatever.'' they said. ''Call Petra, see if she has any free time and hang out with her. I think it'd be really good for you, especially lately with Erwin and things.''

When their conversation ended, he called Petra and she picked up quickly. ''Levi! Hi!" she chimed from the other line.

''Hey, where have you been? I haven't heard anything from you lately.''

''Work and more work!" she said and sighed. ''How are you?"

He filled her in with the latest things that had been happening, and even mentioned some of his odd dream to her. ''How about coffee, tomorrow morning in Old Town?"

''Yeah, what time?"

''Eleven? Does that work for you?"

''Mhm. I'll see you then.''

Levi was there at eleven the next morning, Petra giving him a big hug when he got there, his favorite tea already on the table she was seated at with her coffee in front of her. Their conversation started out slow, avoiding talk of Erwin before she mentioned Oluo, her not-really-boyfriend. 

They had a few dates, in and out of a relationship since he met the woman, and they never really cemented anything, but now it seemed like they had. 

''He's really nice.'' she said

''You've told me this before,'' he said. ''And then nothing more happened.''

''Well, we really are together now.''

''Good, I'm tired of hearing you complain about relationships.'' she grumbled at him and he sipped his tea with a slight smile before she perked up.

''How's Erwin?" she asked, excited and ready to learn, but the moment his face twitched she sat back. 

''Yeah... Uh. Hm,'' he took another sip to gather his words. ''He's not doing to well. He's had a fever the past few days and we're not allowed to go into his hospital room anymore, actually. We've been told that if we do, it could cause him to hurt more, and he's already having stomach pains.''

''That must be so hard for him...'' she said, eyes soft and filled with worry. 

Levi nodded, tapping the table a few times with a sigh. ''Erwin's still going, though. He'll be okay.'' he promised and she gave a sympathetic smile, setting her hand on his arm when she noticed he was bouncing his leg in nervousness.

''He is a very strong man, and I have no doubt that he will survive this.'' she said, trying to lift his spirits. ''It'll take time, but he'll manage through it. Did he have any plans for afterwards, what he wanted to do with himself?"

She pulled her hand away as his leg calmed. ''He wants to build a damn house.'' he said and snorted softly as she smiled. 

''That's ambitious.''

He shrugged. ''House, pool, shed, wants to do all the plumbing and everything, wants full control.''

''You think he can do it?"

''I know he can.''

Petra smiled and they continued a small chat, rounding it to his dream when it died off into an awkward silence between them both. ''So you're dream about your uncle, you said Hange was trying to solve it?"

''They think it holds some deep meaning about what I'm going through, says I may be clinging onto something from the past, but I don't know what.'' Petra was an attentive listener, a child psycologist for the elementary school down the road. ''I thought I should go and find Kenny, ask him questions but... Really, where would that get me?"

''To answers, maybe,'' she said, putting her hands in her lap. ''But that's only if you think that is the proper decision in your life. To go to Kenny may break some barriers you've been experiencing, and Hange is right. Dreams and nightmares really show your deepest fears and concerns. You just have to wonder if you really want to know the true meaning behind what's going on in the deepest part of your brain because that can be a very scary place and topic at times that you need to be ready for.''

He sat back in his chair, taking another sip of his tea before setting the cup on the table again, thinking over what he had been told before sharing more. He knew he could trust Petra with things, she was a very kind woman, someone he enjoyed being friends with, though sometimes she got a bit too close, but he had no real problems with her. 

She listened closely as he spoke and once he finished about Erwin's dog tags, her eyes widened slightly, and quickly in hopes Levi wouldn't notice. ''Hm,'' she was stumped and he knew it.

''Hange didn't really have a clue as to what that could mean, either.''

''You're a confusing man, Levi,'' she said and gave a quick smile. ''But really, if Erwin has been talking to you a lot about his military years, I can think that thats the only reason why they would be in your dream, or why his mother was in it. But with how he may have described his mother, I don't imagine she would have been as beautiful as you had seen her depicted in her dream. Like you can see a person that looks nothing like me in your dream, but for some reason you immediately feel like that one woman is me, your brain titles that as me even though I am nothing like that. You could have seen a woman you've seen in the past that may have looked like Erwin's mother and simply said 'Oh yeah, and that's Erwin's mom, that's easy,' because that's what your brain does. You see thousands of faces, it's easy to forget them, but in the back of your mind, they're still there, brought up at random times when you don't expect them.''

''So my brain decided that a face I had seen once was his mom...''

''Yeah. Because in a dream, that makes perfect sense, like walking on the ceiling or something, nothing feels out of place until you wake up and start to really think it over.''

Levi gave a careful nod, eyes on the table before she rolled their conversation off to something less stressful to think about. He turned it around to ask her questions about her current relationship and she brightened at that. Usually she thought he didn't care since he never asked much about what she was doing, so it was a nice change for her. When she checked the time she stood quickly.

''Ah, I need to go!" she said and he stood as well, picking up their empty cups before she took hers and downed the rest of her coffee.

''Got a date?" he asked and she elbowed him softly.

''Maybe,''' he smiled a little and walked out with her, tossing their cups away. At her car, he went to give her a side hug but instead she wrapped both of her arms around him and held him tightly. He relaxed a bit into it and hugged back before pulling away.

''Alright, alright, that's enough.'' he said, only lighthearted and she smiled, climbing into her car and waving to him.

In his car, he let the air conditioner cool him down for a bit before he pulled his phone from his pocket and typed a bit, hesitating to hit send but when he did, felt better and tossed the phone aside, driving home. When he arrived back, he found four new messages and smiled down at the screen before responding.

~*~

Levi was cooking himself breakfast when several loud knock were heard at the door and he walked to check it quickly, finding the red haired girl standing there with a large smile before she launched into a hug, causing him to stumble back, but he hugged back as well.

''Isabel,'' he said, surprised. ''What are you doing here?"

She pulled back. ''You said you were having a shit time, so I figured out your address and came over.''

''Isabel...'' he said and she hugged him again. 

''I'm not going to let my bro be stuck in such a bad situation.'' she sniffed the air, tossing her bag on his couch and rushing to the kitchen. ''I want some!'

''No! Don't touch anything or I swear-''

The woman giggled, being swatted away from the omelete he was making and was forced to watch instead of eat. He flipped slipped it onto a plate and cut it in half, one half for his friend and the other half for himself. They sat down in the living room, using the coffee table as their table and she dug in.

''So how have things been?" he asked and her eyes grew big as she looked up at him, mouth still full.

''Amazing!" she mumbled through the food and covered her hand to swallow properly when noticing the look coming from the other. ''My works have been selling fast, and I have enough money to get to Farlan.''

''Oh, and where is he now?"

''I'm thinking... Russia? I think... But anyways-'' she shoved another forkful in her mouth as he ate slowly. ''He wants to try on getting back over here, too. And my teacher at uni hung up one of my paintings!"

''Wow,'' he said, impressed with her. ''I'm proud of you.'' her face brightened and he stabbed his fork into his food. ''What time did you get up to come here, Bel? It's seven.''

''Three in the morning.'' she said and smiled after swallowing her bite.

''You're gonna crash on my couch at noon, aren't you?"

She laughed and nodded, done with her plate. ''But I can help with things, too!"

''Clean up your plate that'll help.'' She was up like a light and he felt the wind past him, blowing his hair back and he finished up slowly before taking his plate to the dishwasher, adjusting how hers was set inside before she wanted to go to the nearby mall, just for old times sake. 

He drove her there, telling her everything from the day he found out about the cancer to the day before when he had messaged her, finishing halfway through their stroll around the mall and she took him to the food court to get him his all time favorite ice cream before sitting with him. She listened as he told her his worries and concerns for what was to come, what had happened, but brightened the mood with talking about his mother. 

Isabel always loved his mother, Kuchel took care of her and Farlan like they were her own, and in Levi's eyes, they were. They were his adopted siblings, always had been, always will be, and Isabel's timing was perfect. He was slowly breaking under his own fears and built upon stress about Erwin, thinking day in and day out about what Erwin was telling him, thinking about how much pain his friend must have been in during his time in the military, always thinking back to high school.

He wished Falran was there too, he was calmer and he missed him, but was still grateful for Isabel and all her ridiculous jokes when trying to lighten the mood. Then he came across to telling her about the plan with Kenny and instantly regretted it.

''I wanna go too!" 

''I never said I was actually going, Bel.''

''I still wanna go.''

''I don't- Talk to Hange about it or something, I don't know what you want me to tell you.''

''I want you to tell me I can go with you up to the mountains to fuck with Kenny.''

''Did I ever say I was actually doing it?"

''You lead me on to believe that you were going to.''

''I guess I did...''

''I wanna goooo up there and fuck with Kenny, please?''

''No.''

She gave a pout at him and he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. ''I'll think on it.'' she kicked his leg lightly under the table with a big smile.

''You love me really.''

''Like the irritating little sister you are,'' he answered while they stood to go.

Back at his apartment, he gave her the directions to cook while he messaged Hange, simutaneously writing something up on his laptop. His phone buzzed instantly and he opened up the message. 

'i wanna see her'

''You can tomorrow if you come over. But would you come with me if I decide to go up there?"

'ya'

''Thanks. She's itching to go and I didn't really say much about it.''

'u prob said more than u thought u did'

Isabel set a plate of food in front of him and it looked pretty good and he dug in as she sat on the couch behind him and ate. ''I'll message you in the morning if I decide on going.''

'k.'

'pls decide on going'

He set his phone on the table beside him and continued eating dinner, wondering if he should message the older Smith, but thought it best to not disturb him. If something was happening at that time, he would no doubt find out quickly.

His phone was silent for the evening so he decided that worrying would be a waste of time.

~*~

Fingers drummed against the leather cover of the steering wheel, eyes trained on the little horn imprint as he waited in silence, starting to regret his decision. He could turn back, grab some lunch, forget about it and tell Isabel to drop it and ignore the onslaught of questions from both Hange and his friend. But no. They were sitting in the driveway now in front of a run down trailer.

Both Hange and Isabel were staring at him, waiting for him to do something. It was fifteen minutes of just pure silence between them all until Levi's anxious drumming began, then it turned into ten minutes of drumming before Hange reached forth to flick him softly. Their finger collided with his head and he twitched away, swatting their hands away before wiping sweaty palms on his jeans. He reached for the door handle and pushed it open, going to step out.

''If you hear something from inside, come in and help me,'' he said, then taking notice of Farlan sitting in the back.

''You think this is a good idea?" he asked and the other two smacked him. 

''We spent so long waiting for him to make a decision, stop it!" Isabel warned. 

It was a full month after Isabel came to visit before he decided to go up to the mountains, Farlan only arriving that morning in order to surprise him but it backfired and he was swept up in the mess that had become his life. His luggage sat in the trunk and he sat in the backseat with Hange since Levi didn't trust them enough up close to the radio.

Isabel had driven back from LA for it and Hange had even got up early to go. He shut the door behind himself and began walking to the door of the trailer. At least he had some respect to knock, he always remembered Kenny either yelling until the door was opened or breaking in.

Cigarette smoke hit him when the first door was opened, a cloud wafting through the screen door towards him and he could barely make out the malnourished shape of Kenny before a forced laugh could be heard, followed by the screen door opening. 

Wrinkled, disgusting to smell and look at, all that Kenny was. He had grown to look more like the greasy rat he was and he was smiling with yellowed teeth. ''You haven't grown since last time I saw your miserable ass,'' Kenny stated, taking in a deep breath and coughing. 

Levi glared up at him, hands at his sides. ''You look as unhealthy as usual.'' he said and the other man finished coughing, stepping inside his trailer and Levi followed in to watch him take a deep breath from the oxygen tank at the foot of his bed. 

Clouds of just smoke wafted around the trailer home, none of the windows were open and the man was killing himself slowly by simply breathing in the air. Levi raised the back of his hand to his nose since the stench was unbearable before looking back over to the man, finding him smoking again.

''What brought you here, Levi?"

No doubt the man would mock him if he explained the real reason, so he thought for a moment on what to say. ''I wanted answers.''

The man brushed past Levi and seated himself at the dining area, shoving papers out of the way. ''About what? You mother? Why I came to you both? Shit she could easily answer?"

''No. About Patricia Smith.''

Kenny actually froze, nearly dropped his cigarette into the pile of papers spread about his feet before looking up at Levi, who was against touching anything or sitting anywhere. ''Why that woman?"

''Because I know you have dirt on every fucker that lives up here.'' he answered. That was as much of an explanation as he was going to give. The older man set his hands on the table in front of himself, coughing in an ugly way.

''What do you want to know about her?"

''How long ago did she go to jail?"

''Oh... More than ten years ago. She's in there for life. What's she to you?"

''Nothing. But did you know her family?"

''I saw her son around a lot after the trial, knew her husband. I'm not saying anything more until you tell me why you're here specifically.''

''Answers, Kenny, I want answers. I expect you give them to me.''

''And why should I?"

''You want to share all the deepest secrets of everyone before you die, and I know you don't have much time left, we both do. So here's your time to.''

''Fine...''

''What else did you know about them?"

''Her husband was from Germany, a history teacher. They moved away after the trial, which I'm guessin you know about.'' Kenny put the oxygen mask on his face before setting it aside again. ''Her son went off somewhere with his dad afterwards, and I never expected to find them back at your home.''

''Wasn't that a pleasant surprise?"

''Can't believe you came up here and took my shit, too.''

''You stole our belongings, our money that was being spent with saving my mothers life. Donated by them. I want to know why you treated your sister like that and why you stayed away after they chased you off. Like a dog, I might add.'' he was beginning to raise his voice.

''I'm not a good fuckin' person, Levi. There's my explanation. Shit... With them I guess I was just so damn shocked to see that boy alive with his dad that I decided to not go back to you two and continue stealin'. I didn't realize my mistakes, still won't. But since they were there, I decided to stand back. We come from different places, but I had some respect for those two in that time. Still do. I stayed away because I knew... Knew that it was time I stopped hurting my own blood. I also knew that with how hard that fucker punched me that he was now protecting you, your ma, and the boy. And that damn boy was protecting you with everything in him.''

Something seemed to roll off of Levi's shoulders, slowly seperate from his chest and he stood straighter before heading to the door. ''I don't even get a thank you?" the other asked and he looked over his shoulder at him.

''I hope this trailer burns to the ground with you in it.''

The door was slammed behind him as the other male started coughing and laughing. Levi walked towards the car, taking in a sharp intake of breath, smelling the pine before he sat in the car with a content sigh, turning the car on. All three stared at him as he began reversing to turn it around before driving down the dirt road, back to the main road. 

''There's a Mexican restaurant not too far from here, is anyone hungry?" he asked, looking to Isabel in the seat beside him before his eyes flicked up to the others.

They nodded and he drove to where Erwin had told it was located once, pulling up and parking. They got a seat out on the balcony and Levi realized he smelled of cigarette smoke. Probably reeked of it but they ordered anyways, Levi sipping his Sprite before sitting back.

''Well are you gonna explain what happened or what?" Isabel asked. He sighed heavily, letting the weight of the situation fall away. He had begun winding himself up about the past few weeks, and now he felt much much better.

''Fucker is smoking and using an oxygen mask at the same time.'' he began.

They all listened closely, none of them touching their food as it reached their table before he finished, listening to his stomach growl for food. He scooped up a forkful of rice and began eating, watching Hange take several photos of their food before digging in. 

It was rather quiet between the four of them, Hange crunching on the chips there as well, eating their full plate and finishing up quickly, eating the entire next bowl of chips before everyone paid for the food and headed back to the car. Hange and Isabel went to use the bathroom, leaving Farlan and Levi out at the car alone. 

''I heard Erwin got cancer.'' Farlan said.

''Yeah. That pretty much sums up everything that's been happening the past several weeks.'' he said, unlocking the car as the other two arrived back. It was a fourty minute drive back home and he dropped Hange off at their house before heading back to the apartment with the other two who were sleepy from their food. 

Isabel fell asleep with her head on Farlans not even ten minutes after arriving home and Farlan was asleep as well. Levi checked his phone after using the rest room to find twenty messages and three missed calls, all from papa Smith.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, do you see it? Another chapter not that long after the last one that is far longer and hopefully better, too.


	9. Chapter 9

His shorts caught the wind as he ran, running as soon as his feet hit the pavement. His laces were loose, flying around as shouts came from his friends from behind him, blue eyes darting around rapidly before the glass doors seperated and allowed him to rush inside, sliding to a stop in front of the desk. The woman sitting there handed him a slip quickly and he darted from the desk, rushing to the elevator.

He hit the button multiple times, Isabel and Farlan barely slipping inside as the doors shut and he hit which floor he wanted to go to. Once they opened, he ran out, rushing towards the hospital room that had become his friends home the past few months. He wasn't going to allow it to be his resting place as well.

Levi turned the corner, lungs and legs screaming, Isabel trying to slow him down before his eyes landed on the group standing there, each person either crying or had tears in their eyes. Papa Smith turned to face him, tears streaking his aged face and large pools reflecting in his eyes. Levi slowed, coming to a jog, not wanting to face what had happened, not wanting to face the guilt within his heart. Four other pairs of eyes looked towards him, each sad, one pair utterly hollow and he could feel tears beginning to burn at the back of his own eyes. The male slowed, each person watching him silently as the other two came to a stop behind him, Levi slowly looking in through the window towards his friend, watching a nurse quietly adjust his friends blankets before she walked towards them. 

Erwin was barely there, mostly bones with a thin layer of skin on them at that point. His cheekbones were shadowed, eyes hollow and barely taking recognition of the ceiling, chest rising slowly. The blond blinked at a slow pace, slowly accepting what was happening, eyes shutting and staying closed, doing far better than Levi was in that situation. 

''Say goodbye, Levi,'' the voice was unfamiliar, the setting familiar to a time back in high school.

At that time, Erwin had laid on the bed, unconcious and unhealthy, gripping a pillow his father had brought him from home. Levi carefully walked through the door, coming to the bedside slowly and letting himself sit in the blue chair beside his friend, brushing away his blond locks away from his still very young face. Erwin was always so peaceful when he slept, mouth open and beautiful eyelashes brushing against his skin, breathing evenly before he began twitching. The raven haired man had sat there, slowly inching his hand closer. Instantly his friend had recognized the feel of his friends hand and had intertwined their fingers in his sleep, holding on tightly. The taller man had taken comfort in his own actions and relaxed more into the bed he laid upon. At that time, Levi laid his head beside their hands, keeping watch on his friends hand, promising he would stay with him until the very end.

Now, he slowly came back to the grim reality and pulled the door open, the air around him distasteful, room lost of color. He walked slowly to the grey chair beside his friends bed, eyes moving across the sharp angles of his friend's body. He lowered himself, eyes still on the other, looking at how peaceful he was becoming with the slow last moments of his life.

''Erwin...'' he managed out, a weak whisper. The other made no movement to look to him, to take note that he was there and Levi completely ignored the silent heart rate machine standing over them. ''I'm here,'' he said, pushing his tongue up against the back of his teeth to quiet the cries that wanted to be freed before his teeth clenched and he raised a hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. Tears seeped from his eyelids and dropped down onto his lap, Levi shutting his eyes and clenching them shut before taking in a deep breath, opening them again to look at the pale and skinny hand sitting on the bed beside the still body of the other.

''You know you promised,'' he said, continuing his conversation. He must have looked ridiculous from behind the glass, talking to the silent other. ''But...'' he bit his tongue, lifting his hand instead to the other's, setting it carefully on the cold skin before he coughed out a cry and looked down at his lap. His fingers fully enveloped the others and he took the others hand in both of his, choking out cries. They were silent but filled with all he was unable to say the past several weeks.

That young boy, bright eyed, happy and waiting for what next the world brought him stood so brightly in the sun. His hair, his eyes shined, his smile as well as he dragged Levi to the park for a barbecue. The other time when all shined was when he reached forth to hug the smaller boy, enveloping him tightly and giving a happy laugh, thanking him for his present when Levi first spent the night at his house for his friends birthday. 

The young teen, only a few pimples dotting his face, some facial hair struggling to develop, his hair and smile shining as he took Levi to the amusement park, only his second day of driving. The smile shined again when Levi got a hole in one and that warm hug was given again, warm laugh hitting his ears.

The young man, smile still holding on as he was clutching his diploma, standing in the crowd of flowing white graduating gowns, laughing once he realized that Levi was smiling at him. Instead of teasing, he picked his friend up and spun him around, congratulating him on the feat that seemed almost impossible at the young age of eleven. That same young man who was packing his car, no smile, no shine, scared for what laid ahead yet at the same time excited who finished by hugging his small friend for five minutes, not wanting to let go. The shining smile when he introduced the beautiful woman on his arm, light laughter and happy smiles tossed around that evening, shining like the lights that sat on the fence outside.

The young man was no longer shining as he dropped his duffel bag down on the tile floor, uniform sitting on his tired body as he opened his arms, being enveloped in a large hug by his father, pushing his face into this father's neck. The same tired man leaning into Levi on the bench outside that night, both watching the stars like they were unable to do for so long. Close and caring, caring for each other in a way they were unable to do for two full years. 

And he was leaving. But he looked comfortable, head sitting on the small pillow, legs sprawled out across the mattress, one hand sitting on his chest while the other was held tightly within both of the others. Levi pulled himself together, finding that he had set his forehead against the fingers of his friends hand while thinking back. He slowly opened his eyes and sniffled, pulling his head up and looking towards the peaceful face of the other, rubbing his thumb softly against the back of his hand before letting out a shaky breath.

''You promised but-'' he wet his now dry lips before tapping his thumb against the others hand. ''You're allowed to break promises. Let go and rest, please. You need it, so badly. Tell your comrades I said hi, too. Hug them, like you don't ever want to let go, give them that choking bear hug you always give.'' tears streamed his face and he slowly lowered his head again before the smallest of squeezes was given by the other.

He flicked his eyes up towards their hands, scanning over them and waiting a moment, not expecting much before another came, stronger this time and he slowly began to comprehend the situation. Not soon after he looked up to Erwin's face, waiting for a sign of something before he squeezed Erwin's hand, feeling him respond not long after that. His mouth opened to speak before the door opened and someone brushed past, checking Erwin's pulse before Levi was dragged out, wanting to stay with the other male.

Outside the hospital room, he was hugged tightly by someone, reality not close enough for him to recognize them or recognize much more. All he did was focus on the men and women inside the hospital room through the window, watching them alongside the silence that dwelled. He slowly lifted his hand and set it on the once placed over his heart, watching the male in the bed silently before he was snapped awake further and lead away with the rest of the group.

Like a band of miserable idiots, everyone sat around in the hospital cafeteria, some with food, others without. Mike continued to make sure Nanaba was calm, making sure she was full and she did the same in return. Hange was holding a very tired looking Moblit across from them, Moblit with his face squished against the others shoulder as Hange placed their chin on the others head. Isabel and Farlan sat on Levi's right side, further away from the rest of the group, Isabel with her head on her arms and the other slumped back in his chair. Levi lifted his eyes from them to the oldest man there who he found to be watching him with hopeful eyes. He dropped his sight back into the depths of his tea and lifted the paper cup to his lips for another sip. 

It was the only thing keeping him awake, that and the adrenaline and supreme amount of hope in his heart. What a flurry of emotions he had gone through in less than a minute at sitting beside Erwin. He excused himself for a moment, walking to the bathrooms down the hall. Levi ran his hands under the faucet before washing his face, letting the water drop back into the sink a moment before he heard steps follow him inside. In the reflection of the mirror, he found Mike using the urinal. He ripped some paper towels out and dried his hands and face before throwing them in the rubbish. 

Mike looked to him and washed up, the two standing in silence as Levi used the sink for leverage. ''What were you thinking about in there?" he asked and Levi lifted his eyes to him. ''In the room with Erwin.''

His sight dropped back to his tired reflection before looking down at the water droplets on the counter. ''What Erwin used to be like. When he was... Lively.'' he breathed out the last word before standing straighter, feeling his back pop. ''Younger and informing me on every little thing about his day, dragging me places. Just- I wished he wouldn't have to go yet, and then he squeezed my hand.''

The taller man hummed before bringing Levi forth, hugging him. Silence rose and Levi stood, squashed against the other mans chest, a large pat being placed on his back before the other pulled away. Both looked at each other briefly before silently exiting the bathroom, noticing there was a man watching them. Back in the cafeteria, he noticed papa Smith conversing with Isabel, Hange, Moblit, and Nanaba all half asleep. Farlan was walking back with several cups of coffee for everyone to keep them awake. Levi sat back down, slumping back as a fresh cup of tea was placed on the table and he sipped it, papa Smith looking from the redhead to him. 

''Are you alright?" Levi asked in worry and the man nodded, giving a very gentle, very tired smile in return. 

''He's fine, I'm fine,'' he answered and Levi nodded softly, offering an equally tired smile. He checked his phone to find it was around twelve in the morning and sat back, sipping his tea more as the other slowly regained their energy. At around two in the morning nearly everyone was asleep, besides Levi who was dozing in and out but not getting anywhere. At one moment he was glancing around at everyone, making sure they were comfortable in their chairs before shutting his eyes.

A gentle hand touched his shoulder and he jumped awake, taking in a deep breath to find Hange waking him quietly. ''Hey there,'' they said and smiled. ''Erwin's awake and we decided to let you sleep longer.'' Sunlight was filtering in through the tall windows and the chairs around him were empty, several people walking through, some wearing scrubs, others with tear streaked faces looking roughed up. 

Levi lifted a hand to his face and rubbed his eyes, dragging his hand down. ''How long has he been awake?"

''An hour now.''

''What time is it?"

''Eleven. He doesn't want to eat his ultimately healthy food and all we can do is stand at the window and motion.'' He pushed himself up, starting to head to the hospital room. Hange skipped behind him and he found the group standing at the window, each person smiling, still exhausted. He peered into the window to find Erwin watching everybody before pointing from him to the plate of food he needed to eat with a scowl. The other man smiled softly and slowly began eating. It was a lot of trying to figure out conversation through the window while Erwin ate, sometimes Levi resorted to sign language to communicate with his friend and Erwin occasionally signed back in response. 

There wasn't much more anyone could do from then forth without putting Erwin in danger again of another high fever, so slowly the group began to seperate, go home to rest before the work day and before the next visit to the hospital. Isabel and Farlan left him alone to go start the car up and get the air conditioning going and Levi stood still, long direct eye contact between he and the other male now finishing up his meal.

The man placed his plate and fork to the side before signing something out, Levi watching the motions of his fingers and wrists before smiling and signing as well. 

''Of course I'll be back tomorrow.''

~*~

Exhaustion took over and Levi collided into his bed, air conditioner running, all fans on within the apartment, Farlan was snoring away in the guest bedroom and Isabel was too. He was unable to sleep more, simply laid awake with the fans running before messaging his mother, informing him on the past events and also made sure she was alright where she was before letting his phone slip from his hand to get up and get a glass of water. 

Erwin should have died in that moment. But he should have been dead multiple times in multiple areas but still he lived on. The first time would have been the driveway of his old home up in the mountain town he grew up in. The next the floor of the second story bathroom in his home, the third should have been an incident on the highway. Fourth time Erwin had probably hoped would be on the battlefield, serving alongside his friends, fifth time at least being taken out by the explosion caused by the misfired gun. The last time, in the hospital room and Levi still couldn't get over how peaceful his friend seemed, slowly leaving to accompany death in his final moments.

He seemed so happy to be finally able to let go, to be at peace with himself, see all those he had made friends with and be with them again. But instead something in him brought him back, stayed alive long enough for the nurses and doctors to treat him, long enough to see Levi one more time. 

That's what always happened. The nurses and doctors surrounded him with metal objects, medication and kind words so Erwin could face another day and continue on, sometimes it felt like just to see Levi again. And his discharges from the hospital were looked over, instead times of great hope for what was to come for the blond man. Hopefully this next one would be the last one before someone perhaps had a baby that he could coo over and cuddle like his own. That was always a happy image, seeing Erwin playing with kids. 

The man was excellent at it, and all kids loved him. For his strength he was perfect at picking them up, his stature for being able to climb all over, and his good heart that was always ready for a good cuddle. Those little kids he may have one day would one day grow up to be just like their father, and Levi sometimes couldn't wait to see what the next generation of Smith's would be like. Just as kind as their father, no doubt, and just as tall. 

Of course that was the downside, in Levi's eyes, especially if he had kids of his own. Kids would stop growing in the seventh grade while their blond friends towered over them. But hey, the taller man was always a source of shade.

Levi realized how well Erwin had gotten from his military time, his drinking had ended as quickly as they all had found out about it and rehab was a short journey for him. He was then careful afterwards, and he could see the genuine look on his friend's face when he said he didn't want more than just one drink. He sipped his water and made his way back to his bedroom, setting his glass on the table before slumping back into bed, making sure his phone was on and closeby.

He received no more notifications that day, and while making dinner for the three in his home he made sure at least one of them had an eye on it. Farlan was chatting to him, updating him on his life and what he had done while Levi cooked further, Isabel keeping her eye directly on the phone. Plates were served and still his phone was nearby, only dinging when the lights were off and he was climbing into bed. He opened up the message and rubbed his eyes to look at the screen to see a message from Erwin.

'':P''

A small laugh left him as he began typing back, telling him to go to bed and set his phone on his nightstand before turning over again. 

'':)''

~*~

When Erwin's skin came to a far healthier tone than it had been in the past, the scar on the side of his head was absolutely massive. It looked far more painful than it had the few times Levi had seen it, and he currently sat in the hospital room, staring at the long scar on the others head as he talked with his doctor, far more cheerful now.

As the blond looked at him, Levi flicked his eyes to the doctor and brought them back to the other man before he raised up his hands, giving a thumbs up. The doctor left them in silence before Levi sat back, glancing back to the scar. 

''You've showed me the scar before I just never...'' he started and slowly trailed off once he realized the words actually left his mouth. He could see the wonderous look on the others face and guilt began to drip away. 

''Never comprehended how it actually came to be?" He shook his head slowly and the other man flicked on the television. ''What is it then?"

''Never fully looked at it. Not for a long time, at least. But your hair has always been parted in a way that even if I tried it would be covered. But now you're a bald slug, so.''

Erwin actually laughed softly, letting his head fall back against the pillow with a small smile. ''Bald slug, thanks Levi.''

''It's true. But you look like a happy bald slug.''

''I am happy. Very happy. I'm alive and planning some good things for my future.''

That was the first time Levi ever heard the man ever say he was happy to be alive, to be able to continue living on in the world. Once the other had even said he didn't want to live anymore, and the expression on his face while he laid motionless in the hospital bed several times were something to go by. But now, it seemed like he forgot and forgave whatever he was struggling with, at least to some point; to where he could smile with his eyes now accompanying it. 

''Happy slug. Happy bald slug.'' Levi said and Erwin rolled onto his side to look at Levi better, getting his IV wrapped around his arm but he slowly began untangling it. 

''When I get my hair back, you won't be able to call me bald slug.''

''I can still call you a slug though. And how much longer do you have of chemo?"

''Ha!" the other said and fully untangled himself. ''So you weren't listening to the doctor!"

''He was being boring!" he said defensivley. ''Don't back me into a wall here, answer my question.''

''Doctor was explaining that all of my tumors are gone, I won't have to do much chemotherapy anymore, and I'm healthier altogether.'' he gave a happy smile. 

''Happy slug is a healthy slug.'' Levi said and Erwin grumbled. 

''Don't make that my nickname.''

''You made my nickname short stuff in junior year, I get to call you whatever I damn well please.''

''But I'm happy for you, Erwin. Honestly.'' he looked at him and the other looked back, large pools of tears swimming in them. ''Erwin?" he began to push himself from his chair to check on the other and Erwin began to cry, pushing his face into his hands. 

Levi was at his bedside, more of sitting on the mattress and pulled him close. He hugged him tightly, the other sniffling into his shoulder. He was going to say that he had never moved that fast in his life, but then realized the multiple other times his friend was in emotional danger where he moved quickly to help him. Erwin was holding on tightly to his shirt, crying into it before slowly dying down to sniffles and a few gentle coughs. When he pulled away, Levi heard a quiet ''uh oh'' leave his mouth and he looked down at the tear stain on his shirt.

''Got snot and shit on me.'' he said, the other already wiping it off with a laugh. Levi looked up at him. ''Are you okay?"

''Happy tears. Really happy tears.'' he said and swallowed before giving a tired smile.

''You look like a toddler that desperately needs a nap.'' he noted and Erwin laid his head back on his shoulder, draping an arm over him. ''Oh, you're gonna milk it now, are you?"

''Mhm,'' Erwin said and he could feel him smiling. ''I missed Father's day.''

Levi wrapped his arms around him and laid so the other was comfortable on his bed, curled up to him. ''You have a good excuse as to why you couldn't get him anything, Erwin.''

''I feel bad, still,'' Erwin said, shifting his head to lay it down comfortably, both men laying comfortably on the bed. ''Every year I get him something and I'm there at the crack of dawn to see him. This year I felt bad, pushing the idea that I had cancer out of my head.''

''It's been your number one priority for the past decade. You treat it like it's Christmas, I've seen you two when that day rolls around. You even invited me to celebrate it one year because you wanted me to celebrate it with you.''

''You ate a lot of food that day.''

''I ate a shit ton of food that day.''

The blond chuckled softly before shifting onto his back, both looking up at the ceiling. ''You want to make up for it, don't you?" Levi asked

''Yeah,'' the other whispered softly before shutting his eyes. ''I want to make up for a lot of things that I've missed over the years.''

''Like what?"

''Building myself up.'' he answered, rolling his head to look at Levi. ''I want to be far more independent than I've been in the past. With depression, leading up to my PTSD and having to remind myself to take my medication, it's been hard to do much on my own. Marie was a big help, my comrades in the military were too. My father, you of course, both of you for so long. I just feel like I've been too dependent on everyone around me for too long.''

''Nah,'' Levi answered, rolling his head to look at the other man in return. ''No, never. If anything, everyone has used you for strength. Because you may think you're not strong, but to other people you are what they need to keep going. Ever since I met you in middle school, people have always looked up to you, and not just those kids in the neighborhood that wanted to play baseball like you did in high school. I mean genuine human beings that have dealt with what you have, or have been stuck on the sidelines, or people jut going through a basic struggle look up to you.''

Erwin laughed softly. ''Like who?"

''Mike Zacharius, Hange Zoe, Moblit Berner, Nanaba, your own damn father. Nile fuckin' Dok, Dot Pixis, Petra Ral, Isabel Magnolia, Farlan Church, and me, you fuck.'' he snapped. ''Multiple other people that I don't have the decency to remember their names, but so many people look up to you. No doubt those men and women you served with in the military probably looked up to you too, Erwin. Any person you meet, they look at you and find a reason to admire you, whether it's your voice, face, eyes, goddamn charisma, or just who you are. No matter what people admire you, do you understand me? No matter what you would have an army walking behind, and I'd be right at your side. You wanna know why? Because you're my fuckin' friend, Erwin, and I care about you.''

A soft smile slowly spread on the other's face and he hugged Levi close abruptly. ''You're going to make me cry again, Levi.''

''No more tears, there's been enough of that today.''

Instead laughter replaced the cries and warmth spread through the smaller male's chest at the sound of it before he hugged the other man in return, despite being pinned to the mattress. ''You'll come visit each day?"

''Yeah, of course I will. But did you hear me? Sometimes your head is a little thick.''

Erwin laid back and nodded. ''I heard you, captain.''

He snorted, crossing his arms. ''Good, when are you expected to leave the hospital?"

''When my body weight comes close to normal for a man of my height and age. That means I can eat a lot more as well, and no more stomach pains for me unless I'm hungry. I also need to sort stuff out with work and explain things, see if I can stay working and-''

''You're overthinking, that means it's time for you to sleep.''

''But-''

''Sleep, I'll be here tomorrow.''

Levi sat up to leave but the other placed his hand on his wrist. ''Stay here, for a while longer at least.'' he looked over at him before slumping back, Erwin draping his arm over Levi's chest before he shut his eyes. He set his own head back, tilting it to look down at the other man, watching him silently before reaching to his head, rubbing his thumb against it. Not long after, the blond was asleep, holding onto the smaller male tightly, not wanting to let go.

~*~

When visiting hours were up, he began to shift out of the grip of the other male, an attempt to free himself and stopped once the other began twitching in his sleep. He watched him quietly and reached forth, pulling him awake. Erwin blinked up at him, slightly alarmed as he gripped Levi's wrist, grip becoming tighter and tighter. He had to pull his hand from the other male, hand on his chest before sitting back down on the bed.

''You okay?"

Erwin nodded and he sighed.

''Don't lie to me.''

''Don't ask stupid questions then.'' the other responded. His mind wasn't fully there at that time, Levi knew that much but he still stayed by his side. It took Erwin a while to calm until where he could lay back without sitting up in alarm to check if his friend was still there. 

The raven haired male stayed in his spot, letting the blond hold his hand as he laid in silence. It was two hours later when Erwin finally fell asleepp and Levi simply hoped his friend would be able to get his medication soon at give in to seeing a therapist.

Erwin never liked the word ''therapist''. He said it made him feel like he belonged in an insane asylum, or that he was unfit for an everyday job. There was a long conversation between them both when Levi began his explanation, and the other was reluctant to say much more. He was always reluctant about everything, especially when it came to his mental health, but he had learned from previous times so was hopefully wiser about it all and his decisions that would pave the course of his health. 

Levi hated the fact that Erwin was still worrying about that shit job. It had been forgotten about until now, and they both knew that there would be no sympathy given for his lost time at work, and no paid leave for him either. Next on the blond's agenda list would no doubt be getting a job, hopefully a better one that made him happier. He still didn't know what his friend had studied for at his university, so that would be a surprise and hopefully something that could help the blond. A teaching job in the rising schools would be the best, and like he had said before, Erwin was great with kids so there was no doubt that he would be fantastic at it.

Out in the heat, he stomped to his car and carefully seated himself in the leather interior surrounded by burning metal that would no doubt cook him if he dared to touch anything. He turned the car on and quickly pressed mutiple buttons to cool him down before setting off to inform the others on what was happening.

At that time of day, which was then six in the evening, each couple would be at home with each other in a relaxing setting, and he sort of felt guilty for coming and invading their privacy, so instead he drove to his mother's new home to check on her and how she was doing. Last he heard, she was still adjusting to it and was thinking on getting a puppy. When he walked through the door, a small dog sniffed his leg and they both had a staring contest as his mother rushed off into the kitchen to get them water. It was a chihuahua, round like a log with stick legs that shook at him pathetically and tried wagging it's small tail. The dog was the absolute definition of ugly, but for some reason his mother loved it and decided to adopt it. 

It continued watching him and seeking attention from him as he sat back and relaxed in the comfort of the new couch he had bought his mother with a glass of water in hand as he tried informing her on the situation with Erwin and work. The dog resorted to pawing at him, sometimes licking his hand and he pulled his hand away before reluctantly petting it at the soft look from his mother. He avoided any conversation about where he had been when he had ignored the messages from papa Smith, instead informed her on the day's events, or his thoughts on the weather before she resorted to pulling the glass from his hands and pulling the dog from him to sit on her far side so he had no more distractions.

''Levi Ackerman you tell me this instant.'' he may have been a grown man, but in that moment that she muttered both of his names in such a tone, he felt like a little boy that had broken a plate on the tile floor. His eyes even widened before he narrowed them at the floor, acting as if it was his enemy before muttering out his response. ''I can't hear you.''

''I went up to Kenny's.'' he said, a little louder in hopes that she couldn't hear him, but given by the strong silence that shot through the room, it was apparent that she had. Blue eyes slowly shifted from the floor to his mother and he looked at her aged face with a softer expression before she began petting her little log.

''Why were you up there?" she asked. How would she feel if he told her it was because a dream had lead him there, to go up to Kenny and talk to him, ask him questions? He was afraid that even she would think he had lost his mind, but instead he explained the dream to her. It was his mother, for Christ's sake, she was never pushy about information in his childhood, never dragged something out of him besides rare times, and they were always close. Instead of an odd look, she listened with determination in her eye and he ended with one question.

''How did you know I had missed the messages?"

''His father told me,'' she said. Papa Smith had become her friend like Erwin had become Levi's, and they talked frequently, sometimes going out for lunch like old friend which was a nice relaxing time for her so she didn't have to worry about work and her son. ''He was worried that something had happened to me and that was why you hadn't responded.''

He could feel guilt trying to pry its way through but she spoke again.

''You got what you wanted from him?"

''It made no sense, though,'' he answered, setting his hands in his lap and avoiding eye contact. ''But I feel so much better for some reason.''

''Sometimes, words do justice more than actions given by the law or karma could.'' 

The glass was replaced in his hand and the small dog waddled over to him and sat down, shaking at him again. He thought deeply on what she said, avoiding the shaking dog. 

'Words do justice more than actions given by the law or karma could.'

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's hope that this was not a dissapointment.


	10. Chapter 10

Mike and Nana's place was always nice to be at, it was roomy yet comfortable and thankfully enough they had a pool. While Erwin finished up his treatment, Levi was instead dragged over to their place by a persistent Hange, dressed in shorts and a loose tee shirt while Hange ran in wearing their bathing suit that consisted of board shorts and a tank top. 

Moblit was already there, seated with his legs in the water while speaking with Mike who offered Levi a beer when he walked out of the back door. His fingers wrapped around the bottle and he thanked him before kicking his shoes off and setting the towel that Hange had let him borrow down as well, seating himself by the pool beside Moblit. The other man offered a smile and he gave a nod in return before sipping the beer he had been given, Hange cannonballing into the pool.

Nana was sitting on the steps that lead into the water with a can of soda near her, sunglasses sitting on her nose whilst all her hair was pushed back from her face, smile sitting on her face as Mike waded in to sit beside her. Moblit looked down at his legs as Hange swam up and resurfaced, smiling up at him and he smiled back warmly.

Each person had a loving look on their face as they watched the people beside them and Levi lifted the bottle to his lips again, pressing them against it softly before he took a sip. He watched as each of the couples kissed softly and he felt warped to another time yet again. It was hot that day, sounds of students cannonballing and diving into the water signalled the end of the school year, smell of sunscreen hitting his nose and the sounds of soda's opening as well, alongside beers. 

Erwin with girls around him, a few boys and some other jocks, enjoying himself drastically with the summer sun on him. He was aimed for the pool water, to reach his friend that stood in the two feet end of the water that was empty. Levi stood, watching him try and brush people off, trying to reach him and watch him softly kiss his girlfriend of that time before sinking into the water. He shined as brightly as the sun and it was hard to not look at him like he was the moon. 

Everyone surrounding him had that look, admiring the amazing man in front of them that hid his body in fear but no one noticed the precautions he went through to hide his skin. Only Levi noticed when his friend swam with his his shirt on from school, pants on as well. But Levi wore his clothes as well and was drenched, he had been shoved in by Isabel, pulling her down with him. 

The blond came wading towards him and in that instant he knew the man had a mission. He dove underneath the water after backpedaling into the deeper water and swam quickly his shirt loose and swimming around him before he stopped, floating back and looking around for the taller male before he found him coming quickly, holding back a smile. He had resurfaced to bring in a deep breath before bending back and diving back under to escape, trying not to smile as well as he swam underneath the bodies of all the other students of the graduating senior year. 

But of course Erwin captured him, floating lower than him. His touch was warm as his larger hands took hold of his and both stared at each other until the cry for air began, and even then he wanted to ignore it just so he could figure out what the feeling in the other's eyes meant. Those eyes were as blue as the rippling surface of the pool, floodlights surrounding the fence of the pool  caused a reflection in his eyes that Levi was unable to tear his eyes from. He had seen that look before in his eyes, one other time.

A splash of water hitting him brought Levi back to reality and he looked towards Hange that  was swimming backwards with a smile, Moblit wading through the water after them. Mike was sinking lower into the liquid as Nana finished off her soda and relaxed still in the water.

He was lead in by a hand and he simply moved over to the other side of the pool, watching his friends go off the diving board. Despite Mike's size, he was rather graceful when he dove in, and Moblit showed off his trick of doing a backflip into the water. Hange was busy explaining something to him on the diving board as Mike swam back over to he and Nanaba, kissing her on the cheek before sipping some of his drink. Then a question came up.

''How's Erwin?" the man asked

Levi glanced up at him. ''He seems to be fine.'' he answered truthfully.

Mike nodded, sitting down beside him as Nanaba stood to get more drinks from inside. ''Did he say when he's supposed to be released?" 

''Soon, hopefully.''

''Good, good,'' he nodded again and leaned back, arms on the edge of the pool before the smaller male slipped lower into the water.

''You're planning something, aren't you Mike?"

''Mm hm.''

''And what would that be?"

''I want to propose to her, but I want Erwin to be there to help. He brought us together, so I feel it would be only right for him to be there to help me surprise her.''

''He'd love to do that,'' his mind wandered to the conversation about weddings that he and Erwin had a few weeks prior before continuing. ''He's been waiting for you to say something about it.''

Mike laughed softly, lips upturned. ''I know he has. Whenever I mention Nana to him he brightens a bit.''

''Well, whenever anyone mentions something that makes them happy, he becomes happy too.''

~*~

Levi had given some of his contact information to the realtor, instead posing as Erwin. Most of his contact information was instead his friends, and it was sly way of getting him on a head start towards starting on his house that he so desperatley wanted to build.

He went around to the hospital to find Erwin standing, wanting to take a walk around the hospital, get some fresh air since he hadn't in the past two weeks. Levi remembered Erwin talking about how much he enjoyed taking walks to calm his mind and things, and sometimes it helped. The dark haired male slipped in through the door and the nurse nodded, the blond looking to Levi and smiled. 

Erwin pulled on sweatpants and he noticed that the taller man had regained some weight, less thin skin and bone to him and a bit more muscle and weight in his face. ''Hi, Erwin,'' he said, the nurse brushing past and walking outside. 

''Good morning, Levi. Is it still somewhat cool outside?"

''It's around ninety-two, but that's cool compared to lately.''

The blond winced before giving Levi a side hug. ''Then I can just stroll around the hospital for a while. It's like my workout routine.''

Levi hugged back and lead him out the door, shutting it behind them both before they began their walk. Erwin was rather talkative that morning, informing Levi on all that had occured during the two days that the smaller male was not there. He continued talking on to explain odd instances in dreams, and his comments on the hospital food as well. The man seemed fine until Levi asked about his night terrors. Apparently they had come back full force because he had started stressing about his work.

They were wandering down the hall, back towards the elevators when he spoke up to Erwin about work. ''There are enough new jobs popping up, Erwin,'' he said, hitting the button. ''You could get a teaching degree. No doubt the board wants another Smith to be a teacher.''

Erwin smiled at the thought of it. ''I got my teaching degree when I went to uni,'' he said. ''I wanted to be just like my father, so I left to get a degree and hopefully follow in his steps. I've gone the long way round, and we've talked about it too. He told me he wanted me to be myself, an individual person, not someone that copies his every action. I want to teach, but perhaps not like he did,''

''Then how?" Levi asked, the doors opening for them and they stepped inside.

''I was thinking physical education, or maybe an extra cirricular job.''

''Ew, no one likes PE, Erwin.''

''I know, I know, but wasn't it better when the teacher was rather... Attractive?"

Levi stopped as he exited the elevator, Erwin setting one hand on his back and pulling him forth by his arm with the other, smiling beside him as he lead the way. ''Erwin...''

''But you know, I did study for mathematics and astrology, so I could-''

''Why is that the first thing that comes to your mind?"

Erwin laughed and steered him to the hospital room. ''I don't know, I was planning alternatives,'' they ended up staying in the room so the blond could eat his lunch. ''Hm, I figured that the job that is giving me no aid at this time doesn't need me, so when I get out of the hospital, I want to quit.''

''Just like that?"

''Just like that.''

~*~

Levi was invited to meander around Old Town so he accompanied his friends, finding out from his mother that she was working that day. He walked slowly behind the others as they slipped into different shops, talking and laughing before they reached the antique store. He held the door open and followed them inside to the cool air, smell of dust hitting his nose. 

Hange wandered off, Moblit wandered to find them, Mike and Nana were browsing, and Levi headed to the office to find the old man. Pixis stood in front of a mirror, waxing his mustache to how he liked it, his lips were puckered and he was taking his time before Levi cleared his throat to grab his attention. The man turned to look at him, one side of his mustache sticking up before the man smiled and opened his arms to hug him, Levi bringing his shoulders in and Pixis backed off. ''Hello, Levi! Who're you here with today? Your mother?''

''No, I'm here with a few friends. Some you've seen before with Erwin.''

''Oh! Well tell them there's a sale,'' he said, oblivious to his mustache as he lead Levi along. ''How's things?"

''Good. I wanted to ask you if there was a position open.''

''Hm,'' Pixis thought a moment, finger on his chin. ''Actually, it would be great help if there was another body able to deliver items. I am now a frail old man-''

''Yes yes, I know. But how heavy of items?"

''Small things, I suppose. Maybe another hand to held clean up as well.''

''Would it be fit for Erwin to try and come in for work?"

''Why? Is his job not paying him?"

''There are other issues. I was just questioning. If not, that's fine.''

''A young man like him, yes of course. He'd be an amazing help here, but if he finds something else to do, please tell your friends.''

''I will. Thank, Pixis. Tell your wife I said hi.''

Pixis smiled and waved, Levi turning to find the others before he heard the older man begin muttering about his mustache in the mirror. He found them all around an old piano, pressing the keys down softly before Moblit sat on the bench and began playing. It was a bit out of tune, but still beautiful as Levi gazed at the items on shelves and desks, some on old chairs. The paintings hung on the walls caught his eye, one hanging up on the banister of a stair case. The store was only one story, the rickety staircase leading up to an abandoned room upstairs. For as long as Levi could remember, the store was owned by Pixis and ran by Pixis, staying afloat mostly by the tourists that went through during summer and spring. Nothing was overpriced, if anything the man sold them for less than what they would have been bought in their time.

He was always so cheery, but the flasks were overpriced. They always were.

Down the burning street was a Mexican restaurant that someone wanted to try so they all walked there, seating themselves in the booth. Levi was squashed against the wall as Hange sat beside him and began looking through the menu. He slipped his phone from his pocket and went through messages he had received, finding nothing more than his mother sending him a string of pictures of her little rat looking dog. 

Levi set his phone on the table, letting Hange see and pass the photos around, each person cooing about the dog before Mike got a hold of the phone. ''What is that thing?" he asked. The smaller male grinned and his phone was handed back quickly as he began to receive messages from Erwin.

It was mainly Erwin taking blurred photos from his view through the window with a frowning emoji underneath it. He began typing back as drinks were set down for everyone. ''Grumpy?" he asked

'grumpy slug' Erwin answered and Levi sent him a picture of the others smiling, Moblit looking towards the camera in the photo. The meal continued and when Levi arrived home, he checked his calender for dates to find he had a doctor's appointment the next morning that would cause him to miss his trip to the hospital. He informed his friend and the next morning got up early to go, sitting in the waiting room and filling in paperwork. A small boy played with his mother in the chairs across from him, and occasionally Levi lifted his eyes to watch before looking back down at the papers. The next time he looked, the boy was staring at him with big eyes and his fingers in his mouth before he smiled and his mother waved. The boy had dark hair similar to his mother's, and an eye that was the same color as her's, his left one a different color. Levi raised his hand a bit and waved in return.

The waiting room cleared out and after a ridiculous waiting time, he stood to his name, though was instead directed to the front desk. ''Mr. Ackerman?" he nodded, placing his hands against the counter. ''I have been informed that Dr. Bangar is not working here any longer, would you like me to set you up with a seperate doctor?"

He bit back a comment and nodded, watching the woman type away. ''Dr.Jaeger is not open until Friday, will that work?"

''What time?"

''Three in the afternoon.''

That would mean venturing out in the heat, the hottest time of the day but he nodded anyways. ''That works.''

The woman nodded with a forced smile before typing more and then getting one of the faculty cards and writing a time, date, and his name on it. She handed it over to him and he read it over before she wished him a good day. Levi nodded to her in return before walking towards the doors. He was put off by that information, but at least it meant he could visit Erwin. There were only a few more days before the trip to San Fran as well, and hopefully by that time he could take his friend. 

He wanted to go badly after several weeks of debating the information, but finally decided on it. He had been informed that they would be going to the festival afterwards, but that was fine by him. A deep gut feeling kept nagging at him, one that repeated telling him to dread the occasion, but it was with friends on a road trip to the city and it was better than where he was now. Excitement wasn't the word he was exactly looking for, not that he really felt much for it anyways; in his mind the car ride would be more fun than meandering around and watching live performances with several other people. 

At the hospital, he found Erwin stretching his arms and sat beside the hospital bed, watching his restless friend pace around the room. Several weeks locked up in one room was starting to get to him, so hope came to Levi that his friend could go soon, and it looked like he could. Body weight was put on, his face was less extremely sharp edges and had more definition and weight to it, his arms seemed stronger and when he stretched, Levi could see muscles instead of bone. 

''Do you know an exact date when you can be let out of the hospital?" Levi asked and his friend gave a nod with a shining smile. 

''Friday!"

''Seriously?" his tone was far more monotone and serious than Erwin liked, that much was obvious by how his face fell. ''What time?"

''Oh, not until the afternoon. What's wrong?"

''I have a doctors appointment on that day at three.''

''I thought it was this morning,'' Erwin said, stretching his arms above his head.

''No, it got cancelled. Somehow they managed to set me up with my pediatrician and then she moved away. Never occured to tell me this shit, either. So I'm supposed to meet this new guy Friday.''

He felt his phone buzz as Erwin nodded. ''Don't beat yourself up about it, Levi. If you want, cancel it for another day.'' it sounded like a request more than anything and the smaller man pulled his phone out to check that it wasn't an emergency, instead finding a message from papa Smith about planning a surprise welcome home party for his son. 

''Looks like I'll have to,'' Levi answered, ignoring the questioning look on the other's face as he pushed his phone aside. ''So you finally get to come home.''

In his mind, Levi sounded like a broken record. 'Finally get to come home.' Words could never explain how much his heart swelled at the idea of his friend arriving back from duty, and words could never explain the shatter and his heart falling when he saw the look on his face when he walked through the door. 

''Yep!" Erwin was cheery as he flopped back on the bed, receiving a look from Levi before rolling onto his side. ''I got a call from my job,''

''Oh, how did that shit go?"

''Absolutely terrible. You would not believe the anger in that man's voice when I tried to explain that I had cancer. He was angry I was ill for an illness I had no control over.''

''It's because he's a fat c-''

''So I'll be quitting first thing Friday. Or Saturday. Probably Saturday.''

Levi began thinking about which day they were supposed to be going to San Fransisco and looked to him. ''Wait a few days, it'll piss them off more.''

Erwin smiled again before laying back with his hands hanging off the sides of the bed.

~*~

Friday rolled around and Levi had somehow managed to talk his way into getting an earlier appointment with the doctor. The man was calm,quiet, didn't make ridiculous jokes during the visit, and all in all was just a kind man. He took his time to listen to Levi before checking heart rate and things. 

After another visit was organized, the smaller man walked from the building and dialed for papa Smith. 

''Levi!" he had the similar cheerful tone that Erwin had whenever the blond picked up. ''What made you call today?"

''I wanted to discuss the surprise party,'' he said. ''Do you want me to pick things up for it?"

''Confetti? No no, that would take a while to clean up. How about streamers?"

''Streamers... Yeah. What color?"

''Green, or blue. Maybe yellow. Or would red look better?"

''How about I buy all four.''

The other man laughed on the other line. ''That works. And would you mind getting a snickers, too?"

''Why a snickers?"

''I've just been wanting one for a while.''

Levi opened the car door and slipped inside. ''Yeah, I'll buy you your snickers too.''

After his conversation with papa Smith, he drove to the nearest dollar store and picked up streamers, grabbing the man his snickers as well. He stood in the center of the store with it in his arms and though about what else he should buy. Of course he should get something for Erwin, but what exactly? His eyes picked up on the toy aisle and he slowly brought himself to it. He recalled Erwin drawing several times in the past, and it was only a notebook from the dollar store, but hey, at least he was thinking of him.

Instead he abandoned that aisle behind and bought the streamers and snickers, driving to the craft store. He parked in the shade in hopes the chocolate bar would stay together, rushing inside. He picked up a work notebook and a box of good pencils and pens before heading to the checkout. 

Several minutes later he dropped the bag in the back of the car before receiving multiple messages from his friends, Erwin informing him that he was driving from the hospital and messages from the other to tell him to drive faster because Erwin was leaving. During the trip he must have hit every single red light there and he could have jumped for joy when he finally reached the suburban neighborhood. He drove at the speed limit before parking in front of the house and rushing to the door.

Hange pulled him in and slammed the door shut, Levi looking up to find far more than he thought would be there. Mike, Hange, Nana, Moblit, Petra, Oluo, Isable, Farlan, Pixis even, Kuchel, a few neighbors and then his eyes landed on her. Marie stood with her hands on her fiance's arm, glancing to him. Once she noticed he was looking right back at her, she gave a warm smile and waved. God, she would have been Erwin's perfect other half. He gave a wave and dropped the streamers into someone's arms before his eyes moved up to Nile.

Ew.

Nile tried his best to smile at Levi and the other man didn't smile in return. It wasn't his thing to smile joyfully and he would never sink low enough to force a smile out for the sake of making a friend. He simply nodded to him and helped with tying the streamers up. He knew that papa Smith was driving his son home and he also knew that Erwin was informed that his friends would be waiting for him back at the house to welcome him home.

He didn't know it would be a full surprise party. The streamers were up and other decorations, the snickers bar in the fridge ontop of the bowl of watermelon and Levi was aided in packing the gifts into a box and wrapping it as quickly as possible with wrapping paper. 

It wasn't beautiful, and was Easter wrapping paper, but at least it was there. He pushed the box aside and hid it away so the male wouldn't see it unless he dug around for something. Then the lock clicked. Everyone quieted and stayed where they were before the door was pushed open.

''Surprise!" they yelled. Erwin's eyes were wide and Hange threw confetti at him. It rained down around him in the doorframe and he grinned, smile widening as he looked up and found his friends there. 

''Oh wow,'' he said, almost breathlessly but definitely happy. ''And what did I do to deserve this?" Erwin asked, stepping in so the heat stayed outside. Papa Smith moved around him with a smile, waving at Levi. 

''You lived!" Hange said and then hugged him. Everyone moved in for a hug and the blond smiled, melting into it. Levi still stood by the dining table, wanting to avoid that cluster. The group diminished and moved to start making food and turn on music, conversations beginning as well.

The blond walked to Levi and leaned down, wrapping his arms around his waist before he picked him up to hug him. Levi's feet hung several inches above the ground and he went wide eyed, still surprised that his friend could pick him up so easily. He could feel him faltering though and he gave a squeeze in return before being placed on his feet again. 

When he looked up, he found the blond beaming with big eyes. ''Hi Levi.'' 

Levi smiled softly, rubbing the other's now fuzzy head. ''Hey, Erwin.''

The party went smoothly, the smell of freshly cooked food filled the house and Erwin patiently waited instead for the German delicacies that were being made by his father in the kitchen with the occasional help of Kuchel.

''What are you waiting for?" Levi asked when there was a break in the conversation between the blond and Nile. Erwin looked over to him and leaned into him more.

''Schwarzwälder.''

He stared at him for a few moments before blinking. ''What?"

''Chocolate cake, whipped cream and cherry. I'm only going to eat a little for the sake of my stomach but it tastes too delicious to pass up. I guess I should have elaborated on what Schwarzwälder meant.''

''Yeah, probably.'' 

Erwin smiled and slid down further to where he was comfortable in the couch. ''It means black forest in German. So the cake is black forest cake, or black forest cherry. Anyways, its delicious. I've always wanted you to try it, and many other things.''

''I thought I have.''

''Well you've had what you called sugary cake for breakfast when you were over a few times. I mean like a genuine, homemade German meal. Things like that.''

''Oh yeah, you told me it was a breakfast cake and I poked it before eating it.''

''You ate a lot of it, too.''

''I kind of regret eating so much more food that day than you or your father.''

''No no. When we make food, its meant to be eaten. That's usually why we have such large quantities.''

Levi smiled and set his hands on his stomach before looking at Erwin. ''Didn't your grandmother send some chocolate over from Germany?"

''Oh yeah!'' Erwin's eyes brightened. ''Eighth grade she sent some over for you and I during Easter because it was Easter chocolate.''

''It was good.''

''Good, hah. You ate it so fast!"

''It had caramel in the center, how could I not?"

''I remember how heartbroken you were when I told you I didn't have anymore.''

''Because my first true love was that damn chocolate.''

Erwin chuckled, glancing over to Moblit. ''Yeah, you've always loved things I've introduced you to.''

''Sorry I couldn't have introduced you to things, Erwin.''

''No no, don't. I'm just happy I was able to show you things you could appreciate.'' Erwin pushed himself up. ''Converse. I want to talk with Moblit.''

Levi nodded and as Erwin left to speak with his friend, so did the cheerful air. He rolled his eyes to look at the very suspicious looking Nile. ''What?" he asked defensivley

Nile shook his head, grinning. Levi pushed himself up, whispering ''fuck off'' under his breath. Instead he went to sit with his mother who was conversing with Mike outside with a mister that Smith had bought. It sprayed cooler air onto them and he found his mom's rat dog trembling in her lap as he sat down in the chair closest to her. As she talked, he found Mike glancing inbetween the two of them, occasionally letting his eyes linger on one's face before he nodded as she spoke and lifted his beer to his lips.

His mother stood to refill her glass of water, instead handing her dog over to Mike to pet. His hand seemed to envelope the small dog before Levi spoke up.

"Why were you looking at us like that?" he asked

''I was trying to see what similarities you two had in your faces. You really are an odd mixture of two people.''

Levi pushed himself to stand so he could go back into the air conditioning, Mike following him inside with the dog sitting on his arm comfortably. Candles were being pushed onto the cake, Hange with a lighter that was soon taken away by Moblit, Erwin at his side. The candles were lit and everyone was gathered in the kitchen. 

''What am I blowing out candles for?" Erwin asked, smiling down at the cake that looked absolutely delicious. 

''Just because!" Nana said and Moblit nodded happily as he slid his arms around Hange's waist, setting his chin on their shoulder. 

''Do you want me to do it?" Mike asked, leaning forth. As he did so, the dog grabbed a cherry into his mouth and frantic yelling began before the dog simply coughed it out of its mouth, staring at it for a moment of silence before Erwin blew the candles out. 

Levi rubbed his face as someone began cutting the cake and conversation slowly came back, some laughter leaving others. Petra he could feel suddenly hug him and he hugged her in return as he began to hear Pixis start a conversation with his mother. Oluo came up to Petra's side and set his hand on her back, sticking his other out for Levi to shake. 

He did so. He had met Oluo before, thought the man was something else but at least he treated Petra kindly like she deserved. Isabel then trampled him with a slice of cake in her hand, handing him a cherry. ''Look!"  
Excitement and fun ensued until Levi was exhausted with Erwin beside him, a small slice of cake placed between them for them to share. Neither of them touched it until finally everyone else had left the home, leaving with hugs, leftovers and well wishes for Erwin.

Only he and Levi remained on the couch, papa Smith retiring to bed since exhaustion was taking over. Levi rolled his head to look at Erwin, watching his facial movements before he could see him physically get an idea. ''Rooftop.''

Instantly they were both running up the stairs, Erwin taking his slice of cake before Levi steered himself back downstairs and then ran up again to find the blond climbing out the window. He followed out as the other placed the cake beside him with two forks, reaching out for the box. Instead of handing it to him, Levi held it closer to his chest, carefully balancing before sitting down beside his friend. 

''Ooh, what't that?" Erwin asked. 

''None of your business. First we eat cake, and then we open presents.''

''I thought it was usually,'' Erwin made a circle in the air. ''The other way around.''

Levi shrugged. ''I just want to try this cake.''

Erwin handed him a fork before stabbing his own into it, taking a rather large hunk out of it. Levi scooped some up, cake alongside frosting onto his fork. They both took their bites at the same time and watched each other. The chocolate began melting in Levi's mouth, followed by the icing. It was smooth while the cake wwas what he would call perfect, not dry at all. 

''Oh wow,'' he murmured, pushing another bite in. Erwin laughed, covering his mouth before scooping up more. The slice was only small, so it was gone quickly, leaving some icing, crumbs, and cherries on the plate. Levi picked one up. ''Can you tie cherry knots?"

Erwin picked up the other and popped it in his mouth. A few moments passed, deep concentration on Erwin's face. Eyebrows brought together, intensity in his eyes before his eyes brightened and he stuck out his tongue. Two knots.

''I only asked, you didn't have to show off.''

The blond smiled, leaning back against the wall behind him before the box was placed in his lap. ''I like the pastel paper,'' he noted, ripping it open. The box sprung open afterwards and he peered inside, gasping. ''Aw, thanks Levi.''

Blue eyes shined as his smile did too, shifting through what was placed inside before Levi spoke.

''So the group and I, we were planning on going to pride in San Fransisco.''

''Oh really?" Erwin asked, turning his head to look at him. Levi nodded. 

''Pride parade was today, but the festival is during the weekend, so... You want to still go?"

A smile slowly spread across Erwin's face and he nodded. ''Of course!"

''That would mean being stuck in the backseat of Hange's car with me, and then on the ride home.''

Erwin shook his head. ''No, that sounds like fun. Which day?"

''Tomorrow. Really early.''

''I'll still go,'' Erwin said, smiling even brighter.

''That means you have to be at Hange's at seven in the morning. We're going at seven fifteen.''

''Don't worry, Levi. I love going on road trips. The car ride is sometimes more fun than the actual events.'' There was a look in his eyes. Warm and illuminated by the dim light that Levi couldn't get enough of.

~*~


	11. Chapter 11

It was around six thirty in the morning that Levi got up to head to Hange and Moblit's. He put his water bottle in his backpack alongside his charger before heading off to their house. Erwin would be picking him up from his house and driving him there so they all could organize a plan for getting to San Francisco. 

He opened the front door when he received a text from Erwin and headed down the stairs to the car, rather excited for this trip now that it rolled around. Erwin was smiling at him in the car before unlocking the door, Levi hopping in to find his friend listening to talk radio. 

''So what's the plan?" Erwin asked, driving off once Levi was buckled in. 

''We go to their place, meet the others there, they make sure they have everything. You leave this car there and we get in Hange's and they'll drive us there with Moblit. Mike and Nana are staying the night and I think for a few more days before coming back.''

Erwin was smiling as he pulled out into the road. ''They're probably planning on drinking, that's why.'' he said, trying to navigate his way to the other's house. 

Upon arrival, he found the yard cleaned up more, an actual pathway leading to the front door. He knocked, the blond behind him busy reading out what performances will be there at the pride festival from the screen of his phone. Moblit answered, smiling up at Erwin brightly before allowing them to step inside. It was clean in side as well and the other male looked to Levi for praise. 

''Not bad,'' he said. ''I can actually see the floor.''

Moblit smiled. ''Hange is just getting ready. We'll be going soon.''

Erwin pointed to outside. ''Who's... Who's Fiat is that outside?"

''Oh thats-'' Moblit stopped himself. ''Ours...''

Levi looked up from the stack of magazines that the two must have been arguing about, one eyebrow raising the same time Erwin lifted his. ''And you're expecting us both to fit in the back of that?"

The male breathed in before facing him. ''We needed a rental and forgot about that.''

''Well there's no issue with me getting into it-'' Erwin said and as Levi looked to him he hushed. Hange came out with a bag on their shoulders, overstuffed and overpacked with things before they hugged Levi tightly, then stepping over to Erwin to hug him as well. Levi wanted to question them about why they spontaneously agreed to getting a fucking fiat for an total drive of around six hours or more but they were holding him tightly to their shoulder. 

''Ready to go boys?" they asked, dragging both men out the door as they tried talking, muffled by their hands and shoulder. Moblit simply followed behind, grabbing the keys and their wallets before shutting the door. Levi hadn't noticed it before, but when he finally wriggled and shoved his way free he found a grey fiat sitting in the driveway. 

Moblit help Erwin free himself by tickling Hange and leading them to the car to put their backpack in the small trunk that would barely fit an empty plastic bag. Deep blue eyes stared towards it, eyebrows sewn together before the blond beside him spoke. 

''We can fit,'' he said. ''Anyways, the amount of walking we'll be doing will help knock out any kinks I may get in my legs!"

Quite positive given the fact that they would probably get zero air conditioning on them as well. Levi sighed, Erwin walking around to the passenger's side to climb in as the other two got ready to get in, Moblit keeping the driver side door open for the smallest male to climb in and sit down. 

He walked past them and slipped in easily, helping the other man adjust the seat into the proper place. Erwin was having fun, Mike and Nana pulling up and watching him wriggle and struggle inside, falling back onto Levi as he finally got his ass into the car. He pushed himself up, turning around to find the seatbelt with his legs pulled to the chair uncomfortably befor ehe bent his arm back uncomfortably to pull the seatbelt over. 

Levi watched him, aiding him eventually when he couldn't adjust his headrest into the proper place before they began pulling away, Hange hitting the radio on. ''So we'll be heading to Millbrae,'' they said, then questioning something. ''Did I say that right?" they asked the man in the seat beside them. 

Moblit shrugged, tired already. Levi was amazed the man was even awake this early, not because the man woke up late, but because he had to struggle with getting Hange up earlier. Mike and Nana lead them to the highway before they really began their trip.

And that meant listening to the Glee version of songs for the next few hours, making a few stops along the way for food or a bathroom break. They finally reached the Millbrae parking lot of BART transportation after several wrong turns, stopping and getting out. Erwin took a moment to pop his legs and walk around, back popping as well. 

Levi then began worrying about his bald head; the sun was shining brightly and it wasn't too warm but still a problem. There was fuzz trying to get there but it would still help if he put sunscreen on. Hange pulled their huge backpack onto their shoulders as Levi swung his over his own, Erwin then taking notice of it.

''You've had that since high school,'' he said 

''Because I've never needed another one.'' the other answered, clipping the backpack straps together to keep on his body. 

''What if it just rips open though,'' Erwin joked, stepping closer and following the group to the large white building in front of them. 

''It won't. Anyways, all I have in here is a water bottle, I'm not worrying about much of anything.''

Mike and Nana met them by the ticket booth with Petra there, Oluo beside her with Gunther and Eld mulling behind them. Levi hadn't seen those two since the first year of college and he actually found that he could spend time with those two. They both brightened visibly at the sight of Levi and they shook hands with him, Gunther hitting him lightly on the back. Erwin bought the round trip cards for he and Levi, coming up after he bought them and handed one to Levi before introducing himself to the two he didn't know.

They all descended the stairs to the platform, waiting for the train. It came to a screeching halt and Levi stayed close to Erwin, watching the pack of friends all sit off in one corner with other individuals dressed in rainbows. There was one seat left, surrounded by their friends that Levi was going to let Erwin go and sit in, comfortable to sit by himself but the blond glanced between his friend and the group, sitting instead by him. 

He looked up at Erwin, the other smiling at him as he did so before the train started off down the tracks, screaming along and into the tunnel. It jolted them around, Levi just hearing laughter and seeing smiles from those that were around him, shifting his gaze back up to the smile of the taller male beside him, admiring the shine of his smile. 

More and more people dressed in rainbows or glitter piled into the train and they all crowded off at one station. Getting up the stairs was hell and Levi was trapped between complete strangers before Erwin pulled him up and pushed him in front of him. From then he was trapped between Oluo and his friend, but he could feel Erwin's hand on his waist as he followed him up, Levi guessing he didn't want to lose him. 

He scanned his card and continued after his friend group, checking to make sure the taller man was there before they continued up another flight of stairs, reaching the surface of the city. Booming music, yells, laughter, and happiness followed by the flowing ocean of just rainbow and many diverse people coming together for one large celebration. 

Levi stopped with the group beside the Burger King that was down the road from the entrance to the fesitival, watching Hange run inside to get several large cups from the cashier before running back out. Petra and Oluo got food, Gunther and Eld catching up with Levi as Erwin talked with Mike, Nana and Moblit organizing something with Hange that Levi assumed was them figuring out how to hide alcohol. 

''Okay, so those that aren't going to drink go ahead and go on to the festival, we need to move some stuff around,'' Nana said and Mike seperated from Erwin to help her. Hange reluctantly stood, knowing they would have to switch off with Moblit while driving home and stood beside Levi. Levi was uninterested in drinking and Erwin was being smart with his stomach and diet so he moved to stand closer to the smaller male. Hange and Moblit stood with them as the others all walked to a calmer street corner out of the eyes of the cops to fill the large cups with alcohol.

The other four began their walk to the metal detectors set up with tables to put their metal belongings in. Levi tossed his keys in the bowl before stepping through, his bag glanced into before he picked it back up and pocketed his keys. Hange got scanned and their bag was dug through, the employees pulling out shirts and blankets alongside some medicine for their stomach if it began acting up during the meandering. Erwin scooped his keys back up and his wallet as well, Moblit approaching at that moment. Levi looked over at city hall, seeing the large screen displaying performers on the stage. Music was loud, the festival was bustling and he glanced forth to see Mike and that was all he could really see over the people. 

Moblit and Hange intertwined their fingers before walking off to the closest booth, just looking and Levi noticed that Hange was shirtless at that point, then noticing the fully nude man walking around. He moved his eyes to Erwin who was waiting patiently for Levi to say or do something. 

''What?" Levi asked. ''What are you waiting for, come on.''

Erwin grinned, following Levi to the booths and through the people. It was at a flyer booth that Erwin stopped to look over things fully, stopped. Levi saw his head gleaming in the light and knew he needed to get the man a hat, so he turned and searched, finding a black hat with an adjustable back. He purchased it and turned around again to find that Erwin had disappeared from his spot, moving his eyes around before finding him deep in conversation with someone, nodding and shifting slightly. 

Levi walked over to him, holding the hat in his hands, silent beside him and wasn't noticed by neither the man or the woman standing there before she glanced and smiled. ''This is Levi,'' Erwin said and instantly she knew who he was. Her face brightened and she smiled, setting her hands against her cheeks. 

''Oh my, finally I get to meet Levi!" she said, rather pleased with seeing him. 

His stare went to Erwin before he shook hands with the other woman. ''This is Cassandra, we were in the military together.''

''Nice to meet you, Cassandra.'' he said, looking back to the woman. ''Was I spoken of very often?" 

''Oh, ha, definitely my man,'' she answered, smiling and looking to Erwin. ''You were his only topic beside his father half the time. It was the same three stories. How he met you, when he left you, and his imagination when he wanted to see you again after deployment. There was of course some talk about the time inbetween, but he really liked talking about those times.''

For once, Levi was smiling and Erwin was rather fuming beside him, wanting to get the woman to stop talking. ''Sandy, shut up.'' he said, sour smile spreading across his face. Levi saw that smile only two times before hand, the first when Erwin saved his ass back in middle school and the second when Erwin desperately needed the smaller male to shut his mouth. 

Cassandra had a lighthearted laugh before setting her hand on the small man's shoulder, then realizing that he had an aversion to strangers touching him as she moved her hand away. ''I'm not saying he liked that he had to leave you, I mean-''

''San...Dy...'' Erwin sang, rolling his head to the other side. 

She quieted and Levi couldn't help but note how similar she was to Hange in some way, sort of like a mix between Hange and Moblit. ''Well, I have to get to going. It was great to see you Erwin, lovely to meet you Levi.''

The dark haired man nodded to her before she smacked Erwin on the arm and rushed off, knowing she was in trouble by the blond man. Levi looked up at him, half smile on his face. ''A lot?"

''Where'd you get the hat?" he asked, trying to distract the other from the conversation. Levi lifted the hat, looking over it before handing it to the other. 

''Can't have your head burning.'' he said. 

Erwin looked over it before pulling it on. ''There are nude men here.''

''Well I'm not buying their dicks hats.''

The blond laughed softly, adjusting his hat before the others met up with them, Nana wanting to go to the grass and relax for a while. Everyone sat down, Petra setting out a blanket to sit down on on the grass. She seated herself, Oluo sitting down and laying his head down on her lap. She played with his hair while Levi seated himself with Gunther beside him. 

Erwin sat with Mike across from him in their little circle, Nana leaning against him while Hange dug through their bag with Moblit leaning against them, fanning himself. Eld was off using one of the porta potties at that time.

At one point several joints were rolled out and the smell of weed hit Levi's nose. In all honesty, that was really the only thing he could smell since they got into San Fransisco since they arrived. He said nothing as the others passed it around but was starting to dislike his time there. Instead he stood, wanting to go and browse the booths, maybe buy something for himself. He informed the others before walking away, needing a breath of fresh air from the smoke and smell. He mainly just glanced at things and ignored everything else, hooking his thumbs on his backpack's straps as he wandered. On his way back he found the others dancing to the music but Erwin stood watching them with a smile, leaning against a tree. 

Levi checked the time, knowing that Moblit wanted to stay in schedule and get home before twelve in the morning. If they wanted to go, they could only spend about twenty minutes more here. He approached the group and Hange flung their arms around him. 

''I want you to know I fuckin' love you!" they said

He pat their arm. ''Yeah, yeah,''

Moblit tried getting them off and they looked up at him, squashing his cheeks together. ''I love you too!" they yelled. 

The smaller man looked over at Mike and Nana, noticing that Mike was a little tipsy but happy. Nana was flirty, giving him affection and trying to get a kiss from him each time he tried to start a conversation with the people around him. Oluo was still just drinking, Petra was leaning into his side before Hange rounded back, instead going to Erwin and wrapping their arms around his waist. 

He draped his arms over their shoulders. 

''Erwin, I want you to know something,'' they said, poking his chest. ''That we all love you, you go that?" Erwin nodded. ''You have a lot of support here, too, people that love you. I just want you to know and remember that, you got me?"

''Yes.''

''No matter what, we're all sticking by your side!"

They hugged him tighter and Mike hugged him as well, the rest joining in for a group hug while Levi stood and watched with a smile. Erwin kept his head low as they all hugged him, no doubt emotional. He could see it in the man's eyes when Hange began talking; now he could see him sniffling before a few of them looked up and motioned for him to join. 

''Come on, Levi,'' Gunther said, smiling. Everyone else raised their heads, motioning for him to join. He shook his head before Erwin spoke.

''You grumpy little man, come here,'' he said. Levi walked forth and the group seperated at the last moment before closing in on him and Erwin. He gripped Erwin's belt, trying to stay closer to him than the rest of the group as they cheered before they started to seperate, Levi pushing off as well. 

Moblit checked the time as the others started talking again and dancing, Petra taking selfies with the group before she got out her selfie stick and began that instead. Levi didn't have the heart to tell her that a man photobombed, either. Nana stuck a furry hat on his head and Mike stared before complimenting him on it, complimenting everyone around before he stopped himself and sipped his drink, looking Levi dead in the eye. 

''I'm drunk.'' he said. Levi snorted, looking to Erwin to find him trying to smoke without being seen by his little chaperone. He said nothing, simply looked to Moblit. 

''You want to go, don't you.''

He nodded. ''Yeah, we should get going. If we're lucky we'll get home around ten.''

There were several rounds of hugs before they finally left the group, heading back to the metro. Erwin slowed to a stop after exiting the festival, buying two little pride flags from a woman selling pride themed items. He seemed cheerful and waved them a bit after thanking her, coming back up to Levi's side.

As they descended the stairs, Erwin gifted one to Levi like it was a flower. 

''Romantic,'' Levi joked and Erwin chuckled as they reached the bottom with their friends. He scanned it, stepped through and Erwin did as well, Moblit behind them before they noticed Hange searching for their own. They waited about fifteen minutes for Hange to buy another before walking down two flights of stairs to the platform. Another fifteen minutes went by and Levi began leading them down to the carriage that would probably be quieter and emptier when arriving at the last station which was conviently their own. 

They began running to get to the very last one and Moblit yelled get in, Levi practically diving in. Erwin ran into him after and caused him to stumble and slip, strong hand grabbing his arm and pulling him back up to stand before they sat down in empty seats. Moblit and Hange sat in front of them, the doors shutting before Levi laid his head back. More screaming across the tracks, jolts, and a rude look from a woman across the tram. 

He was relieved when they were finally able to step off and head home. Down more stairs they went, Erwin cheerfully hopping down them against Levi's warnings. ''You'll hurt yourself.''

They pulled and pushed Erwin into the back of the tiny fiat before Hange opened a party size box of Cheez-Its. That was their dinner until the halfway mark where they got Carls Jr. and pigged out in the car. It was around ten ten when they arrived back to Moblit and Hange's home, stepping out unfortunately into what felt like soup instead of the cool weather of the bay area. 

Levi noticed that Erwin was far too tired to drive and instead pulled him gently to the passenger seat, pulling the keys from him. It took him a few tries to find the right key but then he drove Erwin back to his home and locked the car behind them. The blond leaned heavily on him, still wearing his hat and holding his little flag. He could have fallen asleep there with his face stuffed into Levi's shoulder, but instead he weakly walked inside. Getting him up the stairs would be the next challenge but instead Erwin insisted he sleep on the couch and that Levi stayed, so he got Erwin to lay down and laid with him. 

He was on his back, Erwin on his side and already snoring. Levi slowly shut his eyes, feeling the exhaustion from the day taking over before Erwin swung his arm over his chest to keep him there. Levi softly set his hand ontop and drifted to sleep.

~*~


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi eats a nice breakfast with the Smiths, then goes to a dinner party at Petra and Oluo's. He and Erwin go to a pool party at their house and Erwin plays baseball with some kids in the street and an odd feeling come's to Levi as he watches him.
> 
> Erwin finally quits his job and talks about the fourth of July.

Something beautiful wafted past his nose. It smelled like food cooking at first before the smell of freshly brewed tea hit his senses. He didn't want to open his eyes, just in case it was a dream but slowly he pulled them open to find shirtless Erwin waking him by holding tea near his nose. 

''What are you doing?" he asked tiredly, rubbing his eye.

Erwin grinned, still sleepy looking as well. ''I was wondering if this still worked to wake you.'' the blond answered and then the smell of cooking breakfast hit his senses. He sat up and took the cup into his hands, Erwin standing in front of him. His hipbones were sticking out too much and his ribs were still able to be seen but it looked like he was working pretty hard on trying to get that weight and muscle back on. The sweatpants that he called too small once were sitting perfectly on his body as well, though when Levi looked closely he noted that they seem to be a bit tight. 

''What is that smell?" he asked, then realizing that papa Smith was in the kitchen. The man waved with the spatula. 

''A German breakfast being cooked.'' both blond's said. Erwin sat down with coffee beside him on the couch, still looking half asleep.

''Hm, I should have gone home last night, sorry to crash on the couch like that.''

''Neither of us mind.'' Erwin said, watching Levi sip his drink.  ''Anyways, guess what we're making?"

''What?"

''The breakfast cake you liked so much.'' Levi grinned into his drink before taking another sip. ''And eggs.''

Levi stood to sit at the table, Erwin heading to the kitchen and aiding his father in cutting slices, scooping eggs onto the plate as well with sausages before setting the plate in front of Levi, papa Smith seating himself in front of Levi with orange juice while Erwin sat beside his friend.

''Alright, how do you say breakfast cake in German?" he asked, taking a bite of it.

''Frühstückskuchen.'' Erwin said easily, his father having a mouthful of food, bit too busy to answer himself.

The smaller male looked up to him and then to the native German man in front of him, chewing and swallowing his food. ''How do you even begin to teach a kid how to say those words?" he asked. He knew that Erwin's first language was German, not English. 

''Takes a while, but its hilarious to watch a three year old running around a store yelling in German.'' papa Smith answered, cutting his sausage into a bite and sticking it into his mouth. 

''What word did Erwin say?"

''Verdammte hölle. Damn hell. He heard his father saying it on one too many occasions.''

Levi glanced over to Erwin, the man smiling before finishing up his meal. ''Scheisse as well.'' Erwin said.

''Thank the heavens no-one up in that little town knew how to speak that language. A three year old running through the aisles yelling fuck at the top of his lungs when he lost his papa wasn't the best.'' Levi grinned, chuckling softly before plopping a sausage on Erwin's plate. 

''At least you knew where he was.'' he said, taking a bite of his cake as Erwin ate the sausage he was given. 

Papa Smith chuckled, finishing his breakfast. ''Like an alarm followed by the sound of little feet.''

Levi helped clean up then was dropped off at home by his friend, using that time at home to have a shower and get changed before recycling the bottle in his backpack. He messaged his mother as he dusted around the house before getting a call for work. The trip out wasn't as bad and he was rather happy to be able to go out and check the land. 

After, he drove to the land he had seen for Erwin and found that it was still empty, a chance for his friend. So far, Erwin hadn't said anything about getting notifications from the man but he still had his hopes up for him. Over the course of the next week, Levi didn't hear much from the blond before he said he was going to Old Town with Mike for a few drinks, wondering if he wanted to join. He declined, actually having plans to hang out with Petra and Oluo that evening. 

It was a small dinner party, one Levi went to because he didn't have much else to do. Gunther and Eld were there, which was a relief, it was nice to see them again. They went on to chat, eat, and he had a nice time before driving to his mother's home, checking on her. They both talked for a short time as Levi had to console the dog after he accidently stepped on its tail, but all in all it was a nice evening. 

He visited Erwin that next day at his fathers home to find him in the backyard, working out. He was lifting weights and Levi brought water out to him. ''What are you doing out here in the heat?" he asked, watching his friend as he sat down on a lounge chair. 

Erwin phased back into reality and slowed the pace at which he lifted the weights. ''It felt easier for me to do it out here...'' he dropped his arms at his sides, drenched in sweat. ''What time is it?"

''Eleven thirty.'' 

Blue eyes widened briefly before Erwin set his weights down by the door. ''I've been doing this long enough this morning.''

''Are you okay?"

''I started at ten and thought only a few minutes went by.''

Levi handed him the water. ''Drink this and then have a shower. I'll wait down here.''

Erwin nodded, gulping the water as he ascended the stairs to wash himself up. When he did come back downstairs, Levi adjusted the man's shirt a bit to fit him better. ''Did you give a realtor my contact information?"

''...maybe...''

''Levi-''

''I wanted to help you get a head start, don't be angry with me.''

''I'm not, thank you. But now you have to go with me to look around.''

''Oh fine. When?"

''I organized a plan in ten minutes.''

They drove the ten minute drive out there to meet him, Erwin talking casually and happily with the male and Levi explained the situation with the realtor, saying he wasn't Erwin but instead the blond was. The realtor smiled and shrugged it off, talking with Erwin longer and informing him on all the perks that he had told Levi about. Erwin nodded along with what the man told him before softly rolling his shoulders, probably had worn out the muscles from that mornings workout. Over the course of the next few days, they visited each other in the mornings, sometimes caught up on the past days events, and over breakfast Erwin explained things. 

''So I have thousands of dollars saved into the bank from my athletic scholarship, my military credit and money I saved up from work. I'm pretty much set to start building if I wanted to, hire someone to help me with pipes and electricity and also quit my job.''

Levi swirled his tea around a bit before sipping it, wiping his mouth with his napkin before he set it on the plate. ''You really want to quit?"

A nod came from the other man. There was confidence in his eyes and more muscle to his face, hair slowly growing in on his chin and head. ''You know I never enjoyed my time there.''

''Do you have something set for afterwards at least? Anything at all?"

''Teaching job at our old middle school.''

''Seriously?"

Another nod. ''I'll teach there for a year and then switch to the high school if I'm a good enough teacher. But I'm set, Levi. I'm following what I've been wanting to do for the past decade.''

He stood automatically, leaving a large tip for the waiter before they both moved to the exit. Erwin had a box ready to put his things in when he moved them from his desk at work, Levi following him inside large glass doors. 

Several looks were sent their way as Erwin strolled across to the elevators. He worked on the third floor in a cubicle, surrounded by others and all stared as they saw what could only be called a ghost walk through, box in hand. He stopped by his desk, organizing things into the box with help from Levi. Levi was close at his side, getting stuff from the top of the desk into the box while Erwin was crouched, getting things from the drawers before a presence beside them stopped them both.

''Erwin? You're back, but what are you doing?" Levi looked to find his boss there with three others behind him. 

The blond dropped the rest of his things inside the box and leaned against the desk. ''I'm quitting.''

''But why?"

''Because I have better things to do other than sit in a cubicle all day. I'm not needed here, and have other things I would like to pursue.''

''What will we do without you?"

''It seems like you figured that out while I was dying in a hospital bed, so I think you'll be fine.''

Erwin picked up the box harshly, still looking at the man with his chin out. ''So excuse us,'' he said. Levi stood close to his back and glared at the men before following Erwin from the building, heading out to the car. The blond dropped his box in the backseat and took a deep breath, Levi rubbing inbetween his shoulders to help loosen the muscles. 

''Do you feel better?"

Erwin nodded, exhaling lightly. ''I feel relieved now.''

"Good, you're relieved from shit. How about work?"

The blond chuckled, standing up straighter. ''That too.''

As Levi drove him home, they both noticed the amount of firework stands starting to appear on street corners and besides shops, mainly sitting at the edge of empty fields surrounded by homes and apartments. How could they forget that July fourth was just around the corner? In about a week it was going to roll around and no doubt they'd be invited to barbecues or cookouts in the park in order to watch fireworks.

''Were you planning on doing anything for July fourth?" Erwin asked and Levi shook his head. 

''I'm just going to sit and wait for someone to invite me.''

''I know that Moblit and Hange have a pretty good view of fireworks where they are since the high school is just down the road. The field is still used to shoot fireworks from.''

''Oh yeah, the stadium fills up each year for it, doesn't it.''

Erwin nodded. ''I don't know if I should go out for it, though. Last year, when I arrived back I was rather... Put off by the sounds.''

''You can say what you need to say about the explosions, Erwin.''

The blond laid his head back against the seat of the car, yawning softly. ''Thanks, Levi.''

''Mhm hm. Were you planning on visiting your grandparents?"

''I was planning on going in November since my father wanted to visit for a week when he had Thanksgiving break off. I thought I'd surprise them all by visiting while he's there but such a long flight by myself sounds boring.''

''Could always take someone with you.''

''Well I wanted to take you but I didn't know if your mother was planning something for the holiday or not so I didn't want to intervene on family customs.''

''Our house doesn't have family customs. Last year we ordered pizza for our Thanksgiving dinner, Erwin, you wouldn't be interrupting much of anything.''

''Well, good, because Görlitz is beautiful during autumn.''

Levi smiled a little, pulling up into the driveway and pulling it into park. ''If you're not up to going anywhere, I have no problem with coming here. I know that you'll be able to hear fireworks though since the high school is a few streets down.''

Erwin nodded. ''Yeah, I did last year and it wasn't much fun though I hadn't gotten anything to help me.''

''You're still up to date with meds and things?"

''Of course I am, what do you take me for?"

''An oversized child.''

''Well,'' Erwin opened the door, leg out. ''You're not far off from the truth. Oluo wants to host a pool tomorrow so I'll be going to it, are you?"

"Yeah, they told me about it last night when I went to dinner with them.''

The blond smiled. ''Good. I might have to ask for your opinion on two separate trunks though.''

''I don't mind. Have a nice day, Erwin.''

''You too!" he said and smiled. 

~*~

They ended up debating over the phone whether or not they should go and Levi also messaged Petra at the same time, a message from Oluo popping up and he stopped to read it. 

''Lee? Lee are you there?" Erwin asked, pausing whatever he was doing. 

''We need to go.''

''Why?"

''Because. I'll be around at six.''

''Oh, okay. But what do I take to change into?"

''Pants and a shirt.''

''Well obviously!"

''I'll see you later.''

At six exactly, Levi pulled up and Erwin came running out, wearing rubber duckie trunks to hop into the car. ''You like?"

''They look ridiculous.''

''Don't insult my duckies. I rather like these,''

Levi chuckled, driving off to their friend's home. They were greeted with hugs and Erwin got compliments on his swim trunks before they walked outside where everyone was in the pool, or at least mulling around it. He got a beer as his friend jumped in, being bombarded by hugs after he resurfaced, most jumping in to do so. He smiled hugging them all before he pushed himself back into the water, bringing most with him. They all resurfaced, smiling or laughing as the smell of food hit Levi's nose. Oluo was barbecuing, Mike helping and they took shifts so one could have fun while the other stayed behind to cook. As Erwin swam, some party goers glanced to the somewhat revealed scars, only when his shirt was hiked up as he swam.

The next hour was spent laughing and swimming between the friend group, Levi letting Erwin have a small amount of his beer to check if his stomach was well enough to run it through. By the end of the evening, he seemed fine, filled with barbecue and ice cream with a happy smile on his face. Erwin got changed into jeans a shirt, everyone else changed into everyday clothes and waiting outside as Oluo wanted to make an announcement. Levi stood inbetween Hange and Erwin, Moblit cuddled up to them as Oluo began speaking, mainly about Petra and how long they've been together.

It was like he said before, a year in and out of a relationship, but never with harsh fightings. Simply they were worried about if this was right but always went back to each other. Oluo ended with pulling Petra closer softly then kneeling in front of her. 

The crowd went wild and he presented a small box to her, Petra covering her mouth with her other hand as he spoke softly to her. She started nodding quickly, tears pricking her eyes before he slipped a ring onto her finger, then standing and kissing her softly.

Everyone cheered, Levi clapping alongside Erwin. There were a round of hugs in celebration before Erwin leaned down to Levi. ''Is this why you told me we had to come?"

''Yeah, Oluo messaged me about it. You had fun too, didn't you?"

Erwin nodded, then looking up the couple who pecked each other and Levi could tell he was thinking about Marie. ''You wanna head home, Erwin?"

The blond nodded, the two splitting off from the group not long after. The car ride was silent before Erwin spoke up at the lights. ''Marie and I talked about kids a lot. She hoped we could have four kids and a huge house, but I was worried those kids would end up a little too much like me.''

''Then that would be four very charismatic and kind kids that everyone would love and want to call their own. They would be the best of friends with every other student and stand up for those that couldn't stand up for themselves.''

He looked to Erwin, the man smiling softly. ''Yeah, well there are still qualities about me that I wouldn't want them to have.''

''Qualities that only you think you have. Do you think you're a terrible person or something?"

''No, I just feel... A little too...'' Erwin clicked his head a bit. ''Fucked up. I'd love to have kids but I worry about myself more than I should.''

''Those kids would have the greatest parent no matter how much you worried about your skills as a parent. You think your father didn't worry during your life?''

''I know he did.''

''And you ended up alive, you're still going and you're planning on building a house for yourself. Like damn, he raised a pretty fantastic human being. A fantastic human being that is not recognized for all that he's done. Now I know you have the same worries as I do for being a parent, but kids are a mix of both parents and grow by themselves at the same time. Even if you worry about it you have to know that your kids would still be very kind human beings. And very tall, too.''

Erwin pouted down at his lap, though his eyes were shining with a smile. ''And they'd all inherit your pout so I wouldn't be able to ignore any requests from them.''

He finally laughed, a warm chuckle as they pulled up in front of the house, Levi parking the car and looking back at him. ''They'd love you.''

''Not as much as they'd love you, Erwin. Because their papa would be absolutely brilliant.''

''Rip out my heart, why don't you.''

''Don't be a baby,'' he warned, smiling to himself before tapping on the steering wheel. ''How about I come over tomorrow evening and bring some Chinese take out.''

''Oh, that sounds good.''

''Yeah? Then we can hang out at Moblit and Hange's, I know Hange has been needing me to help clean over there so I'll drag you along with me.''

Erwin smiled. ''That sounds nice.''

Levi nodded. ''Good. Now get out of my car, you lumbering fuck.'' his tone was far too soft for Erwin to be insulted and the blond stepped out, smiling to himself with his bag of wet clothes in his hand. The taller male walked around the car and leaned in on Levi's window.

''Du bist auch ein schweres Ficken.''

''I'm gonna learn German just so I understand when you insult me.''

''Ich liebe dich wirklich.''

''I don't understand a word you're saying.''

''Ich kenne. I'll see you tomorrow evening.''

He gave a nod. ''Will you be building tomorrow?"

''No, probably just going out with my father to get supplies and things.''

''Alright. Tschüss.''

''The only word you can say properly.'' 

Levi reversed suddenly and Erwin stumbled back before heading up to the door with a wave.

~*~

He drove slowly through the neighborhood, the smell of Chinese takeout making him all the more hungry and he noticed Erwin explaining things to a group of kids, a baseball in his hand. The kids were all listening, the parents watching and smiling as well. One kid had a bat resting on her shoulder and she showed Erwin how she swung. 

The smaller male parked inbetween both Erwin's home and his neighbor's home, stepping out with the styrofoam container in his hand as he watched him more.

''You swing incredbily fast, but the issue is your stance. Speed is good but if you swing too fast you'll stumble. Trust me, I've done it before.'' Erwin said. He showed her the proper stance and pretended to swing, the girl following suit with a confident look on her face. 

''Much better, much better.'' The blond looked up to find Levi there and waved, some kids looking over to him before Erwin went back to teaching. 

The kids all seemed to love listening to him and as he continued, he tossed the baseball to a kid. The ball was tossed around and ended up back in Erwin's hand. ''Mr. Smith, do you think you can hit the ball for us?"

''Oh, I don't want to break a window, that would be terrible.''

All the kids began yelling please and he gave in, cheers echoing down the street before a kid ran to the far end with his glove, the bat being handed over to the adult. Erwin moved and shifted to stand properly, the girl a few feet in front of him so she could pitch it. 

''I'll pay for any broken window.'' he promised.

The kid at the end of the street was confident that Erwin could hit the ball to him and so was Levi. He had grown up watching his friend play the game, so he was sure that he could do this one last time. Erwin swung to warm up before standing, confidently looking forth at the girl before he gave a nod. 

Her pitch was fast, extremely fast and the sound of the metal bat hitting the ball hurt everyone's ears before eyes followed the soaring ball, directly into the grey glove of the boy at the end of the street. He held it up and came running down, shouting that Erwin had done it and the kids swarmed him to hug him, some jumping up and down excitedly.

He handed the bat back to its owner, the ball as well before the kids let go and he was free. Erwin walked up to Levi, greeting him with a smile.

''Did you see that?" he asked.

Levi nodded slowly. ''I see that you're still amazing as ever.''

''Ah, well,'' he clicked his tongue. ''Thank you.''

They watched each other for a moment, eyes stuck together before Levi looked down and held the food up. ''Here's the food.''

Erwin cleared his throat, gently taking it. ''Thanks, come in.''

He followed him inside, removing his shoes off at the door and Erwin waved to some kids before shutting it behind Levi. The blond set the food down on the coffee table before relaxing beside his friend, then pulling the food to him. Levi opened it for him as Erwin kicked his shoes off and stabbed his fork into the chow mein, stealing some.

''Where's your father?"

''Hi Levi.'' he said faintly from the office room beside the kitchen.

''Oh. Hi Mr.Smith.''

There was a laugh from the other room before they carried on their conversation.

''I can start tomorrow. I put down a payment for the land, so I'm ready.''

''And you got all of your buildings supplies?"

Erwin nodded. ''Yep. I've sorted everything out.''

''Hmph,''

''What?"

''You've just come a far way, thats all.''

~*~


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi talks with his mother about grandkids and has a calm time with Erwin until he begins to get suspicious of him.

Levi woke up later in the morning than usual and rolled out of bed, eyeing the basket of laundry in the corner of the room. He popped his fingers and picked up the basket, tossing the clothing into the machine before shutting the door and starting it. He then walked to the kitchen and began making himself eggs, simply waiting for the laundry to finish. Levi scooped the eggs onto a plate before washing the pan and spatula, then scooping the eggs into his mouth and eating them as a gameshow played on the television. 

By the end of breakfast, he was able to turn over the laundry into the dryer, Levi then distracting himself with stretching and making some tea. When that was finally finished he organized his laundry, then deciding on going for a run, just around the block a few times since it was approaching the hottest time of the day. When he rounded back home, he found that Erwin had sent him a series of photos from his time of getting the building materials delivered to his land he was going to build on. 

''Getting a move on, then?" he sent a message back and the blond set a smiley face back.

He tossed his phone aside and got in the shower, letting the cool water run over his face and now sore muscles since he hadn't stretched enough before heading out. Levi lathered his hair and body up before rinsing it all off, pushing the shower handle to off before stepping out. He dried his body, followed by his hair as he strolled out to his bedroom to get some clothes, dressing and checking the time. He now had thirty minutes to relax and stay cool before heading out to get he and his friend food.

Levi decided to go earlier for the food, getting it quickly and keeping it in the sun that splayed across the passenger seat before he drove around for a while, just distracting himself before driving off to Erwin to meet him at home. He parked in the driveway and knocked on the door, hearing his friend struggle with the lock before swinging the door open. 

''Hi, Levi,'' he said, smiling softly with a gleam in his eyes. He stepped back to allow him in and he held up the plastic bag to his friend before sitting down to untie his shoes.

''How was getting everything there?" he asked and Erwin opened the bag, offering a fork to his friend. Levi took hold of it and set it down beside himself, the blond then offering him his own box of food. 

''Irritating. And very, very warm.'' Erwin said, sitting back with his opened container of food, scooping some rice up. ''But doing it  in summer is a better time than in winter. Especially here. Summer heat cements things faster.''

''When are you starting construction?"

''Soon. Well, hopefully since I've gotten everything delivered to where I would like to build my home. I was planning on tomorrow.''

Levi nodded, eating some chicken. ''How about Marie and Nile? Are they still planning on bringing you to the wedding?"

''Oh, yeah... I got an invitation today from them actually. It arrived in the mail and I'm supposed to write back to show I'll be heading to it. I need to soon, but hopefully they'll understand I'll be too busy with building to get much done that doesn't involve construction.''

He chewed his food, glancing up to him to find his friend watching again. ''How about Petra and Oluo, have they said much since he proposed?"

''Oh, no not to me. I was certain they'd say more to you anyways.''

''Not yet, no. Too busy celebrating. Honestly I'm surprised he had the balls to say anything, especially in front of all of us.''

''You mean especially in front of you, right?"

''That too.''

Erwin smiled, then sticking some sweet and sour pork into his mouth, chewing a bit before he continued talking. ''How was your day?"

He shrugged, pushing his rice into a pile. ''I just did errands, thats all. Nothing more from there. What about you? Anything else besides get the materials there?"

''No, unfortunately.''

''How about the kids that wanted to play baseball with you?"

'"Well there were a few that tossed their ball to me, but that was it. I was pretty exhausted when I got here. I need to conserve my energy to build anyways.''

''How far are you going to go with building?"

''I think I'm mainly going to make it up as I go, hopefully it'll turn out nice at the end instead of a patchwork mess. First is of course foundation, you know, more stuff before getting my mind set on decorations.''

''I'm guessing you're going to give yourself a big yard, too.''

''Well, I thought there should be something for the people in my future. You know, a play area for potential kids.''

''You've been thinking a lot on it, huh?"

Erwin nodded, finishing off the sweet and sour pork before washing it down with water. ''More since we've talked. And everyone I know are in a relationship, or are finding potential partners. Me, I've just been sitting here for a while.''

''Did you spot anyone at the bar when we went, someone that caught your eye? Or was that a waste?" he was too busy trying to dip his chicken in sauce to notice Erwin's pause, but heard it in his breathing before he lifted his eyes to him. 

The blond was smiling softly, eyes shining alongside his teeth. ''There was, actually.''

He lifted a brow. ''Really? Have you been in contact with this person?"

''Oh, very close contact actually.''

''And you've decided to not tell me?"

''I... Wanted to see how well things went before I made a step to tell you or get closer to them.''

He grunted, scooping chow mein onto his fork before lifting chicken up alongside it. ''Then make a step soon. You've told me, have to do more from there.''

''Well, I have to make sure they're ready, you know? They've been going through some things with a friend of theirs and work is a problem for them so I want to give them some time. Maybe even wait until they figure it out themself.''

''Erwin, you know a waiting game is stupid.''

''I've been doing a waiting game with my first love for a decade and they're still close.''

''Well do something soon. You might die alone or some sad shit like that.''

''No, I don't think they'd let me die alone. I think they'd be too busy worrying about me to leave my side by that point.''

''Sounds depressing. And sappy, what's gotten into you?" 

Erwin had scooped food into his mouth and raised his arms, taking his plate of food with him. ''I found some hope.''

He quieted, all that could be heard was the scraping of plastic forks against paper containers. ''You've been needing that for a while.''

''Then its a good thing I found it.''

''It's a good thing you found them. Whoever they are. I hope they treat you better than Marie did.''

''Oh, don't worry. They already have.''

~*~

A suspicious fuck, that's what Erwin was sometimes. Levi watched him in the process of building the foundation of his home while he sipped some water. Since their talk, he had become rather suspicious, growing more like himself in junior year than an actual adult.

He was simply hammering, but how he had grinned earlier made him a bit suspicious of the man and was now watching him with narrowed eyes as he worked. And he was working hard. He hoped he had put on sunscreen and had a source of air conditioning because it was ninety-nine and there was no sign of him stopping anytime soon.

It was simply  grin, but he knew his friend well enough to question him. Did he do something? Was he hiding something? Had he gotten far with that person he was talking about?

Did the last two correlate?

Did the last two correlate and involve Levi?

Probably.

But did he have the guts to ask?

Haha, no.

He had met Erwin at home later, eating chocolate ice cream with a fork since the man ran out of spoons while his father did some reading in solace upstairs. They were quiet, just their forks scraping against the cermaic bowls occasionally accompanied by a cough or occasional sneeze from papa Smith.

Ten minutes after they ate, Erwin held his stomach and groaned softly, his stomach obviously having a negative effect to the dairy. Levi looked over to him and guided him onto his side, pulling his knees up a bit. 

''Lay like this for a while,'' he instructed. ''It helps digestion.''

Erwin still held his stomach, wincing in pain as Levi scavenged for stomach pills or some food that would either help pass it or calm it down. He did hear Erwin burp softly in the other room, so at least something was passing. He came back with bismuth pills and a glass of water, setting both on the table and waiting to see what Erwin's stomach would do. 

He sat on the ground inbetween the couch and the coffee table, simply watching Erwin's tired face and his shut eyes. Levi couldn't help feeling rather calm whenever he looked to Erwin as he slept, but whatever emotion his friend felt, he reflected on his own face and mind.

Levi didn't notice that he had zoned out while watching him until he realized that the blond was snoring into the cushion beneath his head. The smaller male stood, getting a pillow and lifting Erwin's head enough so he could set it under the other before silently leaving the house.

He was exhausted the next day but dragged himself to different points in the city to check that there wouldn't be wires that would be hit when digging into the ground. He was sweating as well since his job meant outside and of course he was pretty much just watched while he did his work. Several reports were given in and he wiped his sweat off his forehead and the back of his neck before running by his mother's new home.

She seemed very happy, having bought a cactus and treating it in the backyard while the trembling dog anxiously pissed in the corner.

''Have you found anyone?" she asked, still tending to her rising garden.

''Found anyone? You mean dating wise?"

His mother gave a happy nod. ''Mm hm!"

''No. I haven't thought about it either. With Erwin and everything, I didn't think about weddings or getting you grandkids. That's what you want, huh, grandkids?"

''It would be nice, you know. But nothing I say will force you to. Levi you could give me five dogs and I'd be happy.''

''How about two cats and a goldfish, does that work?"

Kuchel smiled and nodded. ''Of course.''

''Why has this suddenly popped into your mind?"

''Because I'm used to the idea of marrying early, having kids and getting a big house. I didn't have those opportunities and of course I'm thinking those would be the best for you. But of course we all have different walks of life and different things that make us happy.''

''I don't think anyone would be able to stand me through a marriage.''

''Don't say that!" she ordered and swatted at him. ''If someone loves you, and I mean really loves you, they'd fall in love with what you truly are. They wouldn't back down and they especially wouldn't lie through a relationship just for the status of married. I know all you see nowadays are people getting divorced, couples breaking up, but you need to realize that when it clicks, you both notice it. And from then forth that person makes things just a bit more bearable.''

''Did... Did you and dad click?"

''There was something. But it wasn't exactly love. In my mind it was, but it was this strewn mess instead that I had depicted as love by my young mind's accident. Love isn't what you expect it to be, it isn't a series of these major acts, but mainly its the little things you notice the other does for you. Your father tried, yes, but upon hearing that he was going to have a child, he abandoned me. He was scared, and I need to be angry at him but most times I can't help but feel sympathetic for him. I hate him most days but other days I think of the memories we share. 

And then I grow even more hateful.''

Levi smiled softly at his mothers words. ''He's a coward?"

''The man and I built ourselves a foundation together in case it did ever happen but he ripped it out from under me and took it for himself the moment it happened. You're nothing like your father, though you do have some very distant qualities of his. But you're your own special little mix. Someone's special love, too.''

''Hopefully that person is a cat or something easy.''

''Not exactly optimistic but it works.''

They both shared a laugh and a smile before she stood, the dog following her from the corner of the yard to head inside. Levi stood as well and followed, waiting patiently for the dog to try and step up into the home before he gave in and lifted the dog, setting it on its feet. It padded over to its food bowl and its mother began searching for its food.

''How're the Smith's doing?" she asked, opening a new can of dog food.

''They both seem okay. Erwin's still just starting up on his building. None of us know what he has planned out yet. Thinking about it, I think I need to pick him up and drive him home.''

''Oh, don't let me keep you, darling.''

He knew there was a reason why his mother had suddenly brought up marriage and kids. It wasn't simply worry, she knew her son wasn't one for the dating scene or small talk with others, so he questioned her as he scanned through he and Erwin's messages, finding his evidence that he had to pick up his friend. 

''You haven't. But yeah, I need to go get him before he works himself to sleep.''

''Has he been doing better?" she asked, scooping some of the dog slop into the bowl.

''Much better. Looks healthier and is taking care of himself despite the fact his ex-fiance is inviting him to her wedding with his best friend.''

His mother shook her head. ''I think there must be some line drawn in the sand.''

He shrugged, watching her toss the can away before they walked to the door. ''He's too friendly to say no to either of them. I guess I can't blame them, but I can't stop thinking of how perfect she and Erwin looked together.''

''The love was beautiful and it was even moreso because of how beautiful they both were.'' Kuchel said and walked him to the car. 

''Honestly, they looked like they met at model auditionings.''

''And both got the part.''

Levi chuckled, opening the car door before hugging his mother softly. ''I'll come by soon, Ma. If I'm not busy with helping Erwin and I guess getting a date.''

''It was just a quick statement, don't dwell on it. And especially don't listen to your old mother.''

''Well, listening to my old mother has kept me alive this far.''

Kuchel kissed his cheek softly before standing back, letting him get in the car before he started the engine. They said their goodbyes and Levi took the fastest route to Erwin's construction site. When he approached, he saw his friend still working, looking over plans and cutting things with protective glasses and face mask. The start of his foundation was rather far from the road, sitting further than Levi would have placed it himself but it wasn't his house. He pulled up where he usually did, closeby and stepped out, watching the utterly concentrated look on his friend's face, now thin eyebrows close together. He finished up and dropped the materials into a pile beside him before wrapping up his plans, pulling the mask and glasses off his face. 

''Explain what your dream house is, Erwin.'' Levi stated once the man took notice of him.

''Well, so far I have half of the living room finished.'' he answered, smiling softly. ''Tomorrow I need to finish the other half and get started on the kitchen and bathroom.''

''It's going to be a big house, isn't it.''

''It'll take up to six months to finish, so yes,'' Erwin dropped his things on the table before picking up his bag, now having more defined muscles to his chest and arms. ''I want to make it a double story home.''

''Like the modern ones popping up.''

''Yeah, but not in a really close knit neighborhood.''

''Seems far more peaceful here. I don't blame you.''

Erwin stopped beside the car, taking a look at what he had created so far. It was obvious he was filling in the empty spaces with his dream. ''It will be very quiet, but I thought that'd be nicer than the city noises. Out here it's pretty calm.'' he lifted a finger, the two simply listening to the crickets and the distant sounds of the blond's neighbors playing on their trampoline. One corner of his lips pulled up. ''And that's it.''

''Not bad. But why so far from the road?"

''Driveway. Gives more room in the front yard. But not like going out into the road would be much of a danger,'' both ducked into the car at the same time and shut their doors as well. ''It's silent despite the occasional car driving over to the house down the street.''

''You know one day this will all be filled with huge fucking houses and ripped apart for more homes,''

''Then so be it. But I think at that time I'll be long gone. I know how touchy construction companies are when they have to build anything this far out.''

''I guess you did have to work in that shit job, didn't you.''

''Unfortunately, yes. But I know where they're developing and where they're not.''

''But you have no access to that anymore.''

Silence filled the car and Levi slowly pulled his eyes from the road to Erwin, then flicking back and forth. The silence said what Erwin didn't, so did his smirk.

''Are you still logged into something important?"

''The most important files that the CEO has.''

Instead of saying anything more, Levi slowly grinned. It was quiet until they reached the main part of the city, now nearing Erwin's place. ''Did you visit your mother like you said you were going to?" the blond asked.

''Yeah. We talked about marriage and grandkids.''

''You're long overdue for that chat.''

''Oi, watch it.''

''When was the last time you went out on a date, though?" Erwin asked, smug look on his face and a teasing tone in his voice. ''High school?"

''Do you want to walk the rest of the way?"

''You wouldn't do that.''

Levi pulled over abruptly and stopped the car, unlocking the doors and making direct eye contact with Erwin. ''I wouldn't?"

''No, because you'd round back to me. And you feel sympathetic for me,'' Erwin pretended to swoon and Levi couldn't hold back a snort, driving back out into the lane to take his friend home. ''I knew it!"

''Shush.''

''What made her suddenly think of grandkids, I wonder,'' the blond said. ''Maybe our parents were discussing something.''

''She said a cat would count as a grandchild. I think I'd be only really able to take care of a cat.''

''No, you'd be a good parent. Its a scary thing to think about, kids. But you're stern and kind, so I can imagine you being a good father for them. Tucking them in, babying them when they have a cold, maybe not being careful when they get a scrape or a cut, just dumping rubbing alcohol onto the wound.''

''That went downhill instead of raising my self esteem.''

Erwin chuckled. ''Sorry. But really, you'd be a nice dad.''

''I think I'd be a tired asshole.''

''You're a tired asshole already, Levi. You don't even have to think about it.''

The car stopped dead in front of the house and the seatbelt gripped Erwin tightly. ''Alright, now get out.''

The blond smiled and unbuckled himself, gripping the straps of his bag before opening the door. ''How does going for a run in the morning sound?"

''I don't mind going. What time?"

''Eh... Eight?"

''It'd be rather hot at that time.''

''It doesn't have to be very long.''

''Yeah, I'll be here at eight. You know I'll come and help you with your house, too.''

''I have Mike on he bandwagon, and Hange. You don't have to but I'll call you if I need extra help.''

Erwin stepped out of the car and pulled the bag onto his shoulder. ''When do you not fucking recognize when I want to help you, you ass?"

He hung onto the window, smiling at Levi. ''See you tomorrow.''

~*~

Levi was there the next morning, wearing shorts and a loose tee shirt so he didn't have to be tortured in the burning heat during their run. Erwin stepped out, wearing a tank top and shorts before they began jogging, crossing through the small park and to the other neighborhood. They talked and began to get competitive, racing to the end of the street to round back to the park.

Erwin was in the lead most of the way before Levi picked up his pace, a few feet in front of him. They turned a corner and headed back to the park to cross through. He though he was going to win before he was suddenly pulled back, stumbling back as the blond raced past, laughing breathlessly. The smaller male continued on, struggling to get back to the speed he had earlier and the blond stepped into what was designated as the park before him, tripping over his own feet. He caught himself on the grass before Levi jumped on him. Erwin flailed, trying to pull him off. 

''Who said you could do that?" he asked, still breathless from the run. His legs were wrapped tightly around the other's waist and he kept smacking the other's head softly, Erwin laughing and struggling still. ''What happened to a fair run, huh? Were you afraid of getting beat by a man a full foot shorter than you?"

The blond was still laughing, now pulling at Levi's shirt to get him off. ''No, no, it's just all in good fun.''

''Do you realize how competitive I am? How powerful?"

Erwin was getting the giggles before he eventually gripped Levi's arm and used a manuever to pull him off, dropping him onto the grass but he fell too, the two exhausted. The grass was poking them, their chests rising and falling quickly. ''I win.'' Erwin stated.

Levi pounced on him and the blond began laughing again, laughing so hard he snorted and that caused the smaller man to start laughing too. It took a while for them to calm but soon Erwin rolled to stand, offering his hand to Levi. ''Can I trust you?" Levi asked before thinking about taking it. 

''An alliance.''

He reached up, sitting up as well but Erwin moved his hand out of the way at the last moment. Levi glared up at him before getting up by himself, smacking his arm as they began walking back. ''Asshole.''

''Takes one to know one.''

~*~


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They head to a July fourth party but first need to buy food for it.

Independence day. July fourth. America's birthday and a day that felt like every other day to Levi despite the explosions and massive amount of drunk people cheering down the streets. It was a useless day to him, like New Year's, but at least the celebrations of that night helped to remind him he needed a new calender for his kitchen. The Smith's lived in what was the definition of white suburbia, so of course as he drove through the neighborhood every other house had a flag on it or at least some sort of decoration, people outside already getting their festivities on. Some wore ridiculous hats, there were a few others that wore their uniforms with glee and pride, of course there were even a few kids playing with a football in the road, only moving out of the way when Levi's car drove past at a slow pace. 

The smell of barbecue absolutely smothered itself into his senses and he took in a deep breath. Smelled of home, honestly. His neighbor always barbecued his dinner, living mainly on red meat and cheap beers like every other in the city, but this time far more often and instead used a grease covered and absolutely filrthy grill to make his food. But with that smell also came the memories of the hunger in the pit of Levi's stomach, so he pushed that from his mind. He was here to pick up Erwin and take him to Mike and Nana's, their large and modern home having a nice view of the fireworks and the blond had given in on going. He didn't know how Erwin would react to fireworks, he was still closed off about the effects of war and things but had at least spoken to some degree of what was to be expected.

Most of the time the blond woke up during the night, or hallucinated something that wasn't there in and out of sleep. But Levi deemed himself to be worrying too much about it and shut the door behind himself. Cheering and laughter echoed down the street as he approached the house, simply to find papa Smith trying to coax Erwin out in his mother tongue. 

''Erwin, komm bitte. Levi ist für dich da.'' he heard through the open window, then followed by the sound of water running. There was some quiet conversation before the door opened, Erwin standing tall. There was more muscle in his stomach, Levi noticed with how his shirt fit better than it had after the man had left the hospital.

''Sorry,'' he said softly, the scar on his head being highlighted by his glowing hair. ''Shall we go?"

The smaller male gave a distant nod and Erwin jogged down the steps and to the car ahead of him, Levi taking a glance to the other male in the house before giving a gentle wave. He slipped into the car and started it, driving off into the direction of Mike and Nana's. They were both silent before the smaller male spoke, one of the few things that he knew how to say in German.

''Geht es dir gut?''

Erwin took in a breath through his nose and then back out his mouth, eyes turned to the window and watching everything that they went past during the drive. ''Dwelled too much on tonight. For no reason again. I just sort of stopped completely and zoned out, not realizing where I was or what I was doing. I stopped like a statue and scared my father. We got into an argument about it for no reason other than because I was being too defensive. Ich fühlte mich wie ein Mörder, aber das konnte ich dir nie sagen.''

Of course Levi didn't fully understand what the last part meant, but did feel some sympathy for him. ''It's because you're a dramatic blond, that's why. Every blond in films is either stupid or stupid and dramatic.''

''Thanks, Lee.''

He punched the other's arm softly. ''Hey, lighten up a bit, would you? I meant it as a joke. Come on, I was waiting for you to split off multiple already.''

The blond instead sunk deeper into the cushioning of the seat as Levi pulled into the parking lot of Winco, still extremely busy for the fourth of July. ''I'll try.''

''Don't force yourself,'' Levi opened the car door. ''You usually regret it when you do some stupid shit like that.''

Erwin stepped out of the car after him, the summer wind blowing around them with the smell of gasoline from the gas station next door and something cooking from the Rally's beside it. ''Why are we here?" Erwin asked, following Levi closely.

''To finally go to hell.''

''Oh, lovely.'' he said, following his friend in through the sliding glass doors that were forced open from the two people having an argument in the doorway. ''I thought I'd always go there.''

Levi cut through the self-checkout to get to the store easier since there was a specific route that others needed to take in order to really circle around the store. ''Fine, you wanna hear a joke? Because you're being a grumpy piece of shit right now and I don't want to deal with your sad ass.'' he meant it in a caring way and Erwin knew that, that's why he smiled. 

''Yeah, of course. Only if I can tell you mine first.''

''Go ahead.''

''A man dies and goes to Hell. The devil greets him, 'You may choose which room you wish to enter. Whichever you choose, the person in that room will switch with you. They'll go to heaven and you'll take over until somebody switches with you. So go on, pick a room.' The devil leads him to the first room where someone is tied to a wall and is being whipped. The second room has someone being burned by a torch. The third has a man getting blown by a naked woman. 'I choose this room!' the man says. 'Very well,' the devil says. He walks up to the woman and taps her on the shoulder. 'You can go now. I've found you're replacement.' ''

Levi grinned before chuckling, looking up at Erwin once they stopped in front of the cake displays. The blond was smiling in return. ''That's not bad.''

''You were waiting for a pun, weren't you?"

''I was, yeah, but that was good.''

He looked back to the cake case, still smiling and the taller man chuckled, evidently proud of himself. ''And what are we looking for specifically?" he asked, then leaning against Levi with his arm on his shoulder. 

''Cake. Ice cream. I was voted to get that stuff for the party.''

''Its just the group isn't it?"

''I hope so.'' he said, getting a relatively sized cake. It was rather ugly and sad to look at but it was a cake. He pulled away to get the ice cream and Erwin followed, still on his shoulder. ''I don't think I'd be able to deal with more incompetent and stupid fucks today.''

''Well the best ones are our friends.''

''The only ones I can stand. Should we just meet in the middle and get an ice cream cake?"

Erwin looked over his shoulder, looking down at the price of the cake in Levi's hand compared to the price of the tub of ice cream. He pursed his lips and looked towards the ice cream cakes that were directly between the ice cream and the cakes and hummed. ''Two ice cream cakes I think.''

Levi put the cake back and met a happy Erwin holding a cake in each hand, precipitation dripping off the plastic containers. Both cakes were a good size so they slipped through the ocean of people in the check-out lines to the self checkouts and scanned the cakes. He made sure the taller man had a good grip on them, one under each arm as they slipped through the doors and the people. Erwin one between his feet in the car, the air conditioner blowing on it and the other on his lap, guarded from the sun as much as possible. Getting out of the parking lot was a nightmare, but finally when they were out and away from the chaos of the store, it was a smooth ride from there.

They approached the neighborhood and he pulled up behind the familiar sticker covered car of Hange's, both men making sure they had everything before stepping out of the car and walking up the pathway to the door. Erwin knocked, both hearing some ruckus from inside. 

''Did you miss cake overseas?" Levi asked quietly.

''I missed a lot of things, give me to what degree and I could answer that better.''

''Did you miss it as much as you missed me?" he joked. 

''I couldn't miss anything more than you, Levi.''

His eyes widened a bit before the door opened, a smiling Mike greeting both men and slapping them on the back. He took the cakes and invited them inside, Erwin removing his shoes and following him as Levi removed his own at a slower pace. Hange appeared and grabbed him, pulling him into a bear hug at the last moment, swinging him from side to side like a ragdoll. He could hear Moblit's voice mixed with Hange's before he walked to the living room. 

Mike was outside grilling, talking with Erwin and Nanaba was inside mixing something together that he noted may have been either potato salad or macaroni salad. He pulled his attention to the couple now on the couch, simply cuddling and calmly arguing over who got the controller. So he spoke with Nana, seeing that the other few parties were too busy to be disturbed. 

''What're you making?" he asked. 

''Macaroni salad. My mom used to make it in the deli she worked in so she passed down the recipe to me. Its the only one I know from heart.'' she smiled, adding a few more things to it before mixing it all together in a big bowl. ''What is your mother doing for tonight?"

''Tonight she's going to cuddle her rat dog in a baby blanket.'' he answered, sitting on a barstool. ''We've never done much for the fourth, but we did stay up a few times and looked out the windows at night.''

''Oh, you were that close to the fireworks?"

''Idiots did it in the parking lot of the complex, so yeah.'' he ended with a smile and she smiled back, finishing up the macaroni salad. Nana brushed past and set the bowl in the refrigerator before turning around to figure out what else she needed to do.

''We have cakes-''

''Ice cream cakes.''

''Forgive me, ice cream cakes, salad, Mike is making burgers and hot dogs. There's beer-''

''Can't celebrate without beer.''

She cracked a grin. ''Buns too and we moved the awning so you can see the sky and hopefully see the fireworks, unless we're facing the wrong way.''

''Can climb onto the roof easily.'' 

The back door opened and the tall men entered, both holding plates of hotdogs and burgers. ''We have condiments as well. I think we're set.''

''Food?" Hange asked, now drifting out from the living room, Moblit in tow. ''Ooh, food...'' they practically began to drool at the sight as Erwin set a plate down alongside Mike. It worked like a buffet, moving from the choice of burgers and hot dogs to macaroni salad and then what to put on your food. Hange just dumped it all together and ate it like that with the chips and dip closeby. 

Each person had their food and was gathered in the living room, eating delicious food made on the hosts' part. They ate and talked until the sun started to set, hearing some distant fireworks throughout that time before cake was served and they went to sit outside. They all seated themselves on the woven outdoor furniture, Levi sitting beside Erwin as the others sat crowded around the table. Both men said they were fine where they were, and he wasn't complaining despite the fact Erwin seemed to need all the elbow room when eating his slice. It had gotten dark and the lights strung up around them was the only source of light before the show began. Everyone jumped, not expecting it much as explosions sounded out in the sky, followed by trails of lights and bright colors and the distant smell of smoke. 

Levi set his paper plate on the ground beside the couch with his fork ontop of it, Erwin still holding his in his lap. His blue eyes were focused on the sky and the lights that blew up for them. He was so deeply focused on them before Levi noticed the slightly hazy look in them. The man was silent, unmoving as the explosions continued before his eyes simply grew empty, like his mind wasn't reeling. Levi shifted his sight back up to find one exploding from red to white, followed by blue but interrupted by a large green one that took attention away from it. Everyone else there was watching the fireworks, Mike with his large arms enveloping the smaller woman and Moblit being used as a pillow as Hange watched them as well. 

He shifted beside Erwin, in a way to show he was there and leaned into his side, looking up as he finally felt Erwin move. ''You in there, blondie?" he asked. 

A faint smile spread across his lips and showed his gleaming teeth. ''Yeah... Yeah I'm in here. I can appreciate them more now... Though they still scare me a bit.''

He lifted his hand and brushed some crumbs off of Erwin's cheek. ''Everyone gets scared by fireworks when they start,'' he said, noticing that the others were still utterly transfixed on the fireworks in the sky and not on the conversation behind them. But the fireworks were still far too loud for them to hear anything around them. 

Erwin tilted his head into Levi's hand. ''I was far more scared before they started, actually. Just sometimes it sounds too much like a grenade exploding, but they're followed by cheers, not screams or orders.'' the smaller male thought about how Erwin must have been after waking up in the hospital, side in pain and thoughts on the fact that the man that was supposed to be specially trained in that division had gotten several others killed because of his ignorance. Blame, guilt. Things he shouldn't have felt in that moment but did so anyways.

''Still fucking loud as shit, though,'' Levi said. ''Up until two in the morning, fucking ridiculous.''

The blond turned his head and looked at the smaller male, both finding that his hand was still softly against the other's cheek. ''But they're pretty.'' he answered. The fireworks reflected in the lens of Erwin's eyes, warming them to a degree. It wasn't long after that he could feel himself drift to a memory before the gap between them closed. 

Lips simply brushed together before Levi held onto Erwin's cheek and kissed him in a deeper manner, neither man not fully knowing what they were doing in that moment. They pulled back as quickly as they had pressed together, wide eyed and confused. This confusion dragged on for a moment and both of them checked the group before pressing together again, firmer this time. Erwin's hand ghosted up to Levi's jaw, the smaller man holding on still to the other's cheek. He could taste the chocolate and french vanilla embedded on his lips, alongside something that he guessed he would have to call his signature flavor. It became more passionate and he knew they were going to go too far before a firework popped and screamed across the sky, pulling them both apart as a reminder that that wasn't the place or the time to do that. 

He looked deep into the light blue pools and softly rubbed his thumb against the cheekbone of the other, shifting his eyes down to the crook in the man's nose and his lips before back up, finding appreciation for the large scar across the other's head. The next kiss was soft and brief, like a gentle thanks spoken between them both before they settled into each other, looking up at the sky to appreciate the fireworks with their fingers intertwined.

~*~


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Erwin start to figure out how to be in a relationship for the first time in a while and try to further it as best as they can. Levi listens to Erwin debate on fries for too long and helps him build his house. Then Nile and Marie's wedding rolls around.

Erwin was getting pretty far with building, or so he said. It was still simply a foundation in need of more support, but that was being worked on at the moment, the blond carrying heavy blocks around by himself or sometimes lumber. The smaller male, of course, watched the entire time since he was told not to help, watching the taller blond hoisting things onto his broad shoulders and setting them down in a different area. 

Over the past two days, nothing more had occured between them after the kiss that evening. Simply they had finished watching fireworks and watched Hange fuck around with pop rocks and nearly light their hair on fire with a firework. He had driven him home in silence, the atmosphere stern and thick but the blond had left the car with a genuine thank you and little grin. He was now transfixed on the how far the man had come from nearly dying in the hospital to building a goddamn house. 

Though he was mainly transfixed on the muscles that dared to burst the shirt and rip its seams, sweat causing the cloth to stick as well. Erwin was very broad chested and large, though Levi made several breast jokes to himself during this time. It was a while until Erwin took notice of him standing there, ready to help with his arms crossed and eyes focused on the curves of his body. He looked to be taking very good care of himself.

''Oh...'' the blond stated, now dropping the rest of the wood off. ''Sorry, Levi.''

He shrugged. ''I'm small anyways.'' he answered. 

Erwin smiled, walking forth. ''Do you want to grab something to eat? I only had a small breakfast, so I could make it up to you by buying you lunch.''

''You don't have to do that. What place did you have in mind?"

''I want to,'' he said, stealing Levi's keys from his pocket and walking to the car, playing a game of catch with himself. ''I was thinking Taco Bell. Its nearby.''

Levi turned and followed him to his car, slipping into the passenger's seat and haing no issue with letting the taller male drive. ''Literally nothing here is nearby, Erwin.'' he buckled himself in, Erwin putting the key in the ignition. ''You live in the goddamn middle of nowhere and anywhere nearby is a thirty minute drive.''

''Nothing is that far away, though I do admit that we are a good distance from things. How about Panda Express?"

''Sure. Can you eat that stuff?"

''My stomach isn't that weak, Levi. I'm still careful.''

''I'm just being careful too. You're the one with the fucked up stomach, anyways.''

''I know, I know.'' he turned out onto the road, passing by some horses watching them over the white fence. ''That's my own issue, though.''

''Was it quiet the rest of the night for you after fireworks?"

''Yeah...'' it was obvious that Erwin had no idea how to approach the situation about the kiss as much as Levi, and they found themselves acting like confused teenagers instead of grown adults with diplomas and that graduated from esteemed college's. It was fucking ridiculous, but they did also begin to act like this whenever something awkward happened. Needed a little critiquing, but at least it wasn't as bad when they were actual teens, developing acne and god knows what else while they're voices cracked so much that they could break glass. ''Kids came to the house the next morning wanting me to go with them to their baseball game at Buchanan stadium. Little made up game.''

Buchanan was the most esteemed high school in the entirety of the city, above all others and revered for its good grades and Olympic style athletes, churning out some of the most sterotypical white people you'd ever see in your time on Earth. But the two were always told that if Buchanan was seen on their resume, they'd be  one of the first on the list for the job. That wasn't exactly the case, but Levi was accepted into Berkelely for his these astounding grades. He gave no thanks to the school, simply himself and his low patience for the other's on that campus. 

''Did you ever think about doing tennis while at school?" he asked abruptly.

''I did some tennis with my father and used the school's courts, if that makes a difference,'' Erwin answered, now driving off onto the main road that would lead them to the rest of civilization. ''Quite a loved sport by my family and the closest to baseball.''

''Did you wear the wristbands and the headband?" Levi grinned. ''Like an ugly yellow or pale white?"

Erwin smiled, pulling up to the traffic lights beside urgent care. ''No no, I wouldn't go that far with it. Though my father did tell me about a friend he had back in school that would wear all of that and booty shorts.''

''Ew no.''

''Come on,'' he turned his head to look at Levi. ''Sometimes booty shorts are pretty nice.''

''I've never seen booty shorts that compliment a person well. Especially when it looks like they're smuggling birds in their shorts.''

The taller male laughed, speeding down the center lane. ''Here, get my phone,'' he said, patting for it in his pocket. Levi dug it out and turned it on. ''2137.'' he unlocked it. ''Go to my photos. Downloads, actually.''

''Do I want to know what you have saved here?" he questioned, flipping through apps and pictures. ''What am I looking for?"

''You'll know.''

He came across a photo of a chiseled man wearing blue short shorts and sticking his ass out until Levi realized he was standing straight and casually. ''Jesus Christ...'' he muttered. ''Never mind. But why the hell do you have this saved? Did going to the gay bar awaken something in you?"

Dark blue eyes turned to find Erwin chewing his lip. 

''Erwin?"

''Possibly.'' he stated quickly, pulling up in a parking lot. They were in a large shopping center, places of food dotted around and a K-mart behind them. ''Look, food, lets go.'' the taller man was out like a light, leaving the keys on the car seat for Levi to pick up.

He stepped out after pocketing his keys and locked the car with the press of a button, following Erwin with a shit-eating grin on his face. ''Hey, hey, come back here you shit.''

The blond practically ran into K-mart, nearly running into an older couple that were looking at the windchimes for sale. Levi jogged in after him, following his zig-zagged path through the store and around aisles. There was no chance of him slowing down and Levi knew the employees were watching them. Down a quiet aisle, Levi grabbed a pillow and threw it as hard as possible. It bounced off of Erwin's head and caused a distraction so he could catch him. 

He took hold of Erwin's belt and pulled him back with as much strength as he could muster, which meant he was dragged a few feet before the blond halted. His grip was far too strong on his belt. ''Calm down, stop acting like a child. You know that I have no problem with you dating anyone. Shit, Erwin, we fucking kissed the other night.''

Erwin looked down at him with big eyes before turning them away. ''I know.''

''Then if you know, let's go get some food and fill you up.''

The blond had to buy a pillow, though, one in the pattern of a hamburger and then they left the store. Across the parking lot was Toledo's, but over by the mall across the road was Red Robin. They settled for the latter, sitting in a booth in the center of the restaurant with a wall dividing them from the bar. Erwin flipped quietly through the menu, debating on what he could eat and what he shouldn't while Levi made his decision and sat back, sipping his coke and listening to a child laugh in the back with his parents. 

''I don't know what I should get...'' Erwin said with a pout, searching for what he wanted to eat. ''This all looks so good...''

''Erwin, seriously, just get whatever catches your eye and lets eat. I'm getting hungry.''

''Should I get garlic fries or regular fries?"

''Either way they're bottomless and you'll eat them too fast and burn your tongue.''

''Garlic sounds pretty good but last time I ate them...''

''I'm begging you, please just fucking choose, Erwin.''

''Maybe just regular would be a better idea, what do you think?" he looked up to him for confirmation.

''Regular.'' he answered, shrugging his shoulders. 

''Hm,'' that was the noise of indecisiveness. ''But garlic sounds so good.''

At this point, Levi hung his head in his hands and watched him struggle with making the life changing decision between garlic fries and regular fries while relaxing in the red booth with his unnaturally beautiful blue eyes reading the pages, strong hands holding the menu very tenderly. His brows, now fuller, were pulled in concentration and a frown was on his chiseled face before he set the menu down. A foot set itself beside Levi's thigh as Erwin relaxed more into the booth. 

''Have you chosen yet?" he asked, lifting his head up and the blond nodded. 

''Regular fries and a crispy chicken burger.''

''Sure you can eat all that?''

''I can eat all of it and half of yours if I wanted.''

Levi was unwrapping the silverware from the napkin and he pointed his fork at Erwin. ''Try me. I'll cut you.''

Erwin simply smiled in return and they ordered when the waiter came back. The blond's water glass was filled up and he said a quiet thank you before raising the glass to his lips. Then again came the silence and some times they cleared their throats. What really could they update each other on? Or say from then forth? Not like the smaller male could do much to initiate anything more, or to say anything to spurr the other on. That was Erwin's job. 

He did though set his hand on the blond's leg and tap a rhythm into it as he lifted his glass to his lips. Erwin watched him, both making direct eye contact and it grew stronger as they sat there. ''What?" the blond finally broke it as he spoke and Levi looked down at the foot on the seat beside him. 

''Nothing.''

~*~

Erwin took his to-go box back to the building site and they continued working in silence, the sounds of construction and kids playing in the background was really all that could be heard, cicadas screaming in the background and giving that summer feel that they nearly lost when the temperature went down to ninety-five. 

The raven haired man was helping with the foundation, excavation crew now arrived and he was then forced to sit back and watch. It was mainly sorting for other things in the future, for Erwin, so the crew worked and he sat there. Next were building lines and that was when the blond could do what he wanted, still full from his lunch and working. The sun started setting before they knew it and Levi wiped the thick layer of sweat from his brow before looking to Erwin who seemed very pleased with what he had accomplished so far, hopping out of the moreso hole before walking over to get his water and get in the car. 

He grabbed Erwin abruptly and the man turned to look at him in concern before Levi cupped the back of his neck and pulled him down. The kiss was a mess and neither male knew where to put their hands or how to properly touch the other before Erwin dropped his water bottle and set his hands on the smaller male's hips, pushing him into the car. 

Levi pulled him closer and became breathless, feeling how firm the other's body was but how gentle his hands were when touching his hips. There was still the tangy taste of ranch mixed between them and even though he wanted to say something about it, this was too much to truly give up. Was the time earlier a date without him knowing?

Had he been that mystery person all along?

Erwin pulled away, face flushed softly and short blond hair shining in the sun, his blue eyes reflecting the warm summer day as his hands slid up Levi's sides and down again. The smaller male played with the hair on the back of the other's head and rubbed his thumb against his jaw, eyes staying on his plump lips before moving up to the eyes again, simply to find them staring at him. Levi kissed him, softer this time, and felt the other instantly press into it, strong arms wrapping tighter around him. Erwin placed his head on Levi's shoulder, having trapped the man inbetween his strong body and the car, and held him there. 

He wrapped his arms around Erwin's neck and held him in place, kissing his ear softly or his cheek before simply pressing his face into his struggling to grow hair, the sky turning into a pale orange as the sun tried to  reach its setting time. 

~*~

A white letter with black detailings on the corners was dropped on the counter in front of Levi, the glass of orange juice lifted to his lips then being placed aside so he could pick it up. He was told simply to wear a suit and was questioning whether or not he was driving Erwin to the wedding. It looked like he was as he began reading it over, seeing the times and the two names at the top. Nile... Marie-to-be Dok. 

The house seemed to pause as his dark blue eyes skimmed over the words, then lifting slowly to papa Smith who had dropped it on the table for Levi to look at. ''Today...'' he said softly.

'''Yeah...'' the pale blond responded. ''It's today. Erwin didn't exactly understand how to approach it so he just told you to wear a suit.''

Levi sat up, letting out a sigh through his nose. ''Well wearing a suit was a big enough hint, anyways. What is he wearing?"

''He was asked to wear his military uniform. I don't know if he is struggling with it or not, but he's getting dressed now.''

''Hm, typical wedding here it looks like.'' Levi turned his eyes to the living room to see if Erwin had walked down yet. ''I don't have an issue with going. I'll stay with him the entire time if I have to. Though I guess I'll need to cut back on insults.''

''If it makes Erwin laugh, don't worry about it. Be you. That's what he's going to need today.''

Erwin was supposed to be the one stressing about his wedding day, was supposed to be the one wondering if his friends were going to arrive on time to his wedding with Marie, not Nile. Nile didn't deserve that place, that position nor that love from that woman. In Levi's opinion, Nile didn't deserve any of the happiness that that woman brought him but then he realized how damn depressing and rude that was. Marie and Erwin seperated ways for very genuine reasons and the closest she could get to someone she loved was Nile. The blond had taken that very well, but couldn't exactly face the fact that they were getting married. Mainly because he could only imagine himself in that position.

But now he was with Levi, dressing himself in his military uniform upstairs and scuffling upstairs. 

Dark blue eyes turned to the white letter again, finding more crumples in it. Erwin had probably crumpled it one evening, overthinking things and thinking about what he could have done to change their fate together, what he could have done to stay with her and be in Nile's place instead. 

Footsteps creaking down the carpeted stairs stopped Levi and he slipped off the barstool, papa Smith following him and they watched Erwin walk down the staircase in the uniform. A black jacket with different colors of medals on the breast, an insignia obviously hand made accompanying them but standing out with the machine made ones. His white cap caused the golden wings on the front to shine, the golden band on the hat sitting upon the polished black front. His white gloves were being pulled on, polished shoes reaching the bottom of the steps and cobalt eyes flicked up to the smaller male. His jaw was strongly set, hand moving up to his throat to fix his shirt and tie before Levi approached.

His smaller hands slipped up to his neck and fixed some things that he wouldn't have been able to see from his position and then kept his hands against his firm chest, eyes watching him. ''Breathe...'' he whispered, Erwin taking a deep breath and letting it out very slowly. ''You'll be fine.''

The blond did it again, carefully breathing and relaxing slowly, placing his hands upon Levi's. His face drifted closer and they pressed their noses together, a quiet moment of letting the calm wrap around them, utter silence coming from the man behind them. Erwin rubbed his thumbs against Levi's hands and simply stood in the quiet. Neither man made a motion to seperate, hearing papa Smith's steps echo into the kitchen lightly but that was all. 

''We need to go,'' Levi whispered. 

Erwin made a low noise before pulling his face away, hands falling from his chest before they sorted themselves back into reality and Levi walked to the front door. Erwin made some conversation with his father in his mother tongue before walking out to the car, some kids playing in the street again that waved to him. He gave a gentle wave in return, both noticing one kid in utter awe of his uniform before he slipped into the car. Levi followed, typing the directions into the maps app on his cell phone. 

''Where did the wings insignia come from?" he asked, mentioning the one on his breast instead of the one on his hat. 

''It's a personal thing between my group and I,'' Erwin explained, looking down at his chest and pressing his fingers against the hand sewn item. ''It's really the only reason why I've never thrown this out or at least burned it, I guess. I don't want to damage anything by ripping it off, either. Ripping it off of someone's jacket meant that they were dead and a count would be made of the amount of wings to count how many undocumented deaths there were. The Wings of Freedom, we called them. No-one in the group wanted to be on the ground floor, wanted to be either in the Navy like me or in the Air Force. We didn't want to be in the infantry. When we handed the folded flag over to the next of kin at funerals, we handed over the wings as well. Handing over the wings meant we were letting them go to be with their family. It means more than fighting for the flag does. With the wings we had hope in the darkest hours.''

Levi drove slowly as not to disturb the peace of the surburban neighborhood, simply listening to Erwin talk. ''Did the next of kin understand?"

''Yeah. Always. The flag would be under their arm while the wings would be held to their heart desperately. The last part they could keep of the person being buried.''

The drive grew quiet and the smaller male turned his eyes to Erwin, seeing him zoning off into another world with his eyes set on the dashboard. Probably to across the seas, or even up in the mountain town. His hand slipped over to the ones set in the larger man's lap and intertwined their fingers. It was squeezed immediately and he held his hand tightly, a secure way to show that he was there. 

All in all, the drive took about half an hour, out in a wine garden. He noticed several cars and pulled up, robotic voice informing him that he had arrived to his destination and Levi turned it off, Erwin still holding on desperately to his hand. He looked to him, unbuckling his seatbelt and leaned over to kiss his cheek softly. ''We can go whenever you want. You know I won't have any issue with going home.''

Erwin turned his head to him and they locked eyes before the blond kissed him tenderly, all his exasperation being let out and the grip on his hand loosened a small amount. They gazed at each other for a moment, forgetting that a wedding was going to start before the blond sighed. ''Let's get going.''

Levi followed Erwin's lead, pocketing his keys and noticing all the people starting to seat themselves in white plastic chairs set up for the occasion. He watched Erwin skim his eyes over the people and the setting, Nile interrupting his reminiscence with a handshake. ''I'm so glad you could make it man,''

The smaller male stood back, Erwin telling him to find a seat for them both. He chose seats at the back but where they could still see the reception, the blond having a quick conversation with Nile before he sat down in the white seat beside Levi's, removing his hat as a sign of respect. ''You alright?" Levi asked quietly and the blond nodded, taking a deep breath. 

''Her family is here, obviously. So is Nile's. I'll probably be trapped in conversation and updates.''

The wait seemed to drone on before the music began and the audience stood, Erwin standing as well alongside Levi to watch Marie walking down the aisle with the bouquet of flowers in her hands. Her dress was beautiful, having lovely detailings on it and a long train, hair pinned up and eyes gleaming. She really was beautiful, and Nile really was lucky to have her giving herself to him for the remainder of her years. Everyone sat back down, watching them take each other's hands and smile at each other before the service began. It seemed to drone on, in Levi's opinion and he could feel Erwin starting to grow agitated beside him and subtely held his hand, the blond relaxing a small amount. 

When it was finished, there was cheering and the newlywed couple disappeared to take photos as the audience meandered and caught up with each other, laughter and conversation before music began to play. It was how Erwin said, he got stuck between two conversations, one with Marie's parents and the other with Nile's. He seemed to do well, easily answering questions and talking, giving soft smiles and getting regular hugs as he talked. Of course Erwin was the ex that the family enjoyed to talk to still and they'd probably invite him over for dinner if Nile wasn't now related to them by law. There was though a distant ache in his blue eyes, the way he held the glass of water he had been handed earlier and how he even moved. 

It hurt Levi to watch him stuck in this position between these families, those that he was so close to but knew he couldn't talk to very often. People he cared deeply for but couldn't really find the bravery to talk more, the wall of he and Marie seperating always standing tall between his feelings and his words. In order to see the soul, you had to look through the eyes, and as of now he was showing everything, the family members around him either too blind to notice or just ignored it. Levi actually hoped that they couldn't notice the pain now starting to dwell in his eyes before Nile caught his attention and thanked Levi for bringing Erwin.

''You know, without you I don't think he'd be here.''

''Well I drove him, so,'' he answered, shaking hands with Nile reluctantly. 

''I mean in other ways,'' Nile side. ''The break-up was hard, so was him joining the military. A little bird told me that you worked some magic in his hospital room anyways.''

Levi's grip on Nile's hand loosened a bit and they seperated. ''A little bird?"

''Told me all about when you found out he was drinking. How well you both handled it and how careful you were, mainly how much you care about him. When he got liver cancer, went through chemo. You were always by his side. You're what he's needed his entire life, and I can see him starting to move on.''

''Oddly nice of you...''

''Well,'' Nile moved to pat Levi's shoulder but his hand was smacked away quickly. He dropped his hand, smiling softly. ''You're taking care of him. The man that takes care of everyone else. It's my wedding day anyways. I can't help but be nice and happy.''

He blinked a bit, following Nile's stare to the blond who was still deep in conversation with someone, another giving him a quick hug and he smiled at them. No doubt he was probably trying to figure out who the person was before there was a break and he then realized, giving them a stronger hug. He was pulled from the conversation there to another about someone, both persons looking to a woman at the far side over by the punch bowl.

Of course, weddings were the hook-up sights for those that were single. He and Erwin hadn't done much to show that they were together, either. That was a grey area between them anyways. But the blond gave a soft smile, setting his hands on either of the woman's shoulders, telling her something quietly. Instantly green eyes turned to Levi and Nile, Erwin turning his eyes over as well with a genuine grin. 

Bastard.

But Levi grinned in return, instantly knowing that Erwin had said everything about Levi. 

''Well then,'' the woman said. ''I'll remember that. Have a nice day,'' she said, tapping his shoulder and moving away quickly. Erwin stood tall, adjusting the hat upon his head and brushing off the wings on his breast, eyes not moving from Levi's. From then forth, the party wasn't as difficult to get through. They stayed for the dinner and watched the couple cut the cake with pretty happy faces. It surprised Levi how pleased Erwin was with himself and he spoke into his ear as they were seated and watching the couple. 

''You look pretty damn happy.'' 

A soft smile spread on Erwin's face and he leaned back into Levi. ''I don't have to dwell on the fact I'm single while watching a married couple eat their cake.''

''I fucking hope not,'' Levi said, taking a sip of Erwin's champagne. ''Or else dating you is of no use.''

Erwin turned his head, looking to the smaller male. ''Can we go?"

''Why?"

''I'm in a mood and would rather finish it off at your apartment.''

A thin, dark eyebrow raised, but so did the corners of his lips. ''Yeah, let's disappear.''

~*~


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin struggles to make breakfast after their first night together and then gets a letter from the lawyer involved with the case against his mother back when he was ten. Levi gets angry and goes for a run with Hange before he and Erwin head up to the mountain town.

He'd be damned the day Erwin was able to do something quietly. Of course he could hear the pots and pans colliding and falling to the floor that late morning, an alarm over the calm sound of the fan, some cursing following that and a low chuckle left the smaller male's mouth. Idiot. Levi sat up, waiting to hear Erwin curse and crash around some more but heard nothing besides the drawer opening followed by the sound of an egg being cracked upon the counter.

How nice of him, making breakfast. Levi popped his back, a little worse for wear that morning, and slipped out from under the covers. He picked Erwin's clothes off the ground and draped the military jacket over the foot of the bed, followed by the tie and pants. Shirt he did the same with and found his sweatpants before shuffling out to the kitchen. Erwin was too distracted as he made breakfast, lips pursed as he concentrated on making the best scrambled eggs he could. He as also frying some turkey that Levi had bought in the pan, wanting to make the best breakfast. Levi glided up behind him and pressed his lips to the scars that showed themselves on his shoulder. Erwin had pulled his undershirt on alongside his boxers that morning and slipped out, too exhausted to fully dress in the rest of the uniform.

Levi hadn't expected Erwin's full body to stiffen upon his actions and he pulled his face away, hands lightly on the others hips. ''Sorry.'' he stated quickly, apologizing for touching the scars. The blond lowered the spatula down on the counter, looking down at the eggs that were slowly cooking and shook his head. Words were obviously difficult for him to form there and the smaller man instead kissed his cheek, then slinking back to get himself tea.

Erwin grabbed his wrist and pulled him back, kissing him lightly before letting go of him again, turning back to the eggs to stir them while the turkey cooked longer. The raven haired man watched him a moment and wanted to reach out but retracted his hand and turned back to what he had been focused on doing in the first place. He was slow with his actions, stomach growling once he smelled the food before the turkey was held in front of his mouth.

''Say ah,'' Erwin said quietly. Levi opened his mouth, taking a bite and turned his eyes to find the other grinning at him. He chewed, patting Erwin's cheek as he began to eat the rest of it, going back to the eggs carefully.

The blond scooped the eggs onto two small plates, then struggling with Levi's toaster before throwing two pieces of bland bread down instead, having given up. The smaller man turned his eyes to him and then to his ass, walking up behind him and taking a handful. ''The toaster stopped working a while ago.'' he informed him. Erwin sighed, brows raising.

''That's probably why it didn't work, then...''

Levi instead got tortillas out, the two making breakfast burritos. His looked pretty good, nicely wrapped up, filled with egg and cheese and looked more like a burrito that would be shown in commercials. Erwin's- not so much. The tortilla was ripped, some egg was falling out the bottom and the cheese wasn't entirely melted either. His looked more like what ads would show as the opposing brand's food instead of what should be bought. But he ate it anyways, grease running down his arm but he didn't care. He did frequently wipe himself off, though, Levi calmly eating his own as he watched the other struggle with his food.

He breathed down some egg when he laughed and began coughing, Erwin looking up in alarm. He cleared his throat, coughing a bit more and waiting for his throat to adjust. ''I've seen you get bigger down your throat, why is some egg an issue?" Erwin blurted. 

The hand towel near Levi was thrown at the blond's head and he began laughing, mouth still mainly full with food. He caught it and tossed it back, regretting his decision when it was used to whip him in the ass roughly. Levi then finished off by throwing it at him again, Erwin laughing and taking refuge behind the dining table before sauntering back out. ''If you wanna live, I'd say you watch yourself.'' Levi said finally, taking a final bite of his food as Erwin stepped past and finished up his mess of breakfast as well. 

He showed no remorse for his words, but it was true. And, Levi reluctantly admitted, kinda funny too. ''I couldn't help it!" Erwin said, his plate being washed up by the smaller man that was giving him the silent treatment. ''Lee...''

A soft kiss was placed to his lips. ''Be quiet.''

~*~

Erwin was laying ontop of Levi, inbetween his legs on the couch with his head on the smaller man's chest. Levi was rubbing his head, trying to get him to look at him but the blond refused. Something had obviously happened during the day, whether it be because of building or something else, but Erwin was silent. The smaller male sighed, giving up and laying his head back against the armrest to watch the television while his thumb outlined Erwin's ear. ''Did you have a nice day building or did the heat finally get to you?" he asked.

The blond shifted, switching his head position to watch the television with dwelling eyes. ''My mom wants to see me for the first time since she's gone to jail...''

Levi stiffened and his thumb slowed from browing the channels. ''When did you find this out?" he asked, still outlining and rubbing Erwin's ear with care. Last he heard, she had wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, blaming him for everything and taking her anger out on her innocent son. Now, she was asking for something that she couldn't ever get. She had made her mistakes and trying to connect with Erwin now would never work. The woman had scarred him terribly, and even his father avoided contact when she asked for someone to visit. 

''This morning. I received a letter from the lawyer that helped solve the case with my father. Nice guy, but he is saying I shouldn't because of how much counseling I had to go to afterwards.''

''Well no shit, Erwin-'' Levi said, pausing the television so he could talk to the blond.

Erwin sat up, grumbling as he did so. ''I still feel like I need to go to see her. Even though she's hurt me, nearly killed me, caused my first night terrors... It's my mom... That's the issue. I feel like I need to do something or make something up to her, like I'm responsible for this. All of this. What she's molded me to believe, has molded me to blame myself for things. And I just-'' he rubbed his face, obviously irritated and exhausted with his own mindset. ''Want to fucking remind myself that not everything is my fault but its so goddamn difficult now! I blame myself for the deaths of my comrades because of what she has caused me to believe, what she has taught me to think, and I can't step back from that...''

He swallowed thickly, opening his mouth to say more but a stiff noise left his mouth instead and Erwin dropped his hands. Blue pools reflected and the blond wanted to hold back tears, Levi very gently wrapping his arms around him. ''You do what you think is necessary, understood?" he said softly.

The blond nodded, still swallowing his guilt and sadness. Levi nodded as well, pulling him back to cuddle before he went off to continue construction on his home. That next week, Levi got a message from Erwin saying that he was heading to the penitentary to visit, stating he'd be back later that evening to update him on what happened. The smaller male was actually rather frustrated with the idea of Erwin talking with his mother, and he stormed around his apartment before settling on finding Hange. 

Hange though was at Woodward park, the unsettled area with dirt trails to run on. They apparently were going to go run with Moblit, and Levi went with. He was going to go by Erwin's construction site later to check on his progress. He said nothing as he ran, ignoring any words that came from the other two and lost them not long after, taking the more difficult trail that would eventually end up connecting to the others. Levi kept running, ignoring the searing pain in his leg and the burn in his lungs as he hopped over roots that stuck out of the ground, using his momentum to hop from high rock to high rock, jumping down and landing wrong on his ankle.

He hissed in pain and limped to a fallen log, sitting there and nursing it before he heard the running steps of Hange and Moblit approaching. Moblit, who had gone to college for medical school, stopped and kneeled in front of Levi to check his ankle while Hange talked to him. 

''Where'd you go running off to?" they asked, hands on their hips and panting from the run. 

Levi pointed, his ankle being rolled slowly. ''Not broken. Not sprained, either,'' Moblit said and stood. ''Probably just pulled something.'' He stood as well, far more careful. 

''Eh, well I guess I should be heading home, then...'' Hange smacked him on the shoulder, Moblit giving a wave. He was careful on his way back, cursing the entire time he had to go uphill to reach his car. Finally, when he did, Levi slumped in the seat and stared at the steering wheel, wondering how Erwin was doing just then. As if his mind was being read, a text popped up from the blond. 

'where r?' was his message

'Woodward. Why?'

'i decided against visits. can we do somthin/'

'Meet at Sierra Vista in ten minutes.'

' :) '

He swung by his apartment and changed into not so sweaty clothes before taking some painkillers, grabbing his wallet before heading out. The drive wasn't that long, but the summer sun seemed to hit him from every single angle and he was pissy about that. Levi parked and headed inside, finding Erwin in the Chinese grill with his eyes set on his phone. He sat down in front of him and blue eyes turned up. ''Hey.''

''Hi there. What changed your mind?" he asked, putting his arm up on the back of the booth. 

Erwin turned his phone off and set it aside. ''I got dressed, got ready and was heading to my car when just suddenly something snapped.'' he lifted his drink to his lips and sucked on the straw. ''Suddenly I couldn't see why I needed nor wanted to go, so I got bored and went back inside and slept in. Then I messaged you.''

''Hm, alright. What are you going to do if you get more letters?"

''Tell him I don't want to see her. Simple. And if she's angry about it, then so be it. Going to see her will just be a step in the wrong direction. Anyways, they have the pepperoni pretzels here, don't they?"

''Yeah, pizza pretzels.''

''Can we share one?"

''Sure, Erwin. Let's get some food and go look around.'' The blond cheerfully stood, following Levi out of the grill. A short distance from there was the stand and Levi sat at one of the metal tables while the other bought the food. The cashier was staring at the long scar on the side of Erwin's head, making no effort to hide the fact, either. Erwin obviously knew this and unconciously scratched over the scar, rubbing his head and then attempting to cover it up as best to his ability without his hair. 

The blond came back, dropping the bag on the table and opening up the little ranch container before ripping the pretzel in half. ''That was fucking rude of him.'' Levi said, Erwin shaking his head. 

''It happens. Scars like this are always questioned.''

Levi picked up his half and ripped a smaller bit off, dipping it in the ranch as Erwin took a bite of his own. ''Still could have fucking realized that its not nice to stare like that.''

''It doesn't matter to me anymore. People stare, people gaze, question how and why I got it. It's just a scar and I can make up as many different stories as I want, anyways. Fought a bear, got it while skydiving, whatever. I don't have to tell them I got it because of my own mother. Its nothing, really. Doesn't matter, so let it go.''

His jaw clenched momentarily but Levi let it go. They finished up the pretzel and threw their trash away, then wandering around the mall aimlessly and reaching a very quiet store that had metal statues. Erwin looked, picking up a few and then coming up behind Levi once the smaller man noticed something. ''Wanna see my cock?"

''What?" he snapped his head to look at Erwin and found him holding up a small little figurine of a rooster. ''Oh fuck  you.''

''I'm funny.''

''No you're not.''

Erwin pouted, putting the rooster back in its place. ''I just want to know why this store has so many rooster statues, honestly.'' Levi looked around to find that his statement was true. 

''Who knows.''

They ended up leaving the mall and drove in silence before Erwin spoke again. ''Levi, would you go up to the mountains with me? Just to hike or something? Doesn't have to be a lot, just thought some cleaner air and a nice setting could do us both good.''

Levi's eyes turned to him before settling back on the road. ''I'm not doing anything today. Wanna go now?"

So they ended up going up to the mountains. The drive was long and not extremely scenic, but once they drove past the casino, they knew they were close. It was a small mountain town, mainly houses dotting random areas and a large mansion directly beside the road that lead in. They kept driving until Erwin suddenly pointed to the Robert's Frosty.

''Please please please please please please!"

''Fine...''

They sat outside on benches, sharing a soda as they waited for Erwin's burger and fries to be made, watching the cars go past. ''When was the last time you came up to the mountains?" the blond asked, stealing the soda from the smaller man.

That's right, Erwin didn't yet know of the conversation with Kenny. The long pause that Levi gave came across to Erwin that he was thinking, not trying to make up an excuse or an answer for the period of time. ''A while, really...''

He stole the soda back and took a sip, Erwin's name being called. He came back like an excited little kid and poured as much ketchup as possible onto the tray beside his fries before digging in. The blond practically melted when he bit into the burger, giving a happy hum and taking another large bite. Levi watched him, how happy he became when eating and how his eyes shined. His hair had yet to fully grow, but it was getting there. Of course his eyebrows were already full, those things grew faster than anything else. 

Levi was focused in on the blond before his eyes noticed the black cowboy hat further behind him. Dark eyes lifted and didn't change, knowing that Kenny was just there, smoking a cigarette. How he hadn't died yet was a mystery to Levi, but he also hadn't noticed either of them. The man was too involved with trying to get his lighter to light again to really care, but he kept his guard up.

Just another situation of overthinking. It was a spontaneous trip up to the mountains, they were supposed to have fun, maybe see the school that Erwin used to go to before the incident happened and he came down to the valley. Erwin pushed the tray of fries closer to Levi, pushing him on to take some and he scooped up a few. 

''Are you okay, Levi?"

He nodded, biting into one. ''Just wondering how you were doing.'' he lied. Erwin knew he was lying, but said nothing. They could read each other well in proper situations. When a car alarm started going off, Levi looked over his shoulder, oblivious to the fact that Erwin was looking over his own, making direct eye contact with the good old fashioned cowboy. 

The cowboy, apparently, did not recognize Erwin, simply flicked his cigarette away and stomped it out before walking off. But he did recognize Levi, that was certain. The blond slowly turned back, finding Levi doing the same as he finished off his burger. His stomach was aching after that and they headed inside the market to get some stomach pills. Erwin downed them quickly, knowing that he should have avoided the amonut of grease he had digested and they sat in the car and waited.

''Just follow this road here, it'll lead you to the school and we can drive past,''

Levi put the car into gear and followed the road, it going higher and higher, giving them a view of the retirement community down below. They followed the road before the trees diminished, revealing the school. Large field with blacktop and weak looking classrooms. Its school colors were evidently blue and white, its mascot a cougar. Levi drove past still, looking to the water tower with the cougar face on the front and Erwin began talking. 

''The first part is all for the younger grades, over here is for sixth to eighth,'' there was a road wrapped around a large tree. ''That's the bus drop off and pick up. I'd take the bus home each day and walk a few minutes up the road.''

''Did you sit in the front or the back of the bus?"

''It was all organized by grade level. Even if it weren't, the older kids would go in the back and the littles would sit in the front. I sat in the middle, little kids liked talking to me and the older ones could stand me more than the other ten year olds. I felt special.''

''Favorite student on the campus.''

''Of course! I had perfect attendance since kindergarten.''

''Oh jeez...''

''I even got a call from the principal after the court hearing. He just wanted to stay in touch with the family and I think my father regulary talks to him now, too.''

''Did your father teach here or another school?"

''No, he taught here. Worked until around five so I had three hours with my mom...'' Levi took his hand, rubbing his thumb against the knuckle. ''So I started doing after school things so I could be taken home by my father and avoid her... Just on the weekend he had a meeting to organize things and display new rules for the campus and she used that to her advantage. She just didn't know he would be coming home so early. I was still out on the driveway and he pulled up in the car, stopped beside me and scooped me up. She came out yelling obscenities and calmed once she saw him. Then he put me in the car, drove off to the urgent care down the road and had my wounds checked. I still couldn't believe how calm he was given the situation.''

Levi was following a road and didn't know where he was going until he noticed the rodeo grounds sign and pulled up there. The car bumped over the dirt road until they pulled up to an empty lot that was usually bustling. He could still see the people running through, cheering, laughing, the announcements as the rodeo went on, smell of horse shit...

Smelled like a mountain town. 

It was more fun to explore when no one else was there, so he got out and dragged Erwin on to follow him. There was still a stage set up, that was up all year round but unused until the rodeo, so were the bleachers. He dragged Erwin to the stage but the taller man simply stood in front of it as Levi paced it, looking at the paintings on the walls before slipping to backstage. Backstage was really only hollow and unpainted wooden bars, but this also gave them something to climb to reach the top. He peeked his head out and motioned for Erwin to follow, the blond reluctantly doing so. Erwin wanted to watch Levi climb.

So he let him. He pulled himself up and set his feet in different cubbies, climbing as high as he could and squeezing through the hole at the top, popping out and pushing himself up higher. Erwin followed, his smiling face peeking out the top as he wriggled through, needing help from the smaller man. They stood tall, wind blowing harshly as they looked out and beyond. 

Didn't smell the best, there was a horse ranch not far from there, as they could see, but it was still pretty. The sky was blue, the mountains were gold due to the grass and the heat, and trees dotted the area. They could see houses, one getting repainted as they stood, and Levi turned around to look at the rest of the field that was used as the rodeo grounds. 

It was odd to be there at a time when it was supposed to be closed. It didn't feel right; there were supposed to be three townfuls of people bustling and running through, one area for vehicles and trying to get school buses through. Dirt simply brushed through, some dead leaves following it, and left the other two in silence of the town. 

Erwin hopped down, landing on the stage and going towards the edge, obviously thinking of another time when he was younger and went to these with his father and his school. Levi followed, in a safer way, and was halfway across the stage before Erwin swooped up to him and took both of his hands in his own. 

''Doubt thou the stars are fire;

Doubt that the sun doth move;

Doubt truth to be a liar;

But never doubt I love.'' 

Levi grinned up at him as he leaned closer for a kiss. ''Alright, theatre boy.''

''Hamlet,'' Erwin said, smiling in return and still leaning for a kiss. ''I did that one in college.'' He finally gave in and pressed his lips to the taller male's, the blond humming softly and happily as he did so before he pulled his hands from Levi's. Instead, he wrapped them around his waist and picked Levi up, Levi's legs wrapping around the strong center of Erwin.

He draped his arms around the blond's shoulders and they pulled away, simply grinning at each other. The bright blue eyes gleamed and shined, smile as well while his hair began to do so. Erwin truly was a handsome man, and quite strong too that Levi noticed. The blond had picked him up with apparently no issue.

''Gaining muscle from construction?" Levi asked, still tightly wrapped around the other.

Erwin gave a proud nod. ''I'm not doing all that work for simply nothing.''

Levi rubbed circles in the back of the other's head, happy that Erwin could so easily pick him up like this. He was proud of him, truly, truly proud. The smaller male felt him shift his arms to under Levi so he could be held higher, and he took a look around.

''So this is what the world looks like from your height... Huh. Don't drop me, Erwin. I might die.'' they both looked down at the ground before their eyes met, the blond grinning. 

''I won't. Don't you trust me?"

''Of course I do... Jackass,'' he kissed Erwin's head, wrapping his arms tighter around his neck to hug him. ''Always have, always will. Nothing can change that.''

He was hugged in return before he slipped from Erwin's grasp, jogging over to the bleachers. Levi hopped up on them, hearing that Erwin was just behind, and continued jumping from one to the other. He climbed on the side of one and then pulled himself over the barrier, the two starting to play a game of follow the leader. It only stopped when the blond slipped, falling to the dirt below. Levi jumped down to the last stair and helped him back up, standing up with his leverage to brush him off and check if he had any wounds. 

The blond wrapped his arms around Levi's waist and pulled him closer, the dark haired male squashing Erwin's cheeks.

''Oi, too tight,'' he warned, the grip loosening. ''Give me some room to breathe. You don't know your own strength.''

They spent the rest of the day dallying in the town and searching backroads before eventually growing lost. The two sat contemplating things on a completely empty road that had no civilization for miles while the sun began to set. The GPS had no connection so Levi tossed that back in the glovebox with a huff, sitting back and crossing his arms.

''I guess we really should have watched where we were going,'' Erwin said, scratching his head. He was currently leaning into the window, having wanted to stand and stretch his legs. ''It's not like there's absolutely no chance of getting home, we'll just have to wait it out or keep driving until we find something.''

Dark eyes flicked up to Erwin in a glare and the blond moved around to the other side of the car, getting in. He leaned closer before pulling the handle on Levi's seat that sent him to lay back, the smaller man confused before Erwin leaned over him. ''No, not here,'' he said as the blond attempted to get a kiss.

''Why not?"

''Because who fucking knows what's going to come out here and kill us, especially up here. We're in the goddamn center of nowhere, and your dick is running your mind.''

Erwin pouted. ''But thats the thing. We're in the center of nowhere. Not like anyone's going to see us. And I know you. With the slightest hint of danger, you're up and ready. So even if anything would be prowling around the car, we'll know and get dressed.'' he walked his hand up Levi's side. ''Come on...''

''Ugh, fine,'' the blond thanked him by attacking his neck with kisses. ''But if we're caught by the police, I'm blaming you.''

He could feel him smiling against his neck as the sun grew lower and lower in the sky.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write sex scenes for shit, so here you go.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Erwin have an ordeal with the police, Levi learns how to make one of the blond's favorite dishes and later, fucks around with fireworks with his two best friends before having a talk with Farlan.

Erwin laid in the other laid down seat with his pants unbuckled and zipped down, his shirt lost in the backseat when it really started to get heated. He laid on his side while Levi still slept on his back, the sound of crickets echoing through the field of nowhere while his pants were loosely pulled up and his shirt barely on anymore. The sun was beginning to rise and he slowly opened his eyes, blinking up at the roof of the car. Since when was the sunrise flashing?

Levi's eyes widened and flicked to the rear view mirror, seeing a sherriff step from his car and shut the door. He smacked Erwin in the chest, adjusting his shirt and jeans. Erwin woke with a grumble. 

''Eh...?" he asked, Levi now reaching in the backseat to find his shirt. 

''Police. Get dressed.'' he ordered, tossing it to the blond. The blond sat up and pulled his shirt on, laying back to zip his pants up while Levi checked himself and the other for any stains that would give away what they were up to. Nothing to be found and he pulled his shirt down, sitting up just as the sherriff reached the car, shining a flashlight in through the window. 

''What are you two doing way out here?" he asked, smiling a bit. Levi glared past the light at the other man, setting his hand on the steering wheel.

''We got lost,'' he answered. ''Decided to stop and sleep until the sun came back up so we could find our way home.''

The sherriff nodded, peering around Levi at the taller man beside him. His brows raised from behind his sunglasses. ''Well I'll be damned. Is that a Smith I see?" Levi pulled his gaze from the sherriff to Erwin who was starting to sit up. 

He gave a respectful nod. ''Erwin Smith.''

''Glad to see you're still alive. Man, it's been so long! Officer Avery,'' he tipped his hat a bit too.

''Nice to see you again, too. Sorry for the disruption. We didn't really know where we were, so as Levi said, we were going to wait it out.''

''Ah, well I'll lead you back. Say hi to your father for me, Erwin.''

''Will do,'' he gave a pleased yet tired smile before the sherriff walked back to his cruiser to lead them back to main road so they could head home. Levi put the car in gear and reversed so he could follow, buckling his seatbelt. The smaller man followed the dirt trail of the cruiser before he spoke.

''Are you just known everywhere?"

Erwin chuckled, yawning afterwards and stretching. ''Familiar face. Familiar cut on the side of my head. The scar is my ID up here. You know the story of the Smith then you know what scar to look out for.''

Levi rubbed his eyes quickly, the rodeo grounds sign coming into view. ''Everyone knows about it? Is it a town story now?"

''Well... Yeah. My father was a trusted teacher, my mother was looked up to by the rest for her 'parenting skills', and I was straight A's and perfect attendance. We were the prime example of a well functioning family, but that was only on the outside. On the inside... You know the rest. But of course we're talked about, everything that has happened. My father and I were good people and the kind woman that lived at the end of the road with her young son and handsome husband turned out to be a monster. Stuff of legends, going to be warped into getting kids to eat their vegetables.''

The blond slumped over and squashed his face into Levi's shoulder. ''It's all in the past now, why can't they just let it go?"

''Because it was on national television. No one could believe she would do such a thing to such a boy for no reason. The actual reason why she abused me, I don't know. Neither does my father. People just hoped she had a mental illness of sorts so we wouldn't have to face the idea of her being concious while hurting me. Sometimes it feels better to know that they've utterly lost it instead of thinking such a beautiful person could commit such a crime. Its human nature. Word got spread around, it was in the paper, kids talked about it and parents had to promise their children they woul never do such a thing. Trust was lost around the time when I was walking around with bandages wrapped around my head, struggling to think that there were kids that were raised so differently. I was seen as a beacon of sadness, anyways, and was called a ghost. I can't blame anyone for what has happened. Just her.''

When Erwin spoke, it was more of him asking himself questions subtely and talking until he could answer to them. It was odd to listen to, but at least he was coping in a way that wouldn't get him killed, or leave scars upon his body. He had enough already, and his voice was soothing to listen to, especially when he first woke up.

''Shit happens, I guess,'' Levi said, giving a wave to the sherriff as he passed him, knowing his way from there. ''Can't take any actions back.''

''Unfortunately enough.'' Erwin answered quietly. He let out a sigh, nuzzling into Levi more and fell asleep against his arm, Levi driving home with the tall man against him. 

~*~

Erwin was back to building, doing it by himself and building the frame for the house as Levi was at Hange's place, about to head out to take something to his mother. He crossed his arms, waiting by the door impatiently.

''Let's go!" he said reaching for the door. ''Come on, it's been a half hour since you said you were ready for fuck's sake.''

Hange came skipping out. ''I'm sorry!'' they scooped up their keys and followed him out. ''Got distracted.''

''Yeah I can fucking see that much.'' he walked to his car, Moblit already waiting beside it with Nanaba sitting inside with the door open. ''We have places to drop people off at after taking my mother something.''

''About that,'' Nana said, looking up from her phone. ''What are we taking to her?" 

Levi slipped into the front seat with an exasperated sigh, starting the car. ''Specific chocolate she likes. But at this pace, they're all probably melted because of four-eyes.''

Hange stole the front seat, Moblit grumbling about it in the back. ''I was busy!" they said, fiddling with the buttons on his dashboard and he smacked their hand away. ''You take too good care of things to allow the chocolate to melt, anyways.''

He drove down the road in direction of his mother's. ''Still. When you say there is a specific time to go, you stick to it. And where were you, Moblit?" he looked in the rear view at the other male. ''You get them to get going all the time, why weren't you doing your job?"

''I was on strike.'' Moblit answered tiredly, chin in his hand as he stared out the window. Nana beside him smiled and looked to Hange. 

''Are you really getting to be that difficult that even Moblit can't do this anymore.''

''No-''

''Yes, yes they are.'' Moblit interrupted, Levi grinning from the front seat as he took a right turn. ''So I am on strike until further notice. If anyone else would like to try and keep Hange under control, be my guest.''

''Hange, you've ruined a perfectly good human being!" Nana teased, Hange now turning around and looking at the male sitting behind them.

''Moblit,'' they poked his knee. ''Hey, you still love me though, don't you?" they asked, poking his knee again and smiling. 

''Even though you're a disaster, yes, of course I love you.'' Hange smiled, patting his knee and turning back to face the windshield. ''Speaking of love, how are you and Mike doing, Nana?"

''We're fine. He just wants more dogs and I asked if kids would be better. Didn't think he'd take it as believing I was pregnant so that was a half hour talk the other morning. Poor man, never seen him get so excited yet so disappointed in less than a minute and a half. But it was hard to make him believe that I wasn't.''

''Mike would make an amazing father,'' Hange commented from the front, now digging through Levi's glovebox and taking out the GPS in question. ''He's so burly and scary sometimes, but kids would love him. He'd be like a jungle gym for them and the best to hug.''

''He is a pretty nice guy to hug. At a family dinner, he was holding his baby cousin and was just so careful with them. It was so adorable, seeing a guy like him turn into an absolute baby himself when holding one. The baby liked him too.''

Hange chucked the GPS back into the glovebox and shut it harshly. ''What about Erwin? What's keeping him out of the dating world?"

''Didn't he go to Nile and Marie's wedding the other day?" Moblit questioned. ''I mean that's a pretty good reason to stay out of the dating game, having to see your ex-fiance get married to your best friend since first grade.''

''Depressing, more like, but can't blame the man. I heard from some that he was still rather cheerful there and made good conversation.'' Nana answered. ''Maybe there's some secret person we don't know about that he has yet to inform anyone on. Wouldn't surprise me, even though he looks rather innocent, he's usually up to something or hiding some important detail.''

'Yeah, the secret person is me,' Levi thought, flicking the blinker on so he could get in the far right lane. He and Erwin weren't going to say anything, it would mainly be a waiting game. This waiting game they were also betting on. Levi said after three months, Erwin said before. Whoever was closest won and would have to do something for the other. They had both agreed on making the other whatever choice of meal they wanted, either to get back in spite, or to make something very nice.

''Levi would know,'' Hange said, looking to him. ''Wouldn't you.''

He simply shrugged. ''If I knew, I wouldn't say anything unless he wanted me to. And I don't, so, sorry to disappoint.''

Hange looked quite disappointed after he spoke before piping up. ''Ooh, maybe we could find someone for Erwin, set him up on a blind date!"

''We don't know his type, Hange,'' Nana interjected. ''And even if we take a look at his past ex's, he may be dewlling on them. Or we'll accidentaly set him up with a cougar, or something.''

''Didn't that actually happen to him once?" Moblit asked, turning his face from the window to the woman beside him.

''No no, that happened to Mike, not Erwin. But maybe it did and he never told us.'' Moblit smiled finally. ''And we also don't know if he even wants to get back on the dating scene. So it's best to let him find someone over time; sometimes you just have to let things smoothe over.''

Levi pulled up to the gate and put the code in that would dial his mother. It was rather fun to sit back and simply listen to them bicker. The gate opened while Hange tried to convince Nana to let them set up a dating profile for Erwin, Nanaba obvously taking over Moblit's place of keeping the other under control for the moment, and Levi drove in. He drove slowly, knowing of the speed limit, and pulled up in front of his mother's house, stepping out as the two began to raise their voices. 

Moblit stepped out as well and simply followed, Levi getting the imported chocolates out of a cooler in the trunk of his car that he had decked out to keep things cool. ''Where is it from?"

''France, specifically made. She went there once and said she missed the chocolates so I got her some. Not entirely legal, but she can't go to jail for food.'' The other man smiled while the two stepped out of the car and walked up to the door with Levi, the dog barking as he knocked.

''Erwin is a ladykiller!" Hange argued.

''I am way too exhausted to listen to you anymore today, no wonder Moblit is going on strike,'' Nana answered. ''And I thought dating Mike was exhausting.''

They began fighting like little kids and one glare from Levi made them stop, Moblit behind them snorting before steps came up to the door. The dark green door swung open and his mother stood in the center, no time inbetween when she began blabbering. 

''I got a call from Beatrice saying that you and Erwin are dating! Is this true? It must be, her daughter said that he told her specifcally at Nile and Marie's wedding! Oh, I'm so happy!'' she clasped her hands together but then took notice of the other's behind him and his wide eyes. ''Oh dear...'' her voice was then void of emotion and Levi took a very very slow look to the others behind him. 

Nanaba's mouth was wide open, eyes as well and arms loose at her sides. Moblit began to clap slowly, still stunned from the onslaught from the Ackermom while Hange stood smiling, it then turning into a large grin and they wrapped their arm around his shoulder. 

''Miss Ackerman, it is fantastic to see you!"

~*~

Levi had to make Erwin dinner, now. He didn't want to, he regretted ever making the bet with the other man but he truly hadn't been expecting his mother to be informing everyone in such a short amount of time. They were on her couch, Moblit on the chair with the little dog on his lap, having fallen asleep while Hange continued grinning.

He took a very long and awkward sip of his water before Nanaba spoke.

''When were you going to tell us?" she asked, hands folded over her knee. 

Levi set the glass back on its coaster, his mother using the restroom. ''Honestly, Erwin and I were just going to wait until one of you caught on. We even made a bet on it, but now I owe him dinner, so...''

''When did you guys start dating?" Hange asked excitedly. 

They hadn't really had a date. Really it was just a gradual thing. The kiss counted, but there was a bit of a bumpy road following that until the wedding where they went back to his place and kept the neighbors up for a full night. ''I think on Independence day. None of you noticed us kissing behind you.'' The pride surged through him. 

''Mother fucker...'' Nana said quietly, Levi then taking his turn to grin. ''Slick mother fuckers, too, I'm amazed. I thought Mike had lost his mind when he said that he was suspicious of you two sitting in the far back. I guess I should trust his gut feeling.''

''You should trust him anyways,'' Hange said, Moblit petting the dog. 

"That's really sweet,'' Moblit said. ''You two being together. Not saying I'm really surprised, honestly we should have all seen it coming. But you two are built upon a strong friendship, being in a relationship I think is the best for both of you.''

''Thanks,'' Levi answered, the other man then rolling the dog onto its back and petting its stomach. It snored loudly but Moblit continued.

''As long as we're invited to the wedding.''

"That's a bit fast,'' Levi said, the other two smiling before his mother came back into the room. She sat down and smiled at Moblit with her dog in his lap.

''When were you going to tell me, Levi?"

He hadn't even thought of that, and she knew. The mood changed drastically and he felt like a little kid getting scolded. ''Uh, soon, don't worry, soon.''

If Erwin wasn't going to tell his father, he wasn't going to tell his mother. He really didn't know when would have been the best time anyways. His mother simply waved it off and opened a chocolate bar, offering some to everyone in her way before finally eating it. The look on her face was worth the cost and Levi sat back, proud of himself. No doubt Nana would go home and inform Mike of the newfound information, and then Erwin would have to face informing his father. 

That next day, Levi was invited over to the Smith household for a German dinner with the two men, but it was just Levi and papa Smith. 

''Erwin's still out working, so I'm not going to bother him,'' papa Smith said. ''Hopefully he'll be here soon.''

Levi set his phone on the counter and moved around to see what the other man was making. ''What is that?" he asked, looking at the ingredients. 

''Stuffed pork chops,'' the other answered, moving past Levi to get to the meat. ''You seem so interested whenever I cook something so I thought I'd teach you.''

Very kind of him. Levi began washing his hands and dried them on the hand towel before standing at attention to make th best stuffed pork chops that he could. ''I'm ready, what do you want me to do?" he asked.

''Well,'' papa Smith pointed to the ingredients. ''Begin cutting this up. This will all be used for the stuffing. Cheese is lactose free so we don't have to worry about his stomach. Hopefully nothing else here will upset it and we can have a calm dinner.'' 

Levi began cutting and crumbling things into a bowl, mixing it all together as papa Smith turned the stove on and prepared the pork chops. The house soon began to heat up since they turned the oven on and the older man showed the younger step  by step on how to make them. First, he cut the pork chops partially in half after seasoning them, then let Levi get a scoopful of the mix to push inside. He did so carefully, deep concentration on his face before he dipped them in egg and bread crumbs.

He then set his in the pan carefully, watching it like a child before flipping it over. One side was a little overcooked, given the fact it was partially burned, but it still smelled amazing. He kept taking deep breaths just to get lungfuls of the air, moving his food to a plate alongside greens and something else he couldn't pronounce the name of. 

Papa Smith worked with ease on the other one, doing it with precision that showed he had done this one meal thousands of times in his lifetime. He set it in the pan and Levi began cutting more things for the third batch. Levi decided on making Erwin's, wanting to impress him as best to his ability so he took more care into this one, far more concentrated when putting it in the pan. It was nearly a perfect golden color when he set it on its plate, though a tad darker than the experienced man's food. He was still proud of himself as he scooped greens onto the plate and helped the other man set the table. 

Erwin and Levi's plates were organized on one side while the older man had his own on the other, the two conviently going to be pressed up against the wall with no way out. He wondered where this was going, but was distracted once the door opened. Papa Smith had seen their closeness on the day of Nile and Marie's wedding, but had left before anything else had occured. Wouldn't be surprised if this was about them being together. 

A surprised Erwin walked through the house with sweat covering him, nose flaring as he smelled the food. 

''Go take a shower,'' Levi ordered, Erwin checking the perimeter before kissing Levi softly and jogging upstairs to do as told. He showered quickly, coming back down in clean clothes and sat at the table beside Levi, taking a sip of the water he had been handed before the other two seated themselves. 

Dinner was quiet, but not awkward. Not entirely bad, just showed each man was enjoying the food. Levi felt a hand drifting on his thigh, sitting there calmly and he shifted a bit closer, pressing his leg against the blond's. He lifted his eyes to find the older man watching them in silence, having that intensity that Erwin got occasionally when thinking about something. Almost instantly they shifted away from each other, continuing on with their meals like nothing happened.

''Your mother called me, Levi,'' uh oh. ''Erwin, you should have told me you two were together.''

Erwin paused his meal, still mid-chew before swallowing his portion. ''Well... I guessed it was obvious already...''

''I did know. But its better to hear out of your mouth,'' the older man wiped his mouth with his napkin and set it on his empty plate. ''But I am very happy for you both. Levi, thank you for coming to dinner this evening and helping me. Hopefully what I taught you will be of use in the near future.''

Of fucking course. He was invited over and taught how to make a German dish because papa Smith already knew they were dating and it was expected for the obvious housewife how to cook. Good thing Levi already knew how to clean. Levi lifted his eyes to Erwin and found him smiling down at his food. ''Does that mean Levi made this?"

Papa Smith nodded. ''Quite well for his first time, too.''

Erwin looked to him. ''Its perfect.''

He turned his eyes back to his own plate and found that at the beginning of dinner, Erwin had switched their plates around so the blond got the partially burned one and the smaller man got the one that survived better. Fucker... He gave himself the burned one just so Erwin could enjoy dinner after a hard day's work, not to have to choke on overcooked pork. 

Not perfect, he knew that, but there was no change in the blond's face when he ate his food. Apparently he liked burned things.

~*~

Isabel brought some leftover fireworks from L.A. with her and wanted to take Levi along to fuck around with them. He wasn't doing anything of importance, so he went with, Farlan agreeing to meet them at wherever this location was. It was an empty field in what they thought was the dead center of nowhere, but it was near Erwin's building site. 

She was struggling to get her lighter to light so Farlan tried helping, Levi simply standing back, confident that they knew what they were doing. He looked over his shoulder, checking to see if there were homes nearby with people that would call the cops on them. But he didn't really care, Isable drove several hours to come do this and Farlan drove a day and a half. 

They both whooped and stood, Farlan throwing a stick to Levi and he caught it casually before picking up another lighter that they had taken with them, lighting it with ease. Then began the battle, shooting fireworks at each other. There wasn't any real reason, just because they fucking could. He aimed his at Isabel with a grin, the girl squealing and trying to dodge it as she went for Farlan, Farlan aiming for her as well. She got a few on Levi, one on the other man before she tripped over her own feet and dropped her firework. 

Levi pulled her up, the woman smiling and laughing before Farlan lit more, sprinting away and Isabel dragged Levi off from the explosion. They were close enough that it should have blown their eardrums out, but didn't, the colors exploding in the air not directly above them. They both stopped and stared, Isabel grinning wildly before she ran with Farlan to light more. 

The two ran back to Levi, sandwiching him between their bodies as they waited for it to go. ''Erwin and I have started dating.'' he said, breaking the news. 

Both stared at him and the fireworks then exploded, muting them from whatever they were saying to him. He simply watched the fireworks and ignored their expressions, knowing that they were probably screaming things at him. When it finally died down, Farlan turned Levi to look at him, his hand securely on his shoulder. ''Are you serious?" blue eyes searched his own.

He gave a nod, shoving his hands in his pockets. ''Yeah. Kind of just happened... Rest of the group found out so I thought you two deserved to know. You've both been there for a while, longer than I've known Erwin, so it was right.''

Isabel wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. ''I always fucking knew it!" she announced, Farlan walking away to light more. ''I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Always seemed to be unresolved sexual tension between you both.''

Levi teasingly pushed her off, taking a step away with a grin. ''Yeah, you wish.''

She smiled, draping her arm over his shoulder and using him as a wall to lean against. ''Remember how you tried to teach him to ride a skateboard? Poor man, guess it was best to leave him to continue playing baseball and riding a bike like the rest of the fucks that live here.''

Farlan lit more and they shot into the air, blowing up above their heads. ''Is Farlan alright?" he shouted to her over the noise.

''Well I don't think he's ever entirely trusted Erwin, if you ask me. I like the man, but he's always had his doubts about him. You should talk to him later, after the fireworks.'' she pushed off and sifted through her bag of fireworks, Farlan simply looking to her. 

They lit a few more but ran when they noticed flashing lights in the distance. Back at his apartment, Isabel slept in the guest bedroom while the other sat in silence out in the living room, drinking whiskey that Farlan had bought for him a year or two ago.

''How long have you and Erwin been together?" Farlan asked quietly, watching Levi with dark eyes. 

Levi sipped his drink, setting his glass on his lap. "A week or two... Not long.''

Farlan gave a distant nod, swirling the liquid within the glass. ''How'd that happen? Did you finally confess your undying love for him?"

''I'm not a mushy shit like that, you know this... No, just gradually happened. Just suddenly something snapped in us both and we kissed,'' he shrugged his shoulders, watching Farlan while Farlan watched his drink. ''Casual. Easy. No bullshitting, it just happened.''

Another distant nod before he lifted his glass to his lips. ''I'm happy for you,'' he said, voice echoing through the glass as his eyes lifted to the window ahead of him. ''Long time coming, I guess.'' Farlan took a quick drink. 

''You don't like the idea of he and I dating, do you?" he asked, rubbing his thumb against the rim. 

A long sigh left the other man and Farlan let his head fall back momentarily. ''No, I don't... I know he's your best friend and all but... He's put you through so much shit that you shouldn't have to suffer through. And he's the definition of what our worst enemies were growing up,'' Farlan lifted his head and looked at him. ''Atheltic, rich, healthy fucks that dick off of their parents success with no mind for the others around them. I don't trust him because he's dragged you through things I'd never want you to have to cope with.''

Levi's eyes narrowed momentarily. ''I don't think you understand him, Farlan. He's not like that. He's a jock with straight A's from the shitholes called school, but not like that. Farlan, he didn't dick off of anything. Erwin fought for what he has, he's had to go through tough times and he pushed me away so many times to make sure that I didn't have to suffer with him. But I kept butting in, I wanted to help. Whether he drags me through hell or heaven, I'm going to stand by his side. Because he showed me that not everyone is what you think they are. Erwin had the looks and the personality of the assholes we hated on the outside, but on the inside he's our best fucking friends.''

Farlan was watching him, subtely surprised by what the other had said before he took another sip of his drink, leaving his friend in a dull and suspenseful silence. 

''I made myself go through hell because I didn't want to lose him. I've been hurt by the situation's he's been stuck in because I decided to stay. Me, my fucking choices. Erwin has never wanted me to hurt, never tried to pull attention to himself or drag people along for a hellride. Because he's never wanted to be seen as that sort of asshole.'' Levi finished, taking a strong gulp of his drink before setting his glass aside roughly on the tabletop.

''I'm sorry...'' Farlan answered, looking to him. ''I viewed him wrong because I haven't given the time to really talk to him or be friends with him. Just assumed... I am truly happy for you both, really, I'm happy Erwin doesn't have cancerous tumors any longer, I'm happy you're not masturbating alone at home anymore-''

''Okay-''

Farlan grinned. ''Good for the two of you. You two deserve the best and if that means each other, then I'm happy. I can't think of anyone better for Erwin than you.''

''But you can think of people that are better for me, can't you?"

The other's grin widened. ''Well, you may be big bro, but I'm still your brother too. No, I can't. Not right now but I'll make a list for you and get it delivered later, how about that?"

Levi snorted, crossing his arms with a grin. ''Fuck you.'' 

~*~


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has to make Erwin dinner now and is slowly told the plan unfolding in the blond's mind. To calm himself about what he sees as stupid plan, he goes out for drinks with Mike and plays a game of pool. Whoever loses has to answer a personal question from the other.

''Since we were found out in under three months, you owe me dinner,'' Erwin said, placing his hands on his hips and puffing his chest out as much as possible with a cute smile. They had met at Levi's apartment after the blond finished up his schedule for the day and sorted some other things out that he wasn't going to inform the smaller male about.

A 'tch' left Levi and he turned to face him, leaning against the kitchen counter. ''Fine. Do I get creative freedom or are you going to choose what I have to make for you against my will?" he asked, setting his other hand on his hip in a sass competition with Erwin. 

''Hm,'' the blond pursed his lips, thinking for a moment as his eyes skittered to the microwave and then back to Levi. 

''And I thought when I went over to your father's home and cooked dinner that it would count.''

Erwin raised a finger, grin back on his face. ''Ah! Well not everyone found out and he taught you. You have to do it by yourself with no help from other people in the kitchen. Recipes, googling things, those count. But not from another living person. Though I can critique things...''

Levi narrowed his eyes at the other man. ''Seriously? I put effort into that and let you have the unburned one before you took it away from me.''

''I wanted you to have a nice dinner. Anyways, this is more fun! You cooking is cute!"

He shook his head, turning away with a grin and flushed face to search the fridge for food and ingredients. ''So what is it?" he asked, rummaging through shelves. ''Do you trust me to make you something nice or are you choosing for me?"

The blond dropped his arms and leaned against the counter. ''Would meeting in the middle work?" he asked.

Levi raised his head from the fridge and looked to him. ''How would we meet in the middle? I cook half of what you want and then choose the rest...?"

''I hadn't thought that far... And you don't have a lot to work with from here, do you?"

He looked back in the refrigerator, frowning softly. ''Not entirely, no,'' he pulled out a package of deli meat and some cheese before tossing them both back in. ''At this point, all I can make you is a grilled cheese with some stale potato chips. I've been needing to go grocery shopping anyways.''

The disappointment on Erwin's face caused a guilty feeling to drum through Levi before the blond crouched beside him and looked through as well. ''How about we meet in the middle and make each other food?" he asked, looking to Levi.

The smaller man leaned into him, giving a nod and opening the bottom shelf in the fridge. ''Yeah, I like that more than having to make you food, anyways.'' 

Erwin smiled and aided with getting their ingredients out, the blond going for making Levi an omelette in one pan while Levi made a grilled cheese, as promised. He waited for his pan to heat up while Erwin cracked eggs into the other, the smaller man spreading mustard on the bread and grating cheese over it. The blond waited by wrapping his arms around the other man and pushing his face into his hair, kissing his head repeatedly or occasionally his neck. Levi smiled softly, setting a piece of turkey in the middle and placing the other piece of bread ontop as the blond continued. 

''The egg is going to burn,'' he said casually, Erwin perking up and pulling away to steal cheese from him and make the omelette. Levi watched him turn the heating down a bit and close the omelette before looking back to Levi. 

''No it won't. I saved it.''

''Because I noticed my dinner was burning due to the chef being distracted.''

''Well the chef found something quite nice to look at,'' he said, raising his chin and looking at the grilled cheese. ''The sandwich is going to burn.''

Dark blue eyes flicked to the food and he frowned before flipping it over, finding it was fine. ''Don't scare me like that, slug,'' he said, the blond kissing his head. Plates were brought down and the food was served, Erwin deciding he had to decorate it with cilantro before setting it on the dining table. Levi found some pretzels and dumped a few on the plate before sitting down with Erwin, setting his napkin in his lap.

''So what'd you do today?" Erwin asked, taking a bite of his dinner.

Levi shrugged, cutting his omelette in half before cutting off a bite and scooping it onto his fork. ''Not much, really. Isabel and Farlan headed back home the other day, I got a call from her telling me she was looking for a house closer to here. I told her it'd be a hellish decision,'' he lifted his food up to his mouth. ''I haven't gotten a call from work. It's rare when I do because they've trained so many others for this position and only I have credentials but I don't need to show them.'' 

Erwin nodded, chewing his food. ''There's enough homes being built here, as long as she has the money, she can move here. I still know where all the positions for the homes are and how much they'll cost altogether so if she needs help, tell her to call me,''

''Oh that's right,'' he swallowed. ''You're still logged into the company's files, aren't you? Isn't that shit illegal anyways?"

''Oh yeah, definitely. But there's no way they'll find out. I don't have to give anything back. And on that note, since I know the income of these companies and have these 'undercover' ways, I could easily start my own and perhaps get a few dollars from it...''

Levi's actions stopped and he was met with an intense look from Erwin. ''What the fuck are you up to, Erwin? What stupid bullshit are you thinking of now?"

''Since I incidentally became the backbone of that singular company, knew how to transfer cash, how to give royalties and bonuses to those that needed them and gave paid time off to those that worked beneath us, I could do the same but instead, I won't be sitting in the intern's chair. I could run everything, and not for a corrupt reason.''

''You're telling me you want to start your own goddamn bank?"

The blond nodded. ''Exactly. Or, you know, I could easily just take over the one I worked under. There are enough lawsuits against them, as I can tell by the files I see, so just one more and they'll be fucked,'' Erwin took a bite of his sandwich, smiling around it. 

''And you're planning on doing what from here on?"

''I had enough issues with that company that I could give ten lawsuits, get money, and go on my way while they're untouched. But since they might also be in financial debt since they give their money to the wrong people and have a gambler for a boss, I could save them. Turn things around and hopefully hire the right people.''

''Is this a vengence story?"

''Levi,'' he folded his hands, setting his chin on his fingers. ''I was told that I would receive paid leave for anything that would happen to me and since I knew I would do something to fuck up, I accepted the job position just to be met with failure. But because of my father's wise ways and donations from the military, I had good sums of money waiting for me and I've directed those sums of money directly to the construction of my home. If it weren't for you and my father's intellect, I would not be currently sitting here talking so calmly about this entire situation because I would not have the money to support myself if this went wrong.''

A thin brow raised. ''What are you planning?"

Erwin sat back, raising his hands. ''Nothing. I'm an innocent man. I just thought I'd walk in there and have a calm chat with the gambler and see where it takes me. And if I'm right, I think large sums of cash will begin coming my way much, much faster.''

Slow blinks were all that came from Levi as his mouth hung open slightly and his hands were paused from cutting the omelette. ''Are you...'' he made a hesitant sound. ''Are you going to bluff him into handing you the company?"

The blond simply grinned in return.

~*~

''Erwin is such a suspicious fuck,'' Levi said, taking a swig of the drink that Mike had offered him when he arrived to the bar. ''He's up to something... Something big and I know it could get him arrested but he's up to it anyways.''

Mike's brows furrowed and he leaned forth against the table. ''What kind of something?" he asked, sipping his beer. 

Levi sat back with a huff, crossing his arms. ''Something about talking with the CEO of the company that he left. Gaining money from it and a job. I think he's planning on talking the guy into giving him the entire goddamn company.''

The other's brows raised and he nodded. ''Well I think if anyone can get away with it, Erwin would. He's a smart man, had some issues, but he does know what he's doing. Even if it means talking his way into a multi-million dollar company.''

''That's the thing, he said that it's going bankrupt so he wants to talk his way into ownership since he's so confident he knows what he's doing. He thinks he can build it back up, make a better income and sort cash out for everyone. Erwin wants to make it better, be the best boss.''

''I promise, people would probably like him more as their boss. Especially if he was working on the main floor and struggling up to be CEO. They won't have to know he quit halfway through due to legal issues and then talked his way back into being the big boss. He's kind, he knows what they would be going through, and he's smart with his money.''

He was reluctant to listen, mainly concerned with where Erwin was going to end up after this. This was a stupid idea, and he would still have the chance at a teaching position at one of the many schools that were turning up around the city. That or a baseball coach. Still the teacher's weren't paid very well, but Levi hoped he would go for one of the more simple jobs instead of this entire fiasco. 

''He was talking about teaching positions at the middle school or something...''

''I don't think he really wants to follow in his father's footsteps, though. This new thing, he'll be paid more for it and he'll know how to help the city, hopefully giving good income to those that need it and will understand what to do with this money. I work for one of the construction companies that are in connection with the financial business. They give everything to this one company and are currently getting screwed over because of it due to the bankruptcy. Erwin will be a godsend.''

''If he can get through this. He's got a house to build and is still healing from the tumors.''

''Levi, I know you love and care for him, you also understand how strong he is. But stop doubting him, for this once. You've had reasons to in the past, but don't doubt his intellect, not today. Erwin knows how to get into this company, he knows how to talk, that's his specialty.''

''I'm not doubting him just... Worrying. That's my specialty.'' he said, sipping his drink again. 

Mike smiled, setting his beer down on the table. ''Yeah, I know. You both worry so much about things, mainly each other. I'm surprised you two didn't get together sooner. Even though you both look so goddamn different, its amazing how similar you are in ways.''

''I've been getting that a lot.''

The smile simply widened and Mike set his hand on his buff arm. ''I hope so. You never noticed how he looked at you for so long, I thought you had gone blind. Always bragging about how you could read him, but you never noticed.''

Levi raised his eyes to him. ''I never bragged...''

''Only occasionally. But not a lot to the point where I couldn't stand you. In all honesty, I'm surprised you didn't boast more. Erwin's a hard man to read at times and its frustrating.''

''He looks like he should be, huh?"

''Definitely,'' Mike said with a nod. ''Should be easy to read but its like talking to a brick wall sometimes, trying to read a blank canvas.''

''Poetic,'' Levi said, drinking after. ''But yeah.''

Mike brushed some crumbs off the table. ''Trust in him. Please? Erwin's giving it his all right now.''

''Yeah yeah, stop nagging and I will.''

The other smiled again. ''I'm happy for you two, honestly. Don't fuck him over, though, or I'll be coming after you personally.''

''I'm not gonna fuck him over, Mike. I'm the one person that I know won't do that.''

Mike's order of food had arrived, fries dumped with unhealthy seasonings and sauce. ''Still a good enough warning, though. Erwin's done a lot for each of us, and I know you won't, but its best to be careful. Especially since he's known you so long and you've both been there fore each other.''

He scooped the fries up with a fork since it was such a mess and bit in. ''I'm not that much of an asshole. If you trusted me, you wouldn't be bringing this up.''

''Don't get so defensive, I was just saying. Gotta be careful with him sometimes, and you know that. I'm not trying to get in the way of you and Erwin, alright? I'm careful around him too and I want the best for him, as much as you do.''

Levi stole a fry from the other. ''Right...'' he bit in. ''Whatever.''

''Look, shit happens. You two are good for each other and its a long time coming. Erwin's doing his best and believes in himself, you're worrying about him, which is normal. Don't get pissy, for once, alright?" Mike asked, staring at him until Levi made eye contact.

''...alright.''

''Good,'' Mike stabbed his fork into the fries again. ''Glad we can come to an agreement.''

He swiped another few fries and ate them with a huff, watching the people at the bar with low eyes and a quite glare. Levi was worrying too much again, he knew that. Erwin was smart, he knew what he was doing. A sense of fear still radiated through him and he needed to let go. Mike was right, he knew what the company like as well, he worked under them and knew there were pay cuts. Erwin was doing the right thing, he was smart... He needed to calm down. 

Mike scooped some more fries onto his fork and chewed before stuffing the rest in his face. He chewed and wiped his mouth, washing it down with his beer. 

''How about a game of pool?" he asked. ''Whoever loses has to answer another's question.''

''We can't simply have a normal conversation?"

''I don't think you'd willingly answer what I have to ask you.'' he finished off his beer. ''Come on, some fun.''

Levi thought about it before giving in. ''Fine, one game.'' The other stood and lead the smaller male to the pool tables, tossing a stick to the other. He organized the balls in the center and Levi watched him before speaking again. ''What are you planning on asking me, Mike?"

Mike shrugged. ''Nothin' much,'' he lied, looking up to Levi with dark green eyes. ''Just some crap that doesn't matter but I'm interested in.''

''Does that translate to? 'Shit I'm sticking my big nose in but shouldn't?' ''

The taller man grinned, polishing the end of his own stick. ''Stripes or no?"

One corner of Levi's lips lifted. ''Yeah, I'll take stripes. Ladies first.''

''Well I should let you go first then, shouldn't I?'

The smaller male bent over and put himself into position. ''Fucker,'' he said, taking his turn. Mike walked around the side of the table as the balls went into place, one of Levi's slipping into the pockets. ''You didn't answer my question.''

Terrible country music played in the background, the sound of glasses clinking together in the background and conversations buzzing. The bar looked old western, neon lights reflecting through the windows.''Was it important?" Mike asked, taking his turn as well. Both men circled the table again, eyes following the balls. 

''I thought my joke was pretty funny.''

''Hey, I know I got a big nose, don't rub it in.''

''Will rubbing irritate your nose?" he asked, going again. Mike chuckled, dropping his head and shaking it. Levi smiled with pride, Mike positioning himself differently. 

''Fuck off, Levi.''

He brought his beer over to the table and set it on the corner after taking a drink. ''How are you and Nanaba doing?"

''Well I thought she was pregnant but that wasn't the case,'' Mike answered, leaning against his stick. ''Turned out it was just misconstruded. She thinks another dog will be too much but who doesn't love more dogs?"

''Would you have kids with her?" he asked, taking his shot. 

''Oh of course,'' Mike answered, sipping his own beer. ''I said I'd be by her side no matter what, and if that meant children, then of course. We'd have to make adjustments to the house, to the yard, redo a room or two and make sure the dogs would be alright with getting less attention.''

Levi stood straight and polished off his own stick. ''Dogs are great with children depending on how they've been trained.''

Mike stood straight again. ''What about you? Did you ever plan on having any of your own or were you planning on adopting?"

''I think I would have, maybe. Depending on who my partner is.''

''What about with Erwin?"

He glanced up momentarily before looking back down at the table. ''Yeah, I think so. Erwin's talked about kids before, but I don't think I'd damn a poor kid to my height. My father did and my mother was never very tall either.''

''So no surrogate?"

''Nah,'' he answered, shaking his head. ''Maybe they'd have some hope from Erwin, strong tall German genetics, but something in my genetics would fuck them over anyways. I think we're both afraid of our kids growing to be a little too much... Like us.''

Mike took a quick swig of his drink before setting the bottle back on the table. ''I think that's a natural fear for every person thinking of being a parent. I do, Nana has said the same as well. Hange I don't know about, I think they and Moblit are still planning marriage.''

''Do you think they'd have a shotgun wedding or would they have a nice ceremony?"

''No, they'd have a nice ceremony. I think Moblit wants something calm though.''

''How about the thing with you and Nanaba, are you still planning on proposing in some extravagant way or are you making a different plan.''

''Now I never said extravagant. But I was thinking romantic. Or something involving the dogs where they can bring notes to her and make a little path leading to me.'' Levi looked up with his brows furrowed, Mike raising his own brow. "What?"

''The hell is with you and dogs? Why can't you do something normal? I know that woman is exhausted with the dogs already.''

Mike smiled. ''I thought it would be cute!"

''Eh,'' Levi shrugged. ''I think we have varying ideas on what cute is anyways. And different ideas on what romantic is.''

''We also approach our significant others differently as well, so... We're different people, Levi. But I thought the dog thing was a bit much so I'm going to settle with a romantic date by the sea and a stay at a boat for the night. I thought that would be nice.''

''See, that sounds nicer. What are you going to do with the dogs though?"

''Hange likes practicing so they take care of them while we're gone on trips. But its moreso Moblit takes care of them and Hange cooes over.''

Levi took another shot, the eight ball rolling dangerously close to one of the pockets. ''Suits them both. I can only imagine what their kid would be like.''

''I wonder what a mix of you and Erwin would be like,'' Mike answered, grinning and handing Levi his beer. ''The kid would get Erwin's eyebrows and your personality and would be the angriest kid on the playground. He'd pay other kids to bring him snacks behind the snack bar and would do deals behind the bathrooms. Your black hair, Erwin's really bright eyes and his height. God, he'd look like the embodiment of Satan.''

He laughed softly at that, leaning against the table. ''You and Nana, what would that be like?"

Mike took a different stance and thought. ''Hopefully they'd get the best of both worlds. Height, you can only pray since she is barely taller than you-''

''Oi!"

The taller male ignored him. ''Hange and Moblit's kid would be a kind little kid and would be rather gentle with everything. But still would have those perks of Hange, I'd think they'd be more like Moblit half the time.''

''Petra and Oluo?"

''Sheesh, I don't know.''

Levi finished off the game, but lost anyways. Mike fist pumped the air and sipped his beer after, setting his stick aside and Levi sighed. ''Guess you won fair and square there, didn't you?" he helped organize the pool table for the next bunch that wanted to play.''

''That I did,'' Mike said, tossing his empty beer bottle away. ''I'll pay for another round, how about that? In return that you do promise to answer my questions.''

He sighed and looked up at him past his forehead. ''Fine.''

Mike did as promised and bought him another beer, sitting back in their booth from before. He took a long sip, trying to take as long amount of time to build suspense for the other. Levi simply watched, waiting with his own drink in his hand as Mike took long sips. He set his beer down on the table and wiped his mustache and beard. 

''Do you love Erwin?"

Levi stared at the other male with his brows drawn together and a rather deadpan expression on his face. ''You made me play a game of pool with you so you could ask me that question?" he asked, one brow raising in a slow and very judgemental way. ''What do you take me for?"

The taller male put his hands up, holding his new bottle in his hand. ''Look, you're not the best to approach about emotions.'' he answered, lowering his hands again. ''I thought I'd try and make it at least some fun before I asked you.''

The smaller man shook his head, slouching in his seat. ''Do I love him? Yeah I-'' he paused, eyes flicking to different things on the table. ''Of course I do... I haven't said it out loud, I don't know how fast or slow things are supposed to be in this kind of relationship. I think we both assumed. To say I love him directly, I don't know. I guess I sort of assumed he'd say it first and file in after him.''

''You were gonna let him lead the emotions?"

''Well shit, Mike. You said it yourself. It's difficult to approach me about emotions. I don't know how to approach myself about them as much as you but it doesn't mean I don't know how to fucking feel. I was gonna let him lead because he seems so much better with them than I and I guess... It would be nicer to hear those words out of him mouth as well.''

''But you do love him. A lot. Care for him, would swear to be by his side?"

''Of fucking course,'' he said, looking back up to Mike with an offended look. ''Since I met him there isn't a single day where I've doubted following him or being his friend. Being in a relationship like this makes no difference. I promised him I'd be by his side forever, I pledged allegiance to him. Love is fucking weird but yeah, I love him. I always have, maybe not in a romantic way but... Of course I do. You don't even need to question that, or make me play a game of pool with you.''

Mike smiled softly in return. ''Good. Erwin probably loves you too.'' he checked his phone. ''Ah, my curfew is up and my girl needs me.''

Levi stood with him, cleaning up their area before walking outside to Mike's truck. ''You're not too intoxicated to drive?"

''Are you?" the other asked, looking to him.

''I don't have a breathalyzer. So I wouldn't really know until the cops pull me over and make me do a test.''

The shaggy man grinned. ''Makes sense. Don't think I meant anything by making you play a game of pool. If I'm honest, I'm not much better with this anyways-'' his phone chimed and he sighed. ''Gotta get home, apparently. Take care of yourself, and my best friend.''

''Yeah, will do. Don't fuck up with Nana either.''

Mike laughed, climbing into his truck. Levi walked to his own car that was closer by the exit and watched the truck drive past, the other man waving as he did so and he waved back. Of course he loved Erwin, and he would never doubt it a day in his life. 

~*~


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin's up to something and Hange needs someone to go to a memorial with.

Well, maybe now he was doubting it.

Erwin was standing in front of the door wearing a casual looking suit, his tie loosened and first button unbuttoned while he stuffed his hands into his back pockets. His head was low as he waited for the other to answer the door, glancing around at the neighbors and the car park with the road beside it. Levi rolled back on the balls of his feet and unlatched it, swinging it open.

''What the fuck did you do?" he asked immediately, giving Erwin no time to smile or say hello. The blond stared at him and slowly developed a kind and warm grin before setting his hand on Levi's arm, kissing his head softly. 

''Whoever said I was doing anything?" he asked in return, stepping in as he invited himself but slipped off his shoes accordingly beside the door. Erwin continued to peel his jacket off and drape it over the back of the couch. ''Do you mind if I get a glass of water?" the blond simply walked into the kitchen without any further words from Levi.

''Whoever said- You did, fucker.'' he answered, shutting the door and locking it as he followed Erwin through his apartment. ''And yeah, sure, get a glass of water. Can't be dehydrated, its hot...'' he trailed off, crossing his arms and standing in front of the couch. 

''I did, didn't I?" Erwin asked, taking his merry goddamn time to get ice and his glass. He began drinking, slowly, throat bobbing before his head was fully back and showed the entirety of his neck. A neck shouldn't be sexy. Its a neck, for fucks sake. The blond set the glass aside and rubbed his scar, swallowing thickly. ''Thanks, babe.''

''Don't call me babe,'' Levi ordered, Erwin simply brushing past. He sat on the couch and looked up at the smaller male, eyes gleaming. Pride, obviously. He had done something to make himself proud, and Levi didn't know if he wanted to truly be informed on what that something was. ''What were you up to? What are you so goddamn proud about?"

''Aw, Levi, you're so harsh,'' Erwin whined, taking his hand softly and smiling up at him. ''Nothing bad, I promise you that. This morning I woke up and had a bowl of oatmeal with a glass of orange juice and then went for a jog. Afterwards I went and continued building a bit, can't waste any time on that, now can I-?"

''I didn't mean your entire goddamn day. Whatever part truly made you start smiling like this.'' 

''Well my entire day was pretty joyful,'' Erwin said. 

''Fine, then the best part,'' he said, Erwin's fingers trailing around his wrist and up his bare forearm before his smile grew brighter. 

''I think this is the best part.''

''For fucks sake,'' Levi said, pulling his arm from him and flicking the tie up into his face. ''Why're you wearing this suit, then? You don't wear suits, especially not in this hell heat. What did you do?"

Erwin stretched and folded his hands behind his head, using his leg to wrap around Levi's and pull him closer. ''I paid a visit to my last boss. Invited him out for lunch, even. I assumed the best way to truly talk to a business man was to dress and act like one. We went to Toledo's, you like Toledo's, but he mainly just ate the chips the entire time and nothing else. It was really too bad, the food there is great.''

''Erwin.''

''He's been having problems with the company ever since he put money in the wrong places. Bet a little too much in Vegas and at the casino across from Walmart, didn't help his workers who were ill in any way like the company had promised. Now he has more than enough lawsuits up his ass and is losing his house and his wife. She's leaving him for another man with their kids, the kids like stepdad, stepdad isn't a bitch. Stepdad also apparently takes them for trips and adventures like he promises instead of blowing all his money at the casino and ignoring his kids, so...'' Erwin did his little head flick, grinning now. ''The man needs help, was intimidated by the fact the person that quit so abruptly after being denied healthcare through the system sat in front of him so calmly and talked to him. Man didn't even notice that I had gotten him to admit to messing with the cash,''

Levi was astounded as he listened.

''Also, through our lovely conversation, he admitted to using the money that should have gone to those in need and the smaller companies for use of other things. Expensive watches, suits, car, big house out in wine country. Spent it mainly on plane tickets to fly over to Las Vegas instead of the car ride there. No bonuses for those that worked hard, knows the company is fucked and that means anyone working under it will be too. This gives a chance for competitors, and hopefully they won't be cheating them as well. So I offered my help and my intuition. He was hoping that I would be coming to work under him again, but that was not the case. I said I'd help him, but not how he was thinking. The man is facing too many felonies and assault charges, has been known to verbally abuse people and is a little too innapropriate for work settings. No matter what, he's going to jail. For me, it'll be a waiting game. I help him, figure out what to do to revive this company and he'll be taken to jail. After, I sort the money out, organize where each employee should be given their work status and then run it myself.''

A slow blink, then another. ''You actually fucking did it?" Levi asked, Erwin's legs still trapping him. ''You fucking did it, oh my God,'' he looked down, shaking his head. ''Unbelievable.''

Erwin took his hands and pulled them above his head, forcing Levi to lay flat against his chest. ''No, believable. I may be told to be a dumb blond by some, but I truly am smart,'' he said, smiling and looking down at the other. ''This means I don't need to be stuck in a teaching position at my old high school with kids not giving a single care about education while my scars are stared at. It now means I can further the city and help more people within a wider radius. I can also help my co-workers who were struggling with medical bills as well. I couldn't let them get fucked over, especially those that had worked there a long time to receive absolutely nothing.''

Levi set his hands on Erwin's chest and lifted his head, watching his eyes. As long as they were shining, he should be happy. ''You're a good person,'' he said, looking back down on the broad chest he was laying on. ''Don't forget that.''

The blond's smile grew and Levi could feel his hands sliding around his hips. ''Thank you, Levi. It means a lot. Especially coming from you,'' the large body under him strained momentarily before a kiss was placed to his hairline. 

''Yeah, well, I'm a fucking special person.''

''You are, truly,'' Erwin said, setting his hands instead on Levi's. ''The most special person in my life. Because, I love you, with everything in me and that can never change. I promise you that. You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me and I am so grateful.''

Levi dropped his face in Erwin's chest. ''You're so cliche,'' he answered, smiling against his chest as his face grew hot. 

''I'm serious.''

''I know,'' his words were slightly muffled. ''I know... I know.''

Fingers rubbed his undercut. ''As long as you know, then I am happy.''

He slipped his hands from the taller man's chest to his neck and shut his eyes, moving his head so he could breath as Erwin's other hand slipped to his rear and into his back pocket. A quiet massage followed, simply Erwin massaging Levi's ass and when the smaller man opened his eyes, he found him smiling at his own actions. With a shake of his head, he shut his eyes again, rather enjoying the feeling anyways. 

''How do you say 'I love you' in German?"

''Ich liebe dich. I've been saying it for years and you never noticed.''

''Well I don't speak German, fucktruck.'

''Only a few words you do.''

''That's because some German guy wanted me to learn a bit for whatever reason as he lied his way through high school, saying he didn't know German so he could have some easy classes.''

''At least I was never found out.''

''I was stuck doing fucking French with Farlan while you lied your way around.''

''I didn't lie, just manipulated the truth.''

''The teachers should have known you spoke German since your father was such an acclaimed teacher himself. They would know about your father, know he's from Germany, and then connect that as to why you aced every single test in class.''

''I did answer a few wrong to make it look like I was confused.''

''How did your father never know?"

''Oh he did,'' Erwin said, now using both hands to massage Levi's ass. ''He let me get away with it at school but made me study other languages at home. If my German work was so easy, then he was going to work me with Spanish. He also decided on Russian as well, so I learned two very violent sounding languages.''

Levi smiled. ''I think my father's Russian.''

''Really?"

''No, Erwin. I'm fucking around.''

''Oh... I'm just purely German, I think. At least you have a mystery waiting for you.''

''Yeah, that mystery's called 'what assholes are you related to and what's your heritage?'. I just know I'm mainly Jewish.''

''Did you ever celebrate any Jewish holidays with your mother?"

''Not frequently. The ceremonies sometimes lead her to bad times but uh, it's still in our blood. Felt like a duty more than just a ceremony. So I still do it with her, even today. More nowadays than I did when I was a kid. Something just clicked.''

Erwin nodded. ''What's it like being born on a holiday you don't celebrate?"

''It doesn't matter much to me, that's it. I was born on Christmas, all the nurses were wowed, they said I was a holy child. If I was born on Hanukkah though, I'd never hear the end of it. I think my mom was hoping that I'd be born on some important holiday, I just don't think she was expecting it to be on the twenty fifth.''

''Do you like being born on that day? Does it mean extra presents?"

''No. Means that I get my birthday presents and an occasional thing from someone else. I don't celebrate it, you know that.''

''Your birthday or Christmas, I know.''

Levi shifted and brought his legs up around Erwin's hips. ''Just can't find a reason to. You're always so joyful around that time, so I've been lenient.''

''Well... It's Christmas! But I know you don't get as excited as I do about it, but there was always something to look forward to. For me, it was the food, time with my father while my mom did something else. Having a week off with him. Up in the mountains, we would get two weeks, but down here it's only one.''

''That must have been disappointing when you moved.''

''It was, but mainly because I was afraid she would come back while my father was at work. So instead of taking the bus home like he told me to, I would walk to his classroom and wait there, even if he was still teaching or if he had a meeting. When we began hanging out after school, though, that fear went away. I just calmed and knew that everything would be fine. You also taught me how to climb monkey bars.''

''You should have known already.''

''I know, I know, but thanks to you I got through military training better.''

''I doubt it was the skill of being able to do monkey bars that got you through military training, Erwin.''

Erwin shifted softly, still massaging. ''You don't know!''

''You need strength and skill for that. I don't see how a children's game really helps.'' A low chuckle came from the blond and Levi finally raised his head to look at him again. ''Are you just going to continue rubbing my ass or are you going to go further with it?"

The blond smiled. ''Well I'm pinned, I thought you would be the one to initiate.''

Levi sighed, shifting and moving to straddle Erwin's lap with his hands sliding to his chest. ''Putting all the work on me this time, are you?"

Erwin rubbed Levi's thighs, grinning up at him as the smaller male leaned down. ''It's an exchange of strength.'' Levi kissed him softly, pulling away to grin back.

''Shut up.''

~*~

Erwin was asleep on the bed with his arm over his stomach, the other one around Levi as he pressed against him, running his hand across the blond's chest. Hair was growing back, his leg hair was back, and in other noticeable places, so was the light golden hairs that trailed up his stomach and up on his chest. He very gently kissed Erwin's shoulder as he slept, on the mess of scars. Levi thought about the fear he felt when he was informed on what the blond was doing to himself back in high school. His finger trailed to the scar on Erwin's side, another story, another memory. He'd been through so much, and finally, just finally Levi began to hope that things would go good for him. 

Levi kissed his jaw, pressing his face softly into his neck. ''I love you too, Erwin.''

The next day, the smaller male went with Hange to a memorial at a quiet church in the center of nowhere, Moblit unable to go himself due to work search so Levi pitched in. They were told specifically not to wear black, wear something bright, the person who passed away wouldn't want them to be miserable. 

But it was, people Levi didn't even know were crying over a dead family member and he looked to Hange as they sat beside him, watching the picture up at the front with dark eyes behind their oval spectacles. ''How'd you know them?" he whispered.

Their head tilted slightly, very soft breath escaping their nose. ''Second cousin. She went into the military as a nurse and was shot on the battlefield when trying to treat wounds. I didn't really see her a lot, but the times I did she had big dreams,'' Hange lowered their head softly. ''Too bad they couldn't be fulfilled.''

Dark blue eyes struggled to pull away from the melancholy look on the others face, looking back at the large picture of the woman smiling. She had the same ambitions as Hange, he could tell in her eyes. It really was too bad, God was a bitch and the preacher was only promoting his church instead of talking about the woman that was lost. Neither Levi or Hange could eat the food that was served or really drink the water, they were a bit too depressing for a memorial and Hange held back tears when ''Over the Rainbow'' began to be sung by the woman's sister. 

So many people had gathered for the memorial, people the woman may have not even remembered in her time on the planet. But Levi realized that the same would have been of Erwin, and he would have been sitting in the church pews instead wearing a suit and staring at the casket and a photograph of his friend. This made him realize more, and tears came on because of that simply.

They weren't allowed in the sanctuary, but were allowed into the room beside meant for these sorts of things and weddings, so while Hange used the bathroom, Levi wandered into the church. It was always open for worship, or for prayers, just for safety and shelter during bad times. 

A silent church always gave him an odd feeling. Usually the pews were supposed to be filled and there should be a bride and groom standing at the front with a minister between them whenever he was in one. But dust and colored light filtered through the stained glass windows, down upon the altar and the candles with the statue of Jesus on the cross behind it. The tips of his fingers brushed against the wood pews softly as his shoes echoed on the floor, his eyes skimming across the warm wood before he lifted them to the statue again. He paused by the front two rows and watched it, seemingly waiting for something before he sat down and leaned forth with his arms on his knees, hands folded together.

Levi lowered his head a bit on instinct, eyes still darting around. 

''I don't go to church... Never have. My sunday mornings weren't spent worshipping you, or anything like that... I've never been particularly religious, but I started to be when shit got bad. Just a little bit, I felt somewhat relieved and wondered if that's what people felt when they did regularly go to church. You didn't kill my mother, you brought us a man that looked like an angel that was hurt by his mother that helped us live. Helped her live. But then you hurt him more,'' Levi raised his head a bit. ''He had a terrible life, and it got even worse when he went to fight. In a war in your name, no less when you were supposed to be protecting our country for some reason. Things got better before they got worse and you showed him the company... Showed him his path but he didn't know it. Mike and Nanaba got together, Hange and Moblit bought a house together and I got a well paying job but he was dying. And you spared him, again.''

He cleared his throat, lowering his head again and gritting his teeth before speaking.

''You spared him again after I spoke to him. Now I don't know if your forces have anything to do with the lives of my friends, or if you even exist... But... Please. Let-'' tears burned at the backs of his eyes. ''Don't make me have to go to a funeral for one of my friends until we really really lived. And I mean after we all get married, have kids, if we do, just- For the sake of Erwin Smith, let us all live past ninety. And please,'' he blinked and stared at the floor. ''Let him live too. He's tried his own life already, nearly died by accident and nearly died again because his body was failing him. I know that's too much to ask for, but I don't know what he's being punished for. He's a good man, with a good heart, and I can't understand it.

Erwin's been through so much, and for all I know, I'm talking to nothing, but it's worth a try, just this once, to pray for them. You don't have to forgive me of my sins, that won't do anything. Just please give them good lives. Nanaba and Erwin had the same childhood and the rest of us have suffered as well. Just- take it into your consideration.''

Levi finished with a very shallow breath, looking back up to the statue that hung for him to see. Nothing felt different, and he only felt sad, having brought himself to near tears. He stood and watched the pew he had been sitting in before reaching forth and tapping it softly. Levi walked back down the aisle and pushed open the right door, slipping back out into the heat to find Hange and head home. 

They were leaning against the car with their hands in their pockets, watching those that were filtering out to go to the after party, some heading inside the church to pray themselves. Hange looked up at him, finding him walking down the steps towards them as he pulled his keys from his pocket. He moved around the car to get into the driver's seat and Hange's eyes followed him the entire way.

''Where were you?" they asked.

''The church,'' he answered quickly, unlocking the car. ''Just had a few meaningless words I wanted to get out.'' 

Levi slipped into the car and they followed him in. He pressed the radio on and pulled his seatbelt on, Hange clicking their's in place before they sat their thighs on their hands and stared out the window on the way home. ''You never seemed to be the praying type to me.'' they said. 

His eyes were trained on the road and the rear view mirrors. ''I don't think what I did can be called praying, Hange.'' he said, gripping the steering wheel. ''Just a few statements to the air, really.''

The other looked to him and watched him drive, trying to read him again but couldn't get much past the cold exterior. They just looked back out the window, watching the fields fly past as the radio played top hits that neither of them really cared for. ''Do you think you were heard?"

''I said to the air.''

They turned their head to look at him again but their eyes focused on the road. ''Still, Levi. Do you think the air heard you?"

''You know, you say some weird shit.''

''Just answer me,'' they said in their no bullshit tone. He couldn't tell if there was an answer hanging in the air for him. He didn't really have an interview with God, or anything of that sort. Jesus definitely wasn't there, and he could tell that there wasn't a seraph listening to him either. But did the air answer him? Not really. It was just hot and muggy.

''I don't know,'' he answered quietly. ''I don't know if religion is bull, or if any god's exist, from the Greek and Roman god's to our modern ones and fake prophets. I don't know if everything I've been taught to believe in is a waste of time or if it's real. I don't know if God made us in his image, because he made some pretty scary mother fucker's and I don't know if I was heard. To be honest, I don't know what I was talking to in the first place. The air, who knows? Maybe it did, but I'm not very fucking sure.''

His voice didn't hold malice, or hatred, just plain and simple factual tone. Hange laid their head back against the seat and shut their eyes after he finished, both listening to talk radio and the road beneath them as they drove on, hopefully to both see their boyfriends. 

Could the air hear him?

Could Jesus hear him?

Could God hear him?

He didn't know, and he didn't very well care. If there were any Gods, they were pretty sadisitic and cruel, but he still hoped there was a joyful afterlife waiting for Erwin, for all of his friends. Because that hope never left him since the day he found out his mother had breast cancer.

~*~


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin gets a tattoo.

Were prayers ever really heard? Did people accidentally begin working towards their goals far harder after their beliefs caused them to? Or did the hand of God have something to do with it?

Ever since he sat and talked, to what felt like nothing, things began to settle in their place just a tiny bit more, enough to the point where he could calm down and let himself rest a bit. Levi felt more that he had talked to himself, had helped himself become calm about the situations at hand. After the chaos that was his teenage years and the years afterwards, he had a hard time relaxing or not worrying about something, but it was coming together. He couldn't say that he believed in a higher power yet, but could say he believed in himself more that any other times. Slowly he was shifting from the job at PG&E to a job checking fire alarms in businesses, offices, hospitals and prisons. His good eye and technological knowledge was a great help and he'd have regular hours and good pay if this went his way. 

Erwin was still in construction, paying regular visits to the CEO of the company he used to work for and was basically keeping the man afloat until justice was served. Mike was in Morro Bay with Nanaba, the two going on the road trip that morning so he could propose later and spend a night out on the ocean with her in the boat he was renting. 

Moblit had landed a teaching job at one of the middle schools, an art teacher with a good eye and he left his current employment. Hange was... Hange, pretty much, and he couldn't fight with that. His mother was enjoying her home and had company over more frequently, but also didn't have the time away from work to do what she liked, which was going on a trip with one of her friends somewhere. The dog wasn't dead yet, amazingly after she told him it got ahold of one of the bars of chocolates he took over and ate half of it before she found him with it. 

Petra and Oluo were planning their wedding, the theme was set out, invitations were being filled and a wedding dress had been bought. The honeymoon was planned, Oluo was getting a suit, everything was getting set in order and there was only a very quick pause when the news of Levi and Erwin dating hit their side of town. Smiling, Petra called him and had a long conversation with him about it, mainly making jokes that he acted he didn't care for but did truly. 

Isabel was getting good pay in LA but was still trying to work her way over to her hometown, but he said it was the city of dead dreams. Farlan was in search of a relative, travelling the states but last he called he informed him he had a lead on where this person was. Both were fine, both were healthy, both were alive.

And Levi, Levi was pretty content. Maybe he was a bit iffy about Erwin working without safety equipment, but he wasn't going to complain about the fact he was gleaming in the sunlight, completely shirtless. The blond hairs on his body glowed and his sweat made him shine, the man wearing a mask over his mouth as the only protection. His pants hung a bit low, but there weren't any complaints as Levi sat on the roof of his car, unwrapping food he had bought made for the two of them. The blond let himself down using his ropes and brushed himself off, pulling the mask off and his goggles before setting them aside. 

The smaller man watched, chin in his hand as Erwin approached and lifted himself up beside him. 

''It's rather hot over here,'' Erwin stated, picking up his sandwich. 

''I didn't say anything about you being shirtless, now did I?"

Erwin grinned, giving Levi a quick kiss before biting into his food. Levi ate as well, both admiring how far Erwin had gotten with construction in such a small amount of time. The scars could barely be seen on his body, they were simply looked over. His hair on his head and grown in well, but in Levi's opinion, it needed a shaving around the sides. But it was Erwin's hair, and it wasn't long enough to be parted to cover the scar on the side either, so he couldn't blame him. 

He did reach over and spike the front bit up a bit as he chewed on his food, Erwin paused and trying to watch his arm but he instead went cross eyed. He gave up on that and kept eating, Levi retracting his hand as they both looked back to the construction. 

''What are you going to do with the back lot?" he asked, taking another bite.

''Hm, I thought a pool.'' he answered, pointing to where things would be. ''It's hotter than hell here anyways, and there could be a nice big area and then the rest to explore. Probably plant a few trees together, maybe make a treehouse.''

Levi leaned against him, chewing his food and trying to imagine what Erwin was seeing from there. Shadows built up from what Erwin was imagining and he could see it in the house as well. ''It'll look cool,'' Levi said, offering a few chips to the blond.

Erwin took them gratefully and popped one in his mouth, crunching down on it as he looked over his land. ''Thanks for scouting this out before I got out of the hospital, Levi. I wouldn't be this far ahead if it weren't for you.''

''I wouldn't have a lot if it weren't for you, so think of this as a thank you for your actions.'' he wouldn't have his mother, his home, his job, nor the way his life was if it weren't for Erwin in the past. He tried giving back by trying to save him, but so far he was doing a better job by helping him to shape his way through. Levi felt happy here, happy sitting with Erwin in the blazing heat and looking up at what he was creating. It just felt... Fulfilling.

Fulfillment came each time he was given a kiss, or a hug, or whenever Erwin gave him a smile in return for his actions. Hope came in the form of large cuddles or an impromptu sing along in the car. Love came with the gentle things, like how instead of checking their phones they rolled over and gave each other kisses on the cheek and said good morning. The small conversations, the soft touches and the little reminders that they gave each other, whether it be medications, meetings, appointments, or whatever. It felt nice, it felt safe and comfortable.

They didn't need long sappy talks about how they loved each other, didn't need to go on extravagant vacations or go to dinner regularly. It was casual with them, things happened over a broad amount of time usually. When things were quick was when one of them made a sudden decision, which was rare. Both man was terrible with making a cemented decision no matter what they said to stick up for themselves. 

Even though they were both sweating like pigs, they could spend hours together and say nothing in the comfort of one another. Erwin's work time was about up anyways, it was reaching the hottest time of the day and that also meant his breaking point. After he ate he gathered his things and got in the car with Levi, laying against the dashboard to get most of the air conditioning on himself while the shorter man handed him a bottle of water. He watched the skeleton of the house get smaller in the distance as they drove away, heading to his apartment for the rest of the day so Erwin could shower and cuddle up in his pajamas, probably watching some reality show.

That had become his secret passion, reality shows. He loved them, chimed in occasionally and fell asleep watching them most nights. He'd slowly seperated himself from his fathers home and had slowly moved in with Levi. Levi had no complaints against this, either. The house was still relatively quiet, but still had those bits of humanity dotting the place. A coffee cup, towel, an article of clothing or Erwin's razor still beside the sink. He just thought about how odd it must be for papa Smith to realize that finally his son was leaving home. 

The man never got angry about his son living in his home years after the time he promised to leave, there was no reason to. All he did was worry and care for him. Levi could tell Erwin regretted those years he stayed, put his father through hell, but his father would have come to care for him no matter what part of the world he was in. Erwin had confessed that he felt like he could have avoided drinking and so many things if he had simply done things differently. Erwin still had so many dark thoughts brewing in his mind, so many ideas and comments that he needed to get out but struggled with. 

Levi just hoped that the man never said that he wished he was successful back in high school, or that he never uttered the words ''I wished I died on the battlefield.'' Things were great now, everything was looking up but he realized that no matter what he did, he could not cure Erwin's depression. He could not cure his PTSD nor his night terrors, he could not make him stop zoning out at random times of day when he was doing things, he could not cure him from screaming out for his father at night and pleading for his mother to stop. These things he could not cure, but he could stand back and offer his help.

Back at the apartment Erwin took a long shower while Levi flipped through channels to find his program, turning the volume up a bit before starting on dinner. Erwin came padding out not long after, eyes focused on the television in his shorts and tee shirt.

''You know these shows are ridiculous.'' Erwin said, sitting down. ''No one should be watching them.'' he continued, still watching the television. 

Levi looked around to see he had shaved the sides and the back by himself but left the top, cute fluff spiking up by itself. He waited for the pan to heat up, watching the man with his eyes secured on the TV while he sat on his hands. 

''You're watching it, though,'' Levi said. ''I knew it was your secret passion. This or discovery channel.''

''They don't even discover anything anymore,'' Erwin complained. ''Its just truckers and things doing nothing. What happened to actually discovering?"

''Sound like an old man.''

''I am not an old man...'' he grumbled. Levi fed him a piece of food and Erwin held onto his arm, pressing his cheek against it. ''Just disgruntled that they are not living up to their title like they should be.'' Levi sat on the arm of the couch, letting Erwin cuddle him for the time being. ''Would you mind if I got a tattoo?" he asked suddenly.

''Your body. Just don't get some stupid bullshit that I won't be able to face while having sex with you.''

Erwin smiled. ''No no, of course not. I was going to get The Wings somewhere, maybe on my arm but in a place where it can be hidden for work purposes.''

Levi rubbed the freshly shaved hair. ''It means a lot to you, so I'm not stopping you at all. Make an appointment with an artist and get it organized. Just don't scream when you get the tattoo done, either.''

''I'm not that weak...'' Erwin complained and yawned after, Levi freeing himself to finish cooking. It wasn't a very large meal, but enough to keep the taller man full until the morning when he woke up so he didn't get up in the middle of the night to rummage around for food. 

He fell asleep on the couch not even ten minutes after eating, his leg hanging off with his arms over his chest and stomach. He snored softly, blue eyes resting and strong muscles relaxing from his hard day at work. Erwin made himself a series of ropes that he pulled during the day to go up or down, depending on what part he was working on. So far it was the construction of the roof and he had a series of ropes and poles that he pulled himself across to work on seperate parts. He also pulled heavy wooden beams up with him and balanced himself, two hundred and sixty pounds plus the weight of the wood strained his muscles but he didn't give up. 

Levi may not have enjoyed how much the man pushed himself, but he didn't say anything. Wasn't his place and didn't display any health issues yet. When it did, he would just sit in silence with Erwin cowering and that wouldn't be the best time.

Instead of dragging the taller man to bed, he curled up with him, snug inbetween the back of the couch and Erwin's side. Soon the buff arm wrapped around him and held him securely, Erwin nuzzling his face into his hair while he made himself comfortable. With his cheek on his chest and his hand playing with the other sleeve of his boyfriend's shirt, Levi laid comfortably. The air conditioner was going and the fan in the center of the room was blowing on them as well while they laid together. 

He shut his eyes softly, listening to Erwin's heartbeat. The rhythm was calming, helped him realize that the blond was here, right now and wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. There was no chance of him being deployed again, the cancer had no chance of coming back. He was healthier than ever and his mother was still locked tight in jail, he was building his house and himself while a company would be set in his hands.

Everything was okay, and no one could have been happier.

~*~

Erwin sat calmly in the tattooing bed, tapping the armrests while Levi looked at a magazine on what tattoos to avoid, spinning gently in the chair. He flipped the page and ghosted over to Erwin's side, planting a kiss on his cheek.

''This is a dumb idea.'' he said before leaning back to continue reading.

The blond simply smiled. 

''You said you weren't going to say anything about me wanting a tattoo since it means a lot to me. It'll be on a my bicep, easily hidden from the eyes of people. It shouldn't be an issue and I doubt this will be able to get fucked up, either. I just took a photo of the Wings and the guy's making an outline right now.''

''Am I going to have to hold your hand the entire time?"

A strong hand took his own. 

''Yes you will. I've never gotten a tattoo and I fucking hate needles.'' Erwin whispered. There were some people there that were so heavily tattooed that you would have an issue seeing their skin color in the shop, waiting to get inked up more. Erwin took in a sharp breath as the artist approached, showing the blond the outline. 

''You sure you want this?" the man asked. ''I always ask before doing anything.''

He nodded. ''Yes I do.''

Levi noticed that there were also a series of dots and lines on another sketch that the artist had made that captured his attention. In question Levi glanced over to them but said nothing, just held Erwin's hand as the outline was applied and the tattooing began.

Erwin mainly clenched his jaw and gripped Levi's hand, laying his head back and shutting his eyes. Where he was getting tattooed was a very sensitive spot, the skin very soft. But it wasn't on bone directly, where it would be the worst spot for it. The artist was very gentle when wiping and kept giving assurance to Erwin that he was doing great. Levi kept teasing him quietly, grinning when Erwin opened his eyes and tried pinching him with his other hand. But before he knew it, this tattoo was outlined, colored, and cleaned. 

''Would you like to take a look before we get started on the other one?" the artist asked. Erwin freed his hand from his boyfriend and looked at his bicep, stunned silent.

''Its amazing.'' he said. ''Looks like its sewn in.'' 

The artist was very proud before starting on the other tattoo, a series of dots and lines and spaces on the blond's forearm that meant something to him. 

''You explained the Wings to me, but what is this?" the artist asked. 

''Morse code. Spells out my comrades names.''

"Must mean a lot to you then, these people if you're getting their names put on your body permenantly.''

Erwin nodded, squeezing Levi's hand for a different reason this time. The artist was precise again, more care put into the dots and lines, making sure he got them down perfectly. He couldn't mess this up, if he did he'd be fucked into a corner.

But it was done perfectly and Erwin was cleaned up again. The tattoo on his forearm wasn't very noticeable so it wouldn't be an issue for work settings. It was nice to look at and he paid before heading home with Levi in the car. He kept admiring his tattoos as Levi drove, the smaller man glancing to him occasionally to find him either smiling or just looking at them softly. He was so proud of them now, and proud of himself for going through that pain. 

The artist hadn't said anything about the scars on his shoulder when the sleeve had to get pushed up and Levi knew that made Erwin happy. To not be heavily questioned about them but having a silent understanding in its place was a lovely change. 

''Would you ever get a tattoo, Levi?" he asked suddenly.

''Maybe.'' he said. ''Something that means a lot to me. But I wouldn't know what that would be, or how to do it subtely.''

''Something from your childhood. Like an image that you could get.''

He grinned. ''And what would that be? A baseball?"

Erwin chuckled. ''Not necasserily!"

''Maybe I'll just get a morse code tattoo like you. Or soundwave tattoo of someone close to me saying something important. Like a phrase.''

''Ich liebe dich.''

Levi smiled. ''Yeah, maybe I'll get that.''

Erwin slumped over and pushed his face into Levi's neck, kissing it gently before shutting his eyes. He was very relaxed in that position. ''So you'll go to Germany with me?"

''If you want me to, then yeah. I'll go anywhere in the world with you.''

~*~


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin has an appreciation for rain and goes to get answers from his father about what occured during his childhood with his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've no clue how to update on a regular basis, excuse me.

Erwin was leaning against the open doorway of the back patio, staring out at the grey clouds above them that were throwing rain down on them with flashes of lightning and the sound of thunder accompanying it. His house was well under way, though not completed inside just yet. Summer had been spent working and healing, for both of them, solving things in their relationship and understanding each other to a level that they had never gotten the chance to before. 

His blue eyes shut very slowly before Erwin took in a slow breath of the hot rain. It was still around ninety degrees, but the rain as it hit the skin was cool and caused him to shiver when he had reached his palm out to catch some drops. The heat hadn't died down completely just yet, but it was getting there and Erwin was grateful. It meant less scorching heat and dehydration in the sun and more blankets, hot drinks and meals, and hopefully a trip to his fathers homeland. He couldn't remember much of what his father had told him about Germany, or much about his own memories of the country or his grandparents either. 

But over the next few months, he and Levi had much to see and celebrate. First, it was Erwin's birthday. Then Halloween, hopefully November meant a well needed trip to Germany and then Hannukah from December twelfth to December twentieth, and Levi was giving in quietly to going for a birthday dinner mixed with Christmas celebration with their friends. 

He opened his eyes again, looking out at what would be he and Levi's backyard. Well, those were his plans. Levi did find the location and grounds when he was in the hospital and Erwin was getting lots of help from him in constructing the house. Besides the fact Erwin was already planning on spending the rest of his life with him. 

Hopefully.

Erwin had no clue how things would go between them if they ever did break up. He never really thought about it until their first major fight, which had lead Erwin here to his construction site to stand in what was becoming his home. The apartment wasn't much for both of them, Levi had moved into it because it was meant for one, one of his own size and Erwin felt that he had pushed through when even the slightest remark pertaining to moving in together came up. 

To be fair, Erwin had stormed out and marched to his car after receiving The Glare from Levi and drove off in an angy phase with the clouds starting to gather. Maybe it was the change of weather, or maybe it was because Erwin hadn't washed the dishes or done the laundry like he had been asked to do for nearly a month. 

Levi worked hard to keep the house clean and keep the closet organized. Made sure to regularly take his car to the carwash or to clean the windows and wax the mirror. He had taken up doing the laundry and dishes when Erwin didn't do it after promising, and Erwin realized that it wasn't his house to begin with. It was becoming theirs, and if it was theirs, then there had to be shared work of the chores, and of the living space, of the personal time they had. 

Even though they loved each other dearly, living with near the polar opposite was fucking taxing for not only one reason. Time away from each other was as loved as time together, and Erwin didn't know if leaving Levi behind to be by himself was the best idea right now. Even though they needed to clear the air, marching out like a frustrated little kid was ridiculous, and solved nothing for them. 

He ended up picking up the water bottle he had bought and walking through the empty first floor of the house and down the dirt that was spread to show where the driveway was. Erwin marched through the dirt that clung to his shoes with the rain hitting him and opened the car door, slipping inside and starting it up before driving back to his little beloved. 

Erwin stopped in the parking lot of the apartment complex and very slowly turned the car off before unbuckling himself. It took him a few minutes to open the car door before stepping out into the middle of a thunderstorm. Now this was just going to look ridiculous...

He jogged across the parking lot and up the steps to the apartment, slipping on one but catching himself before fumbling for his keys and unlocking the door, stepping inside and on the mat before removing his shoes and stepping inside further. Levi was looking over the back of the couch at him and Erwin cleaned himself off before clearing his throat. 

''I realized that how I acted was stupid.'' Erwin said. ''And that you do a lot here, in your apartment and I need to help out more. I apologize.''

''That was sudden,'' Levi said, leaning back against the armrest. ''I'm sorry too. For bringing it up like an asshole.''

The blond jumped over the back of the couch and kissed Levi gently. 

''I love you,'' Erwin said. 

''I love you too.'' Levi answered. ''You're wet, go dry off and then we can cuddle.''

Erwin kissed his cheek before standing and walking to the bathroom. There was still an air about them, but not as thick as it was beforehand. He dried his hair and skin before changing into his loose shorts and shirt, sliding on his socks towards Levi who was now in the kitchen and making himself some tea. Erwin leaned against the counter, picking up a spoon and drumming before Levi confiscated it and used it to stir his drink.

''Uhm,'' Erwin said, eyes still focused on coffee beans on the counter before he scooped them into the garbage and finally looked at Levi. ''Are you still sure about Germany?"

Levi nodded. 

''Why wouldn't I be?"

''Just asking...'' he answered. ''I'll need to order them beforehand, probably. Get good seats, at a good time. Do you want the window?"

''No, you can take the window seat.''

''Cool.''

''What's bothering you?" Levi asked, then lifting his cup and sipping his tea while watching Erwin's eyes. 

Erwin shrugged. 

''Just thinking about the next few months,'' he then smiled. ''What are you getting me for my birthday? Can I have a puppy?"

''No, you can't have a puppy.''

''A cat?"

''...I'll think on it.'' he answered, setting his cup down and taking Erwin's hand, bringing him closer. ''What else, Erwin? You're avoiding something.''

Erwin held Levi's hand, looking down at it and turning it over to look at his palm. He admired it quietly before he spoke again.

''I want to ask my father if he knows why my mother treated me like she did. I want to know if he has the answers because I don't want to ask her myself. I don't want to show up to the prison, I don't want to have a formal meeting with her in the middle of an office with cameras around us and people around us. I want an answer, from the one person I've been comfortable with my entire life, and I don't want to look her in the face but-''

Levi was watching his face with the subtley scared but concerned expression, the one that would hurt Erwin more than the original issue at hand. 

''But what, darling?" Levi asked.

''I'm scared.'' Erwin responded. It sounded so weak, sounded nothing like him. If anything it sounded like that scared nine year old he had been so long ago, that tone he never wanted to hear again. His eyes burned, and he gripped the counter top. ''I'm afraid of my father, I've never been afraid of him.''

''I don't think you're afraid of him, Erwin, but what he might tell you.''

''I'm afraid of the answer I'm looking for?" he asked, looking back up to Levi and found him nodding gently. 

''That's my guess. That man is nothing if not understanding and caring, Erwin. You know this. Fuck, he feels bad when he kills flies let alone when he accidentally steps on a dog.'' Erwin laughed gently, wiping his nose and sniffing. ''I've never seen you afraid of him.''

''Just deep rooted fear of my mother?"

''Yeah...'' Levi answered, kissing Erwin's cheek before he wiped the tears off of his cheek. Erwin pulled him closer, hugging him and burying his face into his hair while Levi held him tightly in return. Finally he pulled back before getting a kiss to his chin. ''Are you alright now?"

Erwin nodded. 

''I feel good.''

''Good. Now wash the few dishes that there are and come to bed.'' he said, smacking Erwin's ass before walking away. Erwin smiled, washing the dishes while he heard Levi showering before falling onto the bed and rubbing his face into the pillow. He felt Levi sidle up beside him and he threw his arm around him, Levi pulling his sleeve back and running his fingers over his bicep. 

''I've been working out more,'' he stated.

''I'm admiring your tattoo, dumbass,'' Levi answered. ''But yes, your biceps are nice to touch anyways.''

Erwin shifted and wriggled until he was on his side and holding Levi, watching his fingers follow the lines of the wings and the corners before he gave in and cupped Erwin's bicep fully. He smiled, feeling Levi's other hand gently sit on his arm and rub against his wrist, the motions calming him to sleep.

~*~

Knuckles rapped against the door a few times before he pushed his hands into his back pockets and stared down at the pine needles on the mat, the door swinging open before he lifted his head and smiled at his father. 

''Erwin!" His father stated, the two hugging while Erwin stepped through the doorway.

''Hallo. Wie geht's dir?"

''I'm great! Lovely to see you. How are you and Levi?"

"We had a bit of an argument yesterday, but we're fine.''

''Do you want me to make something? Stollen?"

''No, I'm just here to talk right now.'' Erwin answered, his father pausing and realizing that it would be a very serious talk between them. The older man gave a hesitant nod before clasping his hands together. 

''Right right, then sit. Nothing to drink?"

''Water, please.''

The man got two tall glasses of water, one with lemon for his son before coming back and sitting on the couch beside him, handing him his glass. Erwin leaned forth and set his glass on the table after taking a large gulp, his father behind him watching with his own glass in his lap.

''What is it, Erwin? Has something happened between you and Levi? Something with Marie?"

''No,'' Erwin answered. ''Nothing like that. It's...'' he raised his hand a few inches above his lap before he sat against the back of the couch. ''Before either of them.''

''W... With your mother?"

''Yeah... I have... Questions that I've been too afraid to ask until now.''

''Go ahead, ask away. I'm right here.''

''When did you start noticing things?"

''When she was angry, you hid behind my legs. Or I wouldn't see you for hours after we argued and I'd try and go and find you. Those were the first signs.''

''When uh...'' Erwin palmed his eye. ''When you came home and found me... What was your first thought?"

''What the fuck happened to my son.'' he hated hearing his father's voice break like this. ''I was terrified. I felt my heart stop and drop to my stomach and I ran out to you, held you, hoped you were still breathing and would live. I worried about what occured to you and what may have happened to your mother before she came out and... I picked you up, put you in the car, and drove to Nile's, leaving her behind on the driveway.''

Erwin took a deep breath, dropping his hand and opening his eyes again.

''Do you know why she did this to me? Why she was so angry at me?"

''Oh...'' it was a noise he had never heard come from his father before. Erwin raised his eyes, looking at him and found his father looking away and towards his feet before his eyes shut slowly and then opened to face him, saddened. ''She wanted to have another. And I agreed. Not long after, she fell pregnant, but her body wasn't completely ready for it yet...''

Erwin's mouth fell open.

''You were too young to remember, but she had a miscarriage.'' his father was on the point of crying. ''We held you for hours afterwards, so happy to have you and we swore to love and protect you. I wanted to raise my son, and she did as well, but she blamed you for-''

His father sobbed, Erwin feeling confusion upon that moment to see his father cry, watching him as he set his hand upon his cheek and covered his eye. 

''And even though the doctors had warned her beforehand, and I said what I could, I still agreed to it. I agreed to have another child with her and in the process that one died because her body was not ready or willing to support another baby. And in that same process, you were hurt so badly.''

Erwin was crying, reaching to his father and hooking his arm around his neck before pulling him into his chest to hold him like his father had held him so many times before. His father let the strong image he had always put up for his son go away and Erwin held him, gripped him and shut his eyes before hiding his face and his head with him. 

After a few minutes, the two of them calmed enough to talk and he forced his father to listen to what he had to say. 

''Not your fault'' and ''Don't blame yourself'' and his father said the exact same thing in return to him. Neither of them had caused it, and neither of them blamed each other for it, either. Erwin sat and talked about lighter things with his father before the situation warped around to Levi.

''Yeah... Levi...'' Erwin said, laying his head back on the couch.

''Do you love him?"

''Yeah. We sometimes want to rip each other's throats out, but that's normal.''

His father laughed. 

''Perhaps for your relationship,'' he answered, Erwin laughing with him. ''How about Mike and Nanaba? How are they doing?"

''Great. Just... Planning for their wedding. Hange and Moblit seem to be in good spirits too. Moblit is waiting for me to propose to Levi and I think Hange is trying to convince Levi to propose to me.''

''Are you?" his father asked, eyes wide and watching his son. 

''It's early still...'' Erwin said quietly, playing with a fray on his jeans. ''I dunno.''

''Do you want to?"

''Well... Look at how well my last proposal went...''

''That was far different, Erwin, and you know that. Completely different situation with a completely different person. Woman to man, dinner date to old friend. Refusing help to... You know.''

''Finally accepting it?"

''Yeah... You handled the wedding very well, though.''

''Watching my best friend marry my ex fiance? I guess I did handle it pretty well...''

''And wore the uniform. Those are very big steps for you, Erwin. Especially dating Levi, even getting back to dating.''

''I was thinking about Levi and I, how we eventually actually administered the fact we were dating. And I realized that if we ever broke up, our lives would be completely different.''

''Are you breaking up with him?"

''No, no no... It was a thought that popped into my mind. One of the more scary ones. I don't plan on doing so, unless he feels more comfortable with us to stop dating. But while I've been building the house I've been putting in ideas about how Levi would feel there. Things I do resonate around 'Oh, would Levi like this too?' or 'How would Levi feel about this?' and 'Would he view this as dangerous or just plainly stupid?'. Things like that come into my mind now a lot more now that we're officially dating.''

''You've always made heart eyes at him.'' his father said, Erwin turning his head to him. 

''I did not!"

''Yes you did, Erwin. And he made heart eyes at you and both of you were too blind to notice all through high school and the hell you put each other through that you were making these stupid looks at each other. But that's being a teenager, being blind until you finally realize that it meant something and it would help you.''

''Levi's always had a crush on me?"

''You helped him greatly and were the star athlete in school. Besides having a hoard of girls and guys following you, you had Levi the closest to you the entire time. And word travels fast when you're a teacher in the district.''

''I know, I did something at a party and even before I stepped through the door you were scolding me.''

''Well it was fucking stupid.'' his father stood, drinking his water before walking over to the kitchen and Erwin smiled, watching him go. ''And I couldn't allow my son to be a complete idiot. Not at least unless you were around people you could trust.''

''It was weird not having Levi to talk to.''

''During college, you mean?"

''Yeah. And when I was out trying to be a soldier too. I just... I felt I needed to call him. That I needed to talk to him but never did.''

''That was your stupid young mind,'' his father answered, walking back into the living room with his glass. ''Making decisions and throwing yourself around. But benefits, things like that from the military. A degree from schooling, and now you're what, manipulating a man into giving you a company?"

''Smith's are not lazy, that is what I've always been told.''

''It's 'Smith ist nicht faul' to be proper.''

''Smith ist nicht faul.''

''Very good.'' 

Erwin smiled.

''Mike is going to get married soon and I have some questions about being best man.''

''Oh, well I'm more than happy to help. But we will be talking about your wedding with Levi afterwards.''

**Author's Note:**

> Another episode of ''Let's see how well it does before I potentially delete it''


End file.
